[Fifth_Sonata]

Hi everyone. I'm new to the Psych Central forums. I found it while browsing some mental health websites.

I've been struggling with disordered eating and self injury for almost a decade. It never hit me how long it has been in my life until recently, which really does not give me a good outlook for my future mental health.

I really couldn't honestly explain my self-injury reasons. Sometimes it happens when I am numb, extremely emotional, or moderately sad. It just pops in my head and the next thing I know the deed is done and I'm tracing my fingers over the wound, as what occured tonight.
As for ED's....I guess it wouldn't be appropriate for me to talk about it in this forum. It's all in my head anyway.

What's really sad is that I project a happy, confident, caring woman to everyone in my life. No one questions the scars or the fresh wounds. I am outspoken and kind to everyone who crosses my path. It would really be nice to have someone look me in the eye and call my bluff.

I am absolutely terrified to the point of panic attack of seeking help. The last time I even tried, I printed off the insurance papers and planned to do a walk-in at my campus facility. I made it out the door of my room and halfway down the sidewalk until I literally burst into sobbing tears. I came back and was ill the rest of the afternoon. The thought of it makes my hands tremble and my heart race.

I'm scared of being told it's all in my head and I'm doing it to myself, but maybe even moreso at the thought that I'm right and afraid to admit it?

Either way, I guess signing up for this place is better than nothing.

[InACorner]

((((((((((((((Fifth)))))))))))))))))

im sorry at the moment i cannot say much but let me welcome you to PC ...pm me anytime... i am so glad to meet you and hope you like it here

love, Inny

[bipolar_bear]

Welcome to PC. I am glad you found us as it seems that you are seeking support. I hope you find this site as supportive as so many of us here have.

SI is a coping mechanism when thigs get overwhelming. That can be either end of the spectrum. Sometimes to feel and sometimes to not feel so much.

I know I have a job and I don't think anyone even imagines that I SI. I wouldn't be surprised if that is true of many of the people on this forum.

I hope you find what you are looking for in PC. Take care.