telling dr (?)

This is something I've been struggling with as well - I have an apnt this monday and the pressure was on to NOT cut since I haven't told her and she's doing a blood draw on me then. Well, Thanksgiving happened and Black Friday since I work in the mall. i was so anxious about working the store the day after that not only did i not sleep at all, but i cut in the middle of the night to try and end the anxiety. Oh, black friday was today huh? man it feels like yesterday already. anyway - the point is that now i have 10 cuts on my arm and i really don't want her to know. I can either try to give the (rather grouchy) tech the "unmarked" arm and demand that she not see the other one. i can can let her see it and allow her to inform my dr. Or i can just tell my dr. I suppose i could just cancel, but i really trust my dr and it would be another month before i could get in again.
I like that the following post was made (sorry, forgot who already, maybe perna?)

Quote:
But it will be important to be prepared to answer questions like:

How often you do it?
Have you ever needed medical attention as a result?
Do you have a therapist?
Are you trying to stop?
Have you thought about / are you suicidal?
How long have you been doing it?
Why do you do it?

end quote
But the questions, i really don't want to have to face. yes i trust my dr, but i like the image of me that she has - it is far better than the real one. =( kiya

I would give the "grouchy" tech your unmarked arm and let her deal with it. Its really none of her business. But you should talk to your doc about it and show her.

It might be easier to let the tech see your arm and her tell the doc but it would be much better if your were the one to confide in your doctor. The questions are hard, but you need to face them anyway, to yourself, even if you didn't tell your doctor. But the conversation will be much different, and easier, if you bring it up rather than the doctor finding out from a tech and then asking you about it.

If you bring it up openly with your doc i don't think her oppinion of you will suffer. I think she will see how brave you are to face the situation and seek her help. Be brave Kiya, you are in my prayers.

The good questions are not mine :-( I think I might try a stonewall approach? I'd give whomever whichever arm they wanted and they could say/tell/comment/whatever to whomever they wanted (since I can't stop other people thinking/saying/doing what they want :-) and if I got questions, I'd merely say "Thank you for your concern, but I don't wish to talk about this at this time." What is anyone going to do? You're self-possessed and they aren't deep/infected (I hope) so there's nothing for a medical doctor to do? It's not against the law to pierce, tattoo, SI, etc., I would treat it as my business and give them "the" look if they tried to pursue it.

Contrasting posts - love it ...Ah the questions are from Split Image. Now that I think about it, when they check pulse, they always use the left arm - I'm gonna have to face this, huh. the marks start at the top of the wrist and go all the way down to the elbow... not real easy to hide when one's sleeve is up.
Trying to decide how - i mean, my usual reaction would be shame, but you're right (one of you said) this is me, this is who I am, it's not against the law (tho if one does it too badly one can be hospitalized against one's will) so it might actually be against the law under "hurting self" or "threat to self". or i could just ignore the tech and face my dr directly. Or i can act like it's not a big deal... if i can pull that off. I still have a day to think about it....
Thank you both for the posts.
kiya

(((((((((( Kiya ))))))))))))

I suppose what you do and say really comes down to which you want the most - to hide your problem and preserve the image that your doctor has of you (even though you don't feel that it accurately represents the real you), or to get help and support for your problem.

Are you ready to try to change? Would you like to have help getting ready to change? Are you satisfied with your life as it is? Having someone know the real you, including your struggles and faults, can be pretty uncomfortable, but I think that maintaining a false self is more uncomfortable in the long run. I think that's why it feels so good to come to PC and be able to drop those false outer images and be understood and accepted for ourselves. What if you could have that IRL too? It's up to you.

Rap