[Diai]

I'm not even sure this is the right place to post it, but here it goes.
I lost my clean streak yesterday. How much? Two weeks, maybe three. I can't remember how many times I had to stop myself of reaching for the instruments that play this stained song. But yesterday I just couldn't take it anymore, and I lost it. I'm trying to stay clean, one second at a time, but it seems the whole world is against it.
I just wonder, is it even worth it to fight the urge?
Every time I think it is getting better, everything goes down right before my eyes. Each time is worse.
Will it ever get better, or is this song the only caring sound that will ever play?

[AmandaBroken]

Originally Posted by Diai

I'm not even sure this is the right place to post it, but here it goes.
I lost my clean streak yesterday. How much? Two weeks, maybe three. I can't remember how many times I had to stop myself of reaching for the instruments that play this stained song. But yesterday I just couldn't take it anymore, and I lost it. I'm trying to stay clean, one second at a time, but it seems the whole world is against it.
I just wonder, is it even worth it to fight the urge?
Every time I think it is getting better, everything goes down right before my eyes. Each time is worse.
Will it ever get better, or is this song the only caring sound that will ever play?

You have already proven your ability, not to Self-Harm. Now just pick yourself up and start again. I have done the same often. One day up the next day down. You are not alone. Do you want to talk? Feel free to contact me by PM or we can do a private chat. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please be Safe...

Amanda

[donnaalonso]

Everything will be fine soon.

[TaintedLove]

So it's baby steps and one day at a time until you notice how much time you've been putting together and you've been living recovery