[_Hope_]

i just don't get it. as a society why do we care about the quantity of life and not so much the quality of life.

if i were to hurt myself society would then step in whether i want them to or not. I would be locked up and treated similarly to a prisoner. But NO i am trying not to hurt myself. I am trying to be safe. So what do i get. I get shunned by society for being abnormal. I have to fight the insurance harder than someone who has an easily recognizable and easily treatable disease, yet i lack the emotional stamina to do so. It is harder for me to get a job and to keep a job than someone who is healthy. I have pain everyday both physical and emotional.

so really think about it am i better off having been born into such a wonderful society and country, or would i have been better off having been born into some third world country where i would have a hard physical life and then die young of natural causes. At least in a 3rd world country i wouldn't know what i am missing. i wouldn't have to look across the street to see every good thing available and know i will never have it .

why will society step in to ensure i have a long depressing life but will not step in to see that i have a healthy life. why will i get locked up for trying to end my sufferring but not helpful hand out of my sufferring.

I just don't get it.

linda

[Direction]

I hear you...it seems unless you say the "s" word you really don't get anywhere here...

Is your insurance carrier denying? what reasons? maybe a different "code" would be better suited...

I'm not a T or an expert in any way ... SI...is seen in Emotional Intensity Disorder (or better known right now as BPD...Borderline Personality Disorder)

Are you talking with a therapist (T)? Not that its fun getting "labeled" if that is what it takes to get the support you need...it is worth exploring...

[_Hope_]

therapy? is there such a thing. I had a therapist once upon a time then he got a better job, the next one i didn't like so much but it didn't matter because my ins changed,and wouldn't cover her. the next one moved out of state. the next one changed jobs out of the field. then i lost my ins. but that was ok because the hospital said i qualify for free care, then 8 months later said i didn't because i had insurance (which i didn't) so not only did they bill me for each visit but double billed me for the same visits, one 20-30 min appointment cost $55 for the therapy session and then because we talked about my meds they billed me $85 for that. I tried fighting the bill but after a year and half, the finally told me i had to take it up with the therapist and she would have to cancel the bills,and the collections office couldn't help me with that. Oh and let's not forget the wonderful Dr that while i was in lock down would threaten me with continued incarceration if i didn't bow down to kiss his shoe. (that was dr. nestlebaum who i heard is moving up the ranks to a higher position in Boston MA)

all part of why i just don't get it.
Linda

<font color="#000088">I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that they don't get it either! They don't really understand what your suffering is, they try to,or pretend to! But in reality, a lot of these hospitals are about money, and billing insurance companies, and usually the better insurance you have, the better quality of care you recieve! It sucks, but that's how some hospitals work. They do have County facilities, that will take people that don't have insurance, but the quality of care really sucks. It is like a lock-up almost, but a little better. But like they say, you pay for what you get, quality! The hospitals don't like to take uninsured patients, but if they have to, they will, by law, if you are an immediate threat they kindof have to, or if you are in need of immediate medical attention, they can't turn you away! But I know the system sucks for people with the same proplem that we have, that self-injure. Hospitals don't really appreciate patients that come in from self-injuries! I know,I used to work at a hospital! I heard what they would say behind closed doors, and it really hurt, because they didn't know that I was a cutter! But the truth is, they just don't get it! That's the reality of it! They don't understand what is going on inside of us, and they never will,so they will treat us like freaks! It's not right, and I'm so sorry your having to deal with all that crap they put you through. I wish it were easier for all of us! But atleast we understand, and we get it!

All my support,if you need anything, don't hesitate to PM! </font>

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Linda ))))))))))))))))

I am starting a huge battle against my local hospital for this crap. Nurses and docs treating me like a nobody. Automaticaly sticking mentally ill labled patients in suclusion even if they are there for a real medical problem (I mean not mental illness related, I hope no one takes that the wrong way). I have the local NAMI office backing me up and supporting me. They know that there needs to be a change in that ER. They already made the police department take classes in how to deal with the mentally ill. I am so glad for that.

[Fuzzybear]

NO ONE is a nobody!!! I feel very storngly about that!!!

[Direction]

There is a program called "STEPPS" that is specifically geared to Emotional Intensity Disorder current known as Borderline Personality Disorder.

I'm in a 2hr per week course that meets 20 weeks...I've talk to someone else here that is taking something similar...just a thought as you Mention no success directly with a "T"

[_Hope_]

thanks for the info. i will look into it. lately i just read as many self-help books and articles as i can, so far this site has been a real good resource for me .

Linda

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
twirls01 said:
I am starting a huge battle against my local hospital for this crap. Nurses and docs treating me like a nobody. Automaticaly sticking mentally ill labled patients in suclusion even if they are there for a real medical problem (I mean not mental illness related, I hope no one takes that the wrong way). I have the local NAMI office backing me up and supporting me. They know that there needs to be a change in that ER. They already made the police department take classes in how to deal with the mentally ill. I am so glad for that.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
<font color="#000088">See, I know exactly what your talking about Twirls01! The ER here where I live does the same thing. Once they've seen you for a self-inflicted injury, or a suicide attempt. You're automatically labeled to them, as a mental patient for good! Even if you are just there for a medical reason some day, they still look at you, and treat you like a mental patient! They don't believe half of what you say, they automatically think you're some kind of hypochondriac or something if you get sick. They don't realize that the Mentally Ill get sick to! It really bothers me also! I went in one day for vomiting blood, and they didn't even treat me,or examine me, and just sent me home. Then sent a ER report to my Primary Dr. saying that my exam was normal! I was like WHAT EXAM? Ofcourse they didn't believe me,it was my word agains't a respected ER Doc.! So they did nothing! They were lucky it wasn't serious!

But now you see what I mean bpdsufferer, they don't get it either!</font>

[Rapunzel]

I agree with you, Linda. I'll take quality over quantity any time. I have never wanted a long life. And sometimes I think that life in another time or another place where everyone around you was pretty much equal, and they shared, and worked together, and everyone did the best they could, would be a lot more satisfying than this modern world where we all struggle to keep up and have more stuff than we'll ever use, but we don't share it like we could either. And even if we do try to share, nobody wants it because if it isn't brand new it's not as good as what somebody else has. Stuff that people in other times and places would be thrilled to have, we just throw away.

Insurance is supposed to help us get care that we might not have access to otherwise, but they are mostly concerned with keeping their costs down, so our costs keep going up and we get less, (quantity and quality) for it.

What can we do to let 'them' know what is really important? What can we do to help ourselves? We aren't alone in feeling this way. If we combine efforts with others, we can more easily be heard. And we can make a statement through our actions. I don't get the insurance offered through my job, because they exclude mental health. Fortunately, my husband's job has better insurance. I almost went looking for a new job when I found out about the insurance, even so. But I'll change jobs soon enough. How can we help ourselves and each other to have happier and healthier lives? There is a lot we can do.

Rap

[_Hope_]

i think that is one of the things that bothers me most. not being believed or worse having the so called professionals treat you badly because they know no one will believe a mental patient or a Dr

thanks for all your input into this tread, it has helped my understanding of things.

Linda