[sinking]

Its since im here IP that i keep having visions of myself cutting

Possible trigger:

my leg and bloody everywhere and it all being a mess.

I did two small cuts but just to alleviate the real urge. I still have it and dont know what to do. Theres nobody here to talk to and im all alone with my urges and thoughts

What do i do?

[Skeezyks]

You're in-patient... but there's no one you can talk to? I've been in-patient twice in the past. And neither time was a great experience. But there were people I could have talked to if I had needed to / chosen to. (I didn't any more than necessary because I wanted to get out as soon as possible & I didn't want to give them any reason to try to keep me.)

I really think talking to someone is the way to go here. But if there really is just no one you can talk to, what I would do in that type of situation would be to compassionately abide with my thoughts. I would sit with them, breathe into them, smile to them & perhaps even place a hand over my heart as a sign of lovingkindness & compassion for them. Then, after a few moments, I would let go of the particular thoughts themselves & simply continue to sit with whatever emotions underlie the thoughts be they sadness, regret, fear, whatever.

Compassionate abiding is a Buddhist practice. But there is a nice mental-health-oriented description of the practice on the web. It's possible I've linked you to this in the past. But either way, here it is now:

Relieve Distress By Allowing It: Compassionate Abiding 101 | Mindset: Perspective Is Everything

I do really think it would be best if you could talk with someone about the thoughts you're struggling with. But if there really just is no one you can talk to, perhaps the practice of compassionate abiding can be of some help. Also... here are links to 2 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that offer tips on how to handle difficult emotions. Perhaps they may be of some help too:

How to Sit with Painful Emotions

Use This DBT Skill to Manage Your Emotions and Enhance Your Life

Please take care...

[sinking]

No, there is no one i can trust enough to talk about this with anyone here but today i saw my outside T and it helped. Not to refrain from doing it but to have shared it with someone irl.

Today im going out, a week off from work and then life and torture begins again....

[SlumberKitty]

I'm glad you saw your outside T. I hope you feel better soon.

[Fuzzybear]