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#1
Dec 14, 2014, 06:48 PM
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I am dating a woman who has marks pretty much indicating a problem here. Can I ask her about it or would it be to sensitive a subject?
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#2
Dec 14, 2014, 08:08 PM
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Cygnus, SI can be a very sensitive issue. It is good that you are sensitive enough to notice traces of it. Maybe as trust as developed between you two you could talk about a friend who does SI and is trying to stop or some very indirect way.
Some people have so much guilt about SI that they try to hide it. You are taking a big risk bringing up the subject. Proceed with much caution.
__________________
Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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#3
Dec 14, 2014, 08:34 PM
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as somebody with scars, i would be very uncomfortable if a date questioned me about them. i would be honest, but still very uncomfortable and wonder if he would ever talk to me again after i told the truth. it would be better handled if i referred to mental health issues for myself first in anyway. then i have opened the door for the discussion.
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#4
Dec 18, 2014, 11:46 AM
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How long have you been seeing her? When I first started dating my partner, he waited until we'd been seeing each other a little while and were 100% comfortable with each other before he brought it up. I'd been paranoid about what he thought about me because I knew he'd have seen my scars, so it was a relief to me that he reassured me that it was OK and that he was so understanding and supportive about it. It meant that when I was having a bad time, rather than dealing with it alone I knew that he would be there to help.
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#5
Dec 19, 2014, 10:22 PM
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I think it also depends on how obvious they are and maybe how old they are. I mean, looking at me, one could easily see I have a lot of scars on my arms. If that is the case maybe she wouldn't mind. I don't mind since mine are all very old and you'd have to be blind not to see mine. I really don't cut very often anymore. If I have recently cut, I don't want to talk about it.
__________________
...In the darkness I will meet my creators And they will all agree, that I’m a suffocator
 -Daughter |
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#6
Dec 26, 2014, 02:01 PM
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i would ask if i were you. just be very sensitive.
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#7
Dec 26, 2014, 04:06 PM
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A lot of times SI is a silent cry for help.
But make sure the two of you have a very good foundation first and that you are very comfortable with each other. and if they are SI marks, but as accepting and supportive and understanding as you can possibly be.
__________________
Yes. Jesus is the reason I am still alive today.  Diagnoses: MDD, BPD, PTSD, OCD, AN-BP (I don't define myself by my personal alphabet up there, but I put it there so that maybe somebody won't feel so alone  )
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#8
Dec 27, 2014, 01:48 PM
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good luck if you do, and i agree with the person above me
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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