[Jayne13]

Nights have been horrible for me lately. I get so depressed at night all I can do is cut myself. It’s too late to reach out to my therapist, and none of my friends would understand.

[codyrobi613]

I'm sorry to hear this I know it's hard, but your never alone. Is there something fueling your depression?

I don't know your friends but I've found people to be far more accepting than I could have hoped

[MuddyBoots]

If it's reliably at nights, maybe fill your time with something a bit more positive like drawing, exercising (early on though, no later than 6pm), self care, coming on here, listening to/playing music, or some other hobby you really like.
Do you have trouble sleeping or nightmares or anything of the sort that could be worked out to make your nights a bit better?
Maybe try talking to your friends too. It doesn't have to be about your urges, just anything to take your mind off of cutting.

[guy1111]

I used to cut and burn myself so I feel your pain.

I was listening to a podcast today, actually, and it mentioned a coping skill you might try.

They said, when you feel like self harming (or even any time you want to relax I guess) you could paint your finger nails. This passes the time and keeps your hands busy for a while.

I guess the fumes might make you sleepy too. Ha ha. Just kidding. Don't inhale fumes.

[quietlylost]

One idea would be to open a Google doc or something and write out your thoughts and feelings late at night in a letter to your therapist. Even though you can't talk to her/him, you can still express the thoughts. What are you feeling? What triggered you? Why do you want to cut? What kind of relief do you want? What will you feel after you cut? What are some of the other things you've tried? What are some things you plan to do with the rest of your night?

By writing things down it helps us process things. And, seeing it written out can sometimes be cathartic. If you want you can choose to share it later with your therapist in session. It can be a good way to practice distraction and distress tolerance.

You can also take steps to make sure you're not so alone at night with your thoughts and demons. Either by connecting online, engaging in games, or even trying to go somewhere like the grocery store, a restaurant, or just outside.

These are things that were helpful for me in my recovery. Good luck and best wishes.

[Fuzzybear]

[Fuzzybear]

Thinking of you and hoping things are better than when you posted this