[Fuzzybear]

Everywhere (almost) I go, I am plagued by trolls and abusers

What is wrong with me that these people target me?

I hope it makes them feel good that I bleed

[MrsA]

Strange, I also get plagued with people all trying the same crap on me. In my case it's poeple I barely know trying to me convince I'm really ignorant and helpless and need their advice and protection.

Because I often get the same tesponse from virutal strangers, I keep wondering if people like me and @Fuzzybear are doing something that cues people to treat us badly.

But I never ask these people for help or comfide my problems to them, so I assume their behavior comes from some internal need of their own.

Do you mind sharing what abusers do and say? I often examine my own interactions to try to figure out if something is triggering undesirable behaviors or if I am inadvertantly looking weak and vulnerable.

[Fuzzybear]

People who have been abused in childhood have been told repeatedly by those who violated them that they are “weak”.. that does not make it the “truth”.

It could be that bullies are “weak” and tend to target those who have gifts they are jealous of... and they enjoy tossing out pejorative labels which in fact apply to THEM together with other forms of abuse, gaslighting etc.

[SlumberKitty]

HUGS @Fuzzybear

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Everywhere (almost) I go, I am plagued by trolls and abusers

What is wrong with me that these people target me?

I hope it makes them feel good that I bleed

But it does, Fuzzy, in a way. Your distress frightens them, and to relieve some of their fears, some people employ attack tactics. Haven't you noticed that happening in our society these days?

[MrsA]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

People who have been abused in childhood have been told repeatedly by those who violated them that they are “weak”.. that does not make it the “truth”.

Something I've been thinking of is that my parents made me believe certain behaviors are more normal than they really are. So I often put up with minor offenses from people out of pity or politeness and they mistake it as weakness.

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

It could be that bullies are “weak” and tend to target those who have gifts they are jealous of... and they enjoy tossing out pejorative labels which in fact apply to THEM together with other forms of abuse, gaslighting etc.

I also considered the envy factor because the bullies I encounter usually have no career or family and are quite isolated. Then they try to persuade me I am a failure and that I need their advice when they seemed to have mismanaged their own lives much worse.

And like I recently posted about my older sister yelling insults at me in a music class during college. At the time, I believed she thought I was inferior to her, but now she is complaining that I discouraged her from studying music when she was the one who was flinging insults when I was younger and less experienced. So I am suspecting more and more that bullies are just jealous and trying to hide it by keeping you on the defensive.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Everywhere (almost) I go, I am plagued by trolls and abusers

What is wrong with me that these people target me?

I hope it makes them feel good that I bleed

I'm sorry that you ever had to go experience that. I been through myself for three years. Never once ever thought it would happen to me. Remember these people are lonely and miserable and bored with their life. There probably someone in their life doing this to them.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by MrsA

Strange, I also get plagued with people all trying the same crap on me. In my case it's poeple I barely know trying to me convince I'm really ignorant and helpless and need their advice and protection.

Because I often get the same tesponse from virutal strangers, I keep wondering if people like me and @Fuzzybear are doing something that cues people to treat us badly.

But I never ask these people for help or comfide my problems to them, so I assume their behavior comes from some internal need of their own.

Do you mind sharing what abusers do and say? I often examine my own interactions to try to figure out if something is triggering undesirable behaviors or if I am inadvertantly looking weak and vulnerable.

I understand how you feel. This happened to me on YouTube.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

People who have been abused in childhood have been told repeatedly by those who violated them that they are “weak”.. that does not make it the “truth”.

It could be that bullies are “weak” and tend to target those who have gifts they are jealous of... and they enjoy tossing out pejorative labels which in fact apply to THEM together with other forms of abuse, gaslighting etc.

That is true.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I'm sorry that you ever had to go experience that. I been through myself for three years. Never once ever thought it would happen to me. Remember these people are lonely and miserable and bored with their life. There probably someone in their life doing this to them.

I think maybe they have issues with ''control''

none of us can control everything

I wish some of those people could forgive...

I have found some cannot forgive me for being human. it hurts

Also some people have been abused and yes... sometimes hurt people hurt people Its often unintentional...

I know I don't hurt anyone intentionally.

Some people may not be ''in touch with reality'' or have a lot of control issues

some people are quick to react to someone elses mistakes but overlook their own

Some people have been mislabelled, misjudged. It hurts

(not about anyone on pc)

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

I hear you, Fuzzy.

This sense of injustice plagues me, too.

If you don't mind me mentioning it, you were clearly treated so unfairly as a cub.

I know that in my (similar) situation, I sometimes burst into tears out of sheer frustration. There was no way to win, no matter what I did. Perhaps this is what you feel when you express the need for perfection in yourself?

Dear friend, nothing we could have done would have turned our care-givers into the trusted source of comfort and encouragement we so badly needed.

It's a tragedy, and I'm so sorry it happened to you.

Thank you for sharing more about your own experiences these last few days. I thought it was a good sign at first, but can now see that you're having a horrendous time.

Just so that you don't feel alone and exposed, I can say a little more about my own struggles with a sense of unfairness.

One of my bursting-into-tears moments happened when - despite my dad being the violent and frightening parent in our house - my very loving mum also turned on me.

His behaviour had driven her into a deep depression. I understand. The fault is his!

Nevertheless, it's a memory that still makes me cry because it was so unexpected and unwarranted.

It was school holidays, and I was pottering around our flat, minding my own business (age 8/9 or so... not sure), when my mum suddenly threw me out.

She was in a terrible state. A battered wife who felt totally at rock-bottom, scared, and trapped...

But throwing me out hurt me so much!

She was shouting that I needed to get out from under her feet, that sort of thing. But it came completely out of nowhere. I was shocked! Found myself outside, in the cold, without a coat! And having no choice but to walk away. To where? Nowhere!

It was humiliating. People could have seen us.

The worst part of all (this is the bit that always makes me tearful) is that she was pushing me hard in the back! Hitting me, really. Shoving me away from her, out into the world.

There'd been no argument!

I had to wander around town all day. Kept trying to find places to keep warm. But I was snivelling the whole time. Broken-hearted, really.

What hope is there for me, I thought, if even my mum can pick me up at any moment, drag me to the door and throw me out.

I was too young to be out alone in the city!

Fuzzy, I hope this isn't triggering for you and that it makes you feel a little less alone. When we have starts in life that are like this, what chance do we have?

Much love to you.

[Fuzzybear]

Thank you for sharing this dear Purple and for sharing your

much love to you

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

I hear you, Fuzzy.

This sense of injustice plagues me, too.

If you don't mind me mentioning it, you were clearly treated so unfairly as a cub.

I know that in my (similar) situation, I sometimes burst into tears out of sheer frustration. There was no way to win, no matter what I did. Perhaps this is what you feel when you express the need for perfection in yourself?

Dear friend, nothing we could have done would have turned our care-givers into the trusted source of comfort and encouragement we so badly needed.

It's a tragedy, and I'm so sorry it happened to you.

Thank you for sharing more about your own experiences these last few days. I thought it was a good sign at first, but can now see that you're having a horrendous time.

Just so that you don't feel alone and exposed, I can say a little more about my own struggles with a sense of unfairness.

One of my bursting-into-tears moments happened when - despite my dad being the violent and frightening parent in our house - my very loving mum also turned on me.

His behaviour had driven her into a deep depression. I understand. The fault is his!

Nevertheless, it's a memory that still makes me cry because it was so unexpected and unwarranted.

It was school holidays, and I was pottering around our flat, minding my own business (age 8/9 or so... not sure), when my mum suddenly threw me out.

She was in a terrible state. A battered wife who felt totally at rock-bottom, scared, and trapped...

But throwing me out hurt me so much!

She was shouting that I needed to get out from under her feet, that sort of thing. But it came completely out of nowhere. I was shocked! Found myself outside, in the cold, without a coat! And having no choice but to walk away. To where? Nowhere!

It was humiliating. People could have seen us.

The worst part of all (this is the bit that always makes me tearful) is that she was pushing me hard in the back! Hitting me, really. Shoving me away from her, out into the world.

There'd been no argument!

I had to wander around town all day. Kept trying to find places to keep warm. But I was snivelling the whole time. Broken-hearted, really.

What hope is there for me, I thought, if even my mum can pick me up at any moment, drag me to the door and throw me out.

I was too young to be out alone in the city!

Fuzzy, I hope this isn't triggering for you and that it makes you feel a little less alone. When we have starts in life that are like this, what chance do we have?

Much love to you.

[Travelinglady]

Please try not to listen to those folks who blame you, dear bear.

[MrsA]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

I hear you, Fuzzy.

This sense of injustice plagues me, too.

If you don't mind me mentioning it, you were clearly treated so unfairly as a cub.

I know that in my (similar) situation, I sometimes burst into tears out of sheer frustration. There was no way to win, no matter what I did. Perhaps this is what you feel when you express the need for perfection in yourself?

Dear friend, nothing we could have done would have turned our care-givers into the trusted source of comfort and encouragement we so badly needed.

It's a tragedy, and I'm so sorry it happened to you.

Thank you for sharing more about your own experiences these last few days. I thought it was a good sign at first, but can now see that you're having a horrendous time.

Just so that you don't feel alone and exposed, I can say a little more about my own struggles with a sense of unfairness.

One of my bursting-into-tears moments happened when - despite my dad being the violent and frightening parent in our house - my very loving mum also turned on me.

His behaviour had driven her into a deep depression. I understand. The fault is his!

Nevertheless, it's a memory that still makes me cry because it was so unexpected and unwarranted.

It was school holidays, and I was pottering around our flat, minding my own business (age 8/9 or so... not sure), when my mum suddenly threw me out.

She was in a terrible state. A battered wife who felt totally at rock-bottom, scared, and trapped...

But throwing me out hurt me so much!

She was shouting that I needed to get out from under her feet, that sort of thing. But it came completely out of nowhere. I was shocked! Found myself outside, in the cold, without a coat! And having no choice but to walk away. To where? Nowhere!

It was humiliating. People could have seen us.

The worst part of all (this is the bit that always makes me tearful) is that she was pushing me hard in the back! Hitting me, really. Shoving me away from her, out into the world.

There'd been no argument!

I had to wander around town all day. Kept trying to find places to keep warm. But I was snivelling the whole time. Broken-hearted, really.

What hope is there for me, I thought, if even my mum can pick me up at any moment, drag me to the door and throw me out.

I was too young to be out alone in the city!

Fuzzy, I hope this isn't triggering for you and that it makes you feel a little less alone. When we have starts in life that are like this, what chance do we have?

Much love to you.

@Purple,Violet,Blue Wow that is really shocking. My mon used to lock me out to teach me a lesson, but never that long and not during winter. My mom was a pretty awful person in other ways though. Over the years I stopped making excuses for her.

Her. When a mother claims to be a victim and uses it as an excuse to abuse their kids, they are also the bullies and not innocent parties.

I found it rather empowering to admit my mom was bad and hate her without guilt. I tried to preserve an image of her as a good person because she died when I was quite young, but it doesn't help to deny things that happened. I don't know what I would ahve done if my mom was still alive when I realized she was just as bad and as crimminal as her husband.

Is your mom still in your life?