[Bookworm257]

So, I've always been good at not yelling at my parents or anything like that when I'm angry, but I used to hit myself above the knee when I was angry. I wouldn't do it hard, but I would do it repeatedly, moving my fist up and down fast. Well, yesterday I started doing it, but for a different reason. I was angry, but at myself. I was in a depressive state, and I felt pathetic, worthless, and not good enough, and I was angry at myself for that, so went to the backyard where I was alone, and started hitting myself just above the knee. Harder this time. I did it because I felt I deserved it for being a pathetic loser. Does anyone else hit themselves?

My ex used to hit himself as a way to self-injure when feeling angry/frustrated. It is a form of self-injury and an unhealthy coping mechanism, just like cutting. I recommend coming up with a list of healthy activities you can do instead of harming yourself, such as exercise, taking a relaxing bath, colouring, listening to music, playing a computer game, etc. Whenever you feel the urges come on, look at the list and choose something to do. The urges should pass eventually. Talking about it to someone can help as well. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat/vent.

As a young child I used to hit myself and took it a lot further by taking a knife to my stomach swearing I was going to kill myself. I think it's because of self hate, at least for me it was.

[Bookworm257]

Originally Posted by unreality

As a young child I used to hit myself and took it a lot further by taking a knife to my stomach swearing I was going to kill myself. I think it's because of self hate, at least for me it was.

Yeah, I tried cutting a few times this past month. I want to stop though so my parents don't find out.

[Teddy Bear]

When I was a teenager I did some cutting to be cool. I was trying to understand my cutting friends instead of trying to help them ��.

[Bookworm257]

Originally Posted by Teddy Bear

When I was a teenager I did some cutting to be cool. I was trying to understand my cutting friends instead of trying to help them ��.

You shouldn't do it to be "cool" or try to understand your friends. Unless you have enough stress in your life that the only relief is to distract yourself with your own blood, or you feel so bad you believe you deserve it, you will never truly understand. So don't do it to understand your friends.

When I was young (5-ish) I used to spank myself with the flyswatter when I felt I'd done something to deserve it.

I've done this most of my life. I started at a really young age to cope with my mother always trying to control my life. I was very intelligent and manipulative as a child and as such, I learned at a young age that the best way to hurt my mother while ensuring that I would get off as easy as possible was to hurt her "precious little boy" I.E her supply which was no other than yours truly. I knew that if I physically attacked her with a weapon like I had thoughts of doing more than once, I would get in a lot more trouble, yet, I wouldn't do as much damage as I did attacking her emotionally by hurting myself.

My way of getting back at her for her having pills shoved down my throat and having me locked up against my will was to brutally beat myself and bite chunks of flesh out of my arms in front of her to hurt her. All I ever was to her was somebody for her to control and use but she would get so upset when I did that to myself which made self harming worth it to me.

As an adult, I still do things like this to myself all be it only when I am overwhelmed with life or angry at people for rejecting me or otherwise not helping me. I do these types of things more as a way of self loathing or punishing myself for being a screw up than anything else these days.

[random_emotion]

Yes sometimes I hit myself other times i burn or cut.

[frantic167]

I remember when I was first inpatient as a young teenager, there wasn't really any simple quick way to cut so instead I developed the habit of hitting myself hard on my head with my fists I definitely can relate . I too did it when I was angry at myself for something and felt I deserved it (much like cutting)

mostly cutting here.

I asked myself recently.. when you hurt yourself, do you do it because you want the pain, or do you do it because you want the blood?

cklearly for me, as I found out, I do it because I want the blood.

so hitting's not really affective for me.

sometimes though I strangle myself.

put both hands around my kneck and squeeze

produces a pretty satisfying sick feeling