advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Phrysca
Member
 
Phrysca's Avatar
Phrysca has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: San Francisco, California
Posts: 72
3 yr Member
4 hugs
given
Confused Jul 10, 2021 at 11:29 AM
  #1
I am 40 years old, and in all of my years, I barely found about cutting maybe about 15 years ago from a movie I watched. Just recently, like 6 years ago, I met someone who became a good friend that she did it. And about four years ago, I found out one of my nieces does it too. More recent, like in the last couple of months, I met someone else who does.

My question is how can I be more sensitive towards them because my natural instinct is want to tell at them or slap some sense into them, but... I know nothing about why, what, how... Anything? Any advice?
Phrysca is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty

advertisement
CANDC
Super Moderator
Community Support Team
Community Liaison
Chat Leader
 
CANDC's Avatar
CANDC has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,326 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
2,307 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 10, 2021 at 09:14 PM
  #2
Hi @Phrysca. I am sorry you feel difficulty having compassion for those that suffer from self injury SI thoughts and impulses. I find that learning more about the causes and physical and emotional environments that can lead to SI helps me understand more and want to listen and empathize with them.

This may be of interest
Myths and Facts About Self-Injury | Wellness | US News

@CANDC

__________________
Super Moderator
Community Support Team

"Things Take Time"
CANDC is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
Fuzzybear
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,301 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 12, 2021 at 03:58 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by CANDC View Post
Hi @Phrysca. I am sorry you feel difficulty having compassion for those that suffer from self injury SI thoughts and impulses. I find that learning more about the causes and physical and emotional environments that can lead to SI helps me understand more and want to listen and empathize with them.

This may be of interest
Myths and Facts About Self-Injury | Wellness | US News

@CANDC
Good post. I had replied to this earlier but deleted my post.


__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 12, 2021 at 04:03 PM
  #4
Hi.


Maybe it would help you to think of it as a coping mechanism. Because that is what it is. It isn't as healthy as say, exercising, but even that can be done to extreme. Some people drink. Some people do drugs. Some people exercise too much, or eat too little or spend too much money. Some people cut. It helps to deal with life. Endorphins are released and one feels better. I self harmed for 30 years. I am now in a position where I have almost 18 months clean. It is a personal triumph that I can say that. It is hard to stop. I don't think that yelling or slapping people would be a helpful response. Most people just want to feel heard, validated, listened to. What is it about cutting that makes you feel so uncomfortable about it? I am guessing you feel uncomfortable, you didn't specifically say. Cutting helps you feel better when you feel really crappy. But sometimes after you feel better, you feel worse. And sometimes people's responses to it can make you feel even more worse, which just sets off the cycle again.


Hope this is a helpful response. Glad you are trying to understand. HUGS Kit

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear
jai-jai
Member
 
jai-jai's Avatar
jai-jai The pain is always there, its how you live with it determines how you move forward.
 
Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 112
15 yr Member
53 hugs
given
Default Jul 13, 2021 at 12:31 AM
  #5
I really wish I had had support and someone listening to me. I used SI as a coping mechanism for about 10 years, and recently relapsed, due to being faced with trauma that has recently re-bounded. I was made to feel ashamed of it, it would have been amazing if I'd had someone there supporting me, reminding me that I shouldn't be ashamed of it, and helped me learn to cope in different ways. It can be an addiction. For me there was a mix of numbing the pain, and abusing my body, but also, feeling something, from all the numbness inside. A reminder that I was alive.

I think for everyone its different, its very personal and if they aren't yet comfortable talking about it, don't push it. But let them know you are there for them and you are coming from a safe, non-judgemental space. I would also say do some research there are a couple good websites and learn more about Self-Harm and its triggers etc. I think you are doing the right thing by asking questions. They are lucky to have you in their lives.

The only thing I didn't appreciate, was being told that they knew how I felt, and that it would be ok, it made me feel worse, and like it was impossible for me to achieve that space, so just having someone be there for me would have been way better, to listen.

__________________
If life was just ...
jai-jai is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:06 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.