[MsAmbrosia]

I'm a 23 year old female who has dealt with self harm for a little over ten years now. This is a habit (addiction? hobby?) that progressed to extremes for a while and then slowly fell back to less severe. These extremes have left my left arm covered in thick, thin and raised scars from the crick to the palm as well as my upper legs and stomach. I stopped cutting my body in visible places (arms, shoulders...etc) a little over three years ago when I met my SO. I think about hurting myself almost every day but give in only rarely. I miss the feelings but am very aware that it's not something I need to be doing. I work in a business consulting position and the last thing I need is clients wondering how stable an adult professional who cuts herself is. Not that the scars don't already give that answer away.

I guess what I'm getting at is how does everyone else cope? I worry that I am the only person who has brought this problem with me into adulthood. Perhaps everyone else turns 21 and goes, "Oh! It's time to graduate college and be an adult. No more childish coping mechanisms for me!". I worry that someday I'm going to crack again and add more scars to an arm that hasn't seen such things in years and I will be the only one.
Also, If anyone else has very visible scars, how do you deal with this in a professional setting?

You are certainly not alone in this. Age doesn't really make a difference. I'm 26 and still having issues.

I have very visible scars but have always kept them covered up. I wear long sleeves all year round, sometimes people question that but I figure it would be worse if I had my scars on show.

[-Astral-]

Av been self injurying since the age of 13 i am nearly 40
Am covered in scars all over me ...its gotten so bad that av had to get my husband to hide the tools that i use and even then i still self injure with the knifes in the house my husband also use to self injure but stopped years ago
he been doing well but for some reason i cant stop myself
even though i have scars ...i still self injure sometimes its feels scary with out self injuring its a way you cope when you have no other ways to cope

[ThisWayOut]

Originally Posted by -Asphyxia-

Av been self injurying since the age of 13 i am nearly 40
Am covered in scars all over me ...its gotten so bad that av had to get my husband to hide the tools that i use and even then i still self injure with the knifes in the house my husband also use to self injure but stopped years ago
he been doing well but for some reason i cant stop myself
even though i have scars ...i still self injure sometimes its feels scary with out self injuring its a way you cope when you have no other ways to cope

Same here, for about the same time-frame... until you figure out a better coping system, or you get to the root of why you self injure (or both), I doubt it magically disappears...

[Idler]

I still struggle with it, though the gaps between incidents are longer nowadays. But every once in a while something happens, still.

[Fuzzybear]

[artnom]

I'm in my 30s and still struggle with this. I think for me the level of self-harm has changed and I've become better at coping in general, but there are still times when it's the only thing that "works". There isn't a switch when you become an adult unfortunately

[glitterbutterfly]

I'm 21 and I've been dealing with it for around 4 years.

I am probably the youngest self harmer on here

i first took a blade to my skin when I was 9 (had a short break),, then went back to it and started doing it all the time- i'm in my 20's and i'm still having issues

[TaintedLove]

I'm 34 and having such a hard time stopping. I'll do well for 1-2 months and then I'll get mad or hurt and it's almost like a reflex. I fear that I have the tools but sometimes I just don't want to use them. It's a work in progress.

[Turtleboy]

Originally Posted by TaintedLove

I'm 34 and having such a hard time stopping. I'll do well for 1-2 months and then I'll get mad or hurt and it's almost like a reflex. I fear that I have the tools but sometimes I just don't want to use them. It's a work in progress.

i'm the same age and have struggled in a similar way, big hugs to you all

i've managed not to sh for about 6 months now, i have no advice for the op about the professional setting, i am quite badly scarred too, i hope you guys can get past this (and me too for that matter)

[TaintedLove]

Hi turtleboy, if I may ask, how have you managed to not cut for 6 months? Any suggestions are helpful! ��

[OneLove92]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

I am probably the youngest self harmer on here

i first took a blade to my skin when I was 9 (had a short break),, then went back to it and started doing it all the time- i'm in my 20's and i'm still having issues

I started at the same age as you, 9 and im now 24 and struggle with it still more then id like to admit.

[coyoteugly11]

I started SI when I was still in single digits and I am now 50. This is the first forum/site/group that I have found with adult sufferers and I almost cried with relief to find I was not alone as most places are geared towards adolescents.
My SI comes out at times of stress, emotional upset etc, I have gone years with out cutting and them whammo it is back. It is back now and it is the worst it has ever been. Thanks to this forum I have not succumbed to the urges for 1 week today

[Aardwolf]

You are not alone. There are many adults, most of whom you may well know, that still self harm. As we get older we become better at hiding it from everyone else.

Like any addiction, i don't believe it will ever go away. Even to this day I still occasionally loose my control, though it is much less now.

As said - You are NOT alone !

I used to self harm almost every day. I haven't self harmed for about 13 months now.

I started when I was 5, by beating myself with the flyswatter as punishment. I'm now 19 and I'm 7 months 2 days clean.

[passionfruit3]

I accept who I am I don't cover up I clawed into my arm a few weeks bag at the Dr but it's healing and my parents now turn the oven off at night which helps me stop burning

[passionfruit3]

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

I accept who I am I don't cover up I clawed into my arm a few weeks bag at the Dr but it's healing and my parents now turn the oven off at night which helps me stop burning

I meant er and im 24

[MtnTime2896]

Early twenties here: I go through slumps when I hurt myself again. It's not something that ever just goes away. As you can see from everyone on this thread, age doesn't seem to matter on this subject. You can't grow out of an addiction, you can only go into remission and work like hell not to relapse.

[Mike_J]

I didn't start SI until I was in my 40s, so it's not just a thing for kids or teenagers. And I have a few very visible scars (hands and arms) they have never really come up at work, but I'm sure people have wondered a bit at times. Especially when I had bright blue stitches on my arm.

[just2b]

tattoos to cover

[PlainJaneDoe]

I am 34 and I need alternatives. I hurt myself when I get angry or frustrated with myself. I need to stop before I permanently damage myself. I am too ashamed to tell anyone. I don't know what to do.

[notz]

The skin on my right hand is permanently deformed from hitting hard surfaces. It looks worse and worse every year. I wish it looked better than it does, but that's not going to change.

Crazy as it sounds, I picked up a pick ax and shovel instead and dug holes in the yard, a regular ax to chop wood and a sledgehammer to pound a splitting iron into logs for firewood. There was an element of danger to it that I loved but I beat the everloving crap out of the dirt and the wood! Other than a few unintentional blisters, I never hurt myself while doing that very physical alternative.

The physical exertion is good for the endorphin release. That's a great way to combat the self hurt. Running, bicycle, push ups, weights, any of that interest you?

[Cleo6]

I started when I was 12 and still do it now and I'm 33. I stopped when I was pregnant with my oldest who's 11 as I felt bad doing it pregnant. I started again 8 years ago just after I split up with my ex and he would harass me sexually it was my way of releasing it. I finally told my t for the first time last session that I do this and I felt like she judged me for it