[Miamon]

I was at therapy today with my mom in the room and we were talking about my self harm. I was defending myself because my mom was upset that I cut a few days before family came over and I guess I didn't do a good enough job hiding it. So I was saying how it wasn't even that big of a deal and my therapist said that I was right, since I obviously wasn't cutting deep enough to cause myself harm that there was no problem with me continuing to do it. And my mom just agreed!! She started talking about how deep she used to cut and how my cuts were "barely scratches" and idk I should feel relieved that they're off my case but I just feel like the biggest piece of crap in the world. Shouldn't they be at least trying to stop me? And I know it's not a competition at all but it really bothered me that they downplayed my problems just because my mom's were worse

In a way, it's understandable that they are less immediately concerned about stopping when your self harm isn't dangerous. But that your self harm isn't very dangerous has nothing to do with the severity of your troubles, and you deserve help and you deserve to be taken seriously.

If you would like help in stopping self-harming, tell your therapist so. They should listen. If not, you might consider (consider! I'm not telling you to or not to, just telling you to realize it might be an option) finding another therapist.

[smmath]

I wish that session had gone differently for you. I don't think downplaying your struggles and comparing them to your mom's was an effective choice on their part. Your pain matters. Your self harm matters. It doesn't matter if there are no marks on your skin or are very severe. Self harm is an issue and you deserve help.

It's perfectly understandable that you feel the way you do. Would you feel comfortable telling your therapist and mother how you feel? I think it's very important that you have the chance to work on coping skills and why you want to hurt yourself.

I wish you the best. Feel free to message me if you ever want to talk!