[andyzero]

I'm new to posting on this forum. I just wanted your opinion on a new habit. I have a terrible time with insomnia but recently I have found a new way to settle down and get to sleep. My wife and I generally go to bed together and invariably I hear her fall asleep. I wait listening to the sound of her breathing looking into the dark and generally feeling bad. I've tried a variety of methods of getting to sleep. Now I've found that I am actually starting to relax when I start to think of ways to injure or torture myself. I haven't followed through with any of these because they are just to elaborate and I am actually trying to stop SI. Why do I become so relaxed when I think of these terrible things? Some of these imaginings even involve suicide (which I will not do because of my personal beliefs regarding it). In the past I would fall asleep by 3:00 and get up around 6:00; now I get to sleep around 1:00. Sometimes I may even dream some of my imaginings. I don't understand why I do this... I should be counting sheep not counting cuts. Any ideas, comments?

[CANDC]

I think imaging self harm is dangerous and risky behavior. Whatever we perform in our mind repeatedly becomes more hypnotically fascinating.

I use this to relax.
Breathing exercise - breath naturally do not force it.
If you are feeling very anxious or angry or just want to calm down, you can try a breathing exercise that takes the attention away from the trigger of anxiety to a simple tool of counting breaths.

Find a comfortable position seated or laying down. Begin to relax your breathing. Silently count 1 on the inhale, and two on the exhale. Then silently count 3 on the inhale and 4 on the exhale. Continue up to 10 or until you lose the count then return to one. No judgement. I sometimes end up at 18 then smile and return to 1. The idea is to focus on the breath and the counting and not get sucked into the anxiety or anger trigger. Also works to quiet the mind.

I have to watch what I eat because foods I eat can stabilize my moods or exaggerate them. A high protein low carb diet with snacks or meals every 3-4 hours will over time reduce my swings. I also avoid alcohol and recreational drugs because those can really increase depression.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, calm music, and being active on Psych Central.

Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems though still there are more manageable.

Glad you are joining us here. There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central.

Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[Fizzyo]

Hi I sometimes catch myself fanaticising about extreme self injury or even just my usual habits. It can seem satisfying, but I feel it ends up being more disturbing and normalises an addiction I am trying to kick so I try to avoid it when thinking sensibly. I also recommend breathing in a soothing way or grounding myself in a safe room by concentrating bit by bit on feeling the support of the bed on chair I am on and slowly checking out my body for aches/pains and comfortable/ok sensations. I will then concentrate on the most comfortable part of my body and how it feels to be comfortable while also feeling the supporting surface under me,reminding myself that I'm safe. If I've escalated too far for that, I get up, do something quiet and distracting and, if necessary phone a helpline, returning to bed when I'm ready for the above to work. I hope you can find a more helpful substitute to your fantasies to help you sleep. What you fantasise about may well end up as what you do.

[ProRunner36]

Hmm..sound similar to what happens to me.

Sometimes when I'm trying to fall asleep, thoughts of my military experience creep in. I used to push them away because they're always decidedly violent and aggressive thoughts so I don't associate them with falling asleep... I don't want to get specific, but it involves me taking a 700 yard precision kill shot from a rooftop hide. Very clear memory of this, very detailed thoughts that creep in.

When I let the memory play out, it's actually kind of relaxing. Odd, it seems.

EDIT: As soon as I posted this, the answer kind of popped into my head. I think the relaxing feeling comes from the "control" aspect of it. Same as with self-harm. It's not innately relaxing, but the associated feeling of control is. Make sense? Hope it does/helps a little.

what's sleep again?

seriously... don't get it at all

Originally Posted by ProRunner36

Hmm..sound similar to what happens to me.

Sometimes when I'm trying to fall asleep, thoughts of my military experience creep in. I used to push them away because they're always decidedly violent and aggressive thoughts so I don't associate them with falling asleep... I don't want to get specific, but it involves me taking a 700 yard precision kill shot from a rooftop hide. Very clear memory of this, very detailed thoughts that creep in.

When I let the memory play out, it's actually kind of relaxing. Odd, it seems.

EDIT: As soon as I posted this, the answer kind of popped into my head. I think the relaxing feeling comes from the "control" aspect of it. Same as with self-harm. It's not innately relaxing, but the associated feeling of control is. Make sense? Hope it does/helps a little.

if you don't mind me asking, which branch of the military were you in?