[itsbeenalongtime]

I have been cutting my face (side of nose, chin but mainly right under my nose above my lip) for a long long time basically every day. Always started with a small pimple etc and then i pick and tear with tweezers and fingers to "get rid of it" in my mind.
For over 15 years it is the area under my nose, above my lip. As I am 60, that area is/was getting wrinkled so it looks even worse after my constant "tweezing". It started with the left side and then somehow I managed to stop there when the right side got a pimple and I went at it. It has been about 7-8 years now on that one area. It gets so bad I have told people I got skin cancer removed at least a dozen times and "it keeps coming back". I cannot tell anyone i know because they would think I'm nuts and I am a professional at work and need to retain that reputation. My family thinks you just need to suck up everything and use mind over matter. They do not believe in depression, OCD etc etc. I have treated for major depression and ADD (currently Wellbutrin, Xanex . Adderall and some other anti psychotic I cannot recall this second) but no one knows it. My doctor is kind of a quack but he gets me my meds so Im ok with it.
He usually only wants to talk about issues with his ex so I just say everything is fine and just keep the same meds. I cover up with makeup but with scabs etc I'm sure people are wondering what the heck is going on but no one asks. Its getting worse. I spend up to 6 hours a day (sometimes until 4 am) just continuing to pick/cut my face. I live alone and find myself losing all my friends because I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone. My father just passed away a year ago (mom has been gone for 30 years) and the family dissipated. I really am losing hope,.

(((((itsbeenalongtime))))) it's not an easy thing to stop, I know

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you feel as though you are losing hope. Hopefully being here on PC can be of some comfort & support. You mentioned you're 60. I'm 70! My circumstances are different from yours. For one thing I'm now retired (as opposed to being under 65 when I was just unemployed.) I'm also not completely alone since I'm still married. (Her accomplishment not mine.) However, otherwise, I live a pretty-much entirely reclusive lifestyle.

I no longer see a psychiatrist or a therapist. I liked the psychiatrist I used to see. And I wouldn't say he was a quack. But he was pretty nonchalant about the whole process. The good thing was, since he really didn't much care about anything one way or the other, he'd give me whatever psych medication I wanted to take. (But, at the same time, he also never pushed me to take anything I didn't want.) It became sort-of a small problem though in that any time I would mention some problem or other I was experiencing, he'd be right there offering a medication he could prescribe. I think I could have been on a whole laundry list of psych med's if I had wanted to be. But I chose not to go that route.

Cutting your face must be so difficult for you. It's such a visible area & being that you're a professional at work, that must make it doubly difficult. I can understand your comment about people wondering but not asking. My experience is that, in most cases, people would really rather not know. I still have a few little compulsive things I do. At my age, I've just decided it's not worth worrying about. Fortunately it's all stuff I can keep to myself. I think it's an anxiety thing. My experience, at least, has been that the older I have gotten, the more difficulty I have with generalized anxiety.

[SlumberKitty]

In my experience, its really hard to stop self harming. I believe it can be done. I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it. It must be hard because it is on your face. I've cut my temple before, mostly in an attempt to stop the excruciating migraines (didn't work by the way) but that's about it. My then therapist kind of really got on me about cutting my temple. I'm not sure but the way you described it sort of sounds like an OCD thing. I have a nephew with OCD and it used to be really difficult for him to control his behaviors. Oddly enough he found a lot of relief by doing karate. It helped him find some inner balance. Just thought I would throw that out there. Maybe it would help.