[Electric76]

Possible trigger warning? Don't know how to hide.

Ok I don't want the convo to be about the relapse but mainly about how I tell T. I've been seeing her for over a year for an entirely different reason. We have been going more into my self harm for a few weeks. I realize how little I remember about why and the feelings around doing it, and I'm realizing how much it probably stems from attachment although I am baffled/fascinated by how this fits in with my story.

Well, just as sessions were getting a bit disregulating on its own, there were 3 different events that triggered some deep attachment wounds outside of therapy. Talked about it in therapy the day after, also said I am sooo curious to see what it would feel like now just to make a teensy mark...but I would never! I meant that. However 2 days later I did. Mostly for the curiosity and self exploration. Last session I was crying for not remembering details and desperately wanting to understand my past self. Now I have finally pieced lots of pieces together. Awful way about doing it but thats how *I* learn. I have it written in my journal so I don't forget this time (lol...)

I'm frightened about telling my therapist, worried about triggering her (incase she has a cutting history too), or having her blame herself for what she did/didn't do last session, or calling my emergency contact (she's in private practice so dont think she is required necessarily?)

I don't want to freak her out or put her in a position that requires breaking confidentiality. I just want to process all my aha moments that occurred (oh yeah and also be honest with her lol)

[random_emotion]

Are you older than 18? Because if you are I wouldn't get too concerned about her calling your emergency contact. I am unsure of a situation that would cause her to break confidentiality unless you or someone else's life is in imminent danger. I think I would tell her. But ultimately it is up to you.