[FridayT]

What is the point of living anymore?
The whole world just exist to leech every god damn thing you have.
I have absolutely no money despite having work.
I have absolutely no food, but who cares right?
That $1.99 bread looks like $199, because why the **** should I be able to afford to eat?
I should ****ing kill myself.
There is no goodness in the world.
There is no compassion.
There’s just taxation, illegals, welfare recipients, wealthy CEOs and politicians scamming you.
Businesses leeching off your money behind your back before you realize too late.
You can’t afford a ****ing house or a car, you can’t ****ing enjoy a hobby or go places, you can’t do anything but be the world’s *****!
I don’t matter, I don’t exist except to be leeched off of and I’m just a selfish whiny loser who should just shut up and appreciate what he had.
What do I have? Nothing.
What is the point anymore?
I’m sick to death of seeing people flaunting their wealth around. It’s like rubbing it in my face; “Ha, ha I have money and you don’t.”
But I should just shut up and take it right? I should stop being selfish and “get a better job” or “go to college.”
I’m a white male, shouldn’t I be given CEO status and a mansion? Oh wait, that never works.
I never know what it’s like to have a middle-class income. I never know what it’s like to drive a car. I never know what it is like to have a promotion. I never know what it is like to save money and travel?
Just manage your expenses. Ok, sure. Let’s see, what have I spend my money on? Bills, food, and rent. That’s all. So what should I eliminate? Oh I know, food. I’ll just starve to death, because **** me, right? Oh, no bills. That’s alright, I can live without electricity, water or anything I need. Oh, how about rent? Sure, I can be homeless and live with the druggies, rapists and other criminals in the street and be treated just like them.
Why bother? I should just ****ing kill myself.
It’s not like I ever worked hard all my life or tried to do better for myself. It’s not like I hadn’t stopped eating to save nothing because it all goes to rent and food and thieves like LAVIDA ****ing MASSAGE that I never went for a year! It’s not like I don’t have dreams or goals. But why bother?

What, get friends and family… you’re cute. I never had friends and my family live all the way in Arizona and they themselves are suffering. I always prefer to be independent and never have to rely on anybody! But it seems like that’s never going to happen!
Social security administration demands I pay back money I cannot afford and have done nothing wrong but told them that I worked and gave them my pay stubs. But I was supposed to tell them to stop paying me. Anything to keep me forever in debt and in chains.
My landlord wants me to pay $647 in September. I could hardly pay $588 a month. There are no affordable places to live and what I am on is housing assistance with SHA which are the spawns of Satan!
So why should I bother living? I tried so hard! I never spent on anything fun! I never tried to get into drugs, alcohol or gambling. But why am I still being punished?! Oh that’s right; BABY BOOMERS! ILLEGALS! WELFARE!! TAXATION!!
I want to die.

[sarahsweets]

@FridayT:

Originally Posted by FridayT

There’s just taxation, illegals, welfare recipients, wealthy CEOs and politicians scamming you.

What do you mean by this?

I’m sick to death of seeing people flaunting their wealth around. It’s like rubbing it in my face; “Ha, ha I have money and you don’t.”

What constitutes flaunting in your book?

But I should just shut up and take it right? I should stop being selfish and “get a better job” or “go to college.”
I’m a white male, shouldn’t I be given CEO status and a mansion? Oh wait, that never works.

What does the color of your skin have to do with this?

Sure, I can be homeless and live with the druggies, rapists and other criminals in the street and be treated just like them.

Do you really believe the majority of homeless people are druggies and rapists?

So why should I bother living? I tried so hard! I never spent on anything fun! I never tried to get into drugs, alcohol or gambling. But why am I still being punished?! Oh that’s right; BABY BOOMERS! ILLEGALS! WELFARE!! TAXATION!!
I want to die.

Again, I do not understand what you mean by this.

[SlumberKitty]

I'm sorry you are hurting.

[FridayT]

There is nothing to explain. Nothing matters anymore.

I hope you are safe, friday T.

we like you here.

do you have any coping strategies you use when you feel like this? (that isn't SI)

keep us posted

[FridayT]

I manage to have some help with money and food so far, but my fear and anxiety is now more abundant. I'm tired of poverty.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by FridayT

I manage to have some help with money and food so far, but my fear and anxiety is now more abundant. I'm tired of poverty.

but you are not self-harming, right?

I hope you are finding some positive distractions