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scatterbrained04
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Default Aug 06, 2021 at 05:24 PM
  #1
I quit smoking in March. And now I get urges to self harm a lot in instances were I'd maybe smoke cigarettes to cope with how I'm feeling. I'm bipolar, and have really only self harmed in bad mood episodes. However, I'm been stable for quite awhile now. My anxiety has been bad though. Anyone dealt with this? It's really driving me crazy. I have not self harmed, however.

My boyfriend of 3.5 years doesn't even know I'm struggling with self harm. I've been too ashamed to to tell him. Nobody knows I've struggled with it for 20+ years except my psychiatrist.

I guess I just needed to tell someone who'd understand.

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Default Aug 09, 2021 at 12:04 PM
  #2
Glad to hear you are stable and that you haven't self harmed in a while.

I can see how self harm would be attractive at times when you would used to smoke.


The thing I can suggest is to make a self care box. Use that whenever the urges come. Put fun stuff in it that you enjoy doing. Things that remind you of people you love. Soft things. Smell good things. Etc.


Also practice gratitude. When you have the urge to smoke or self harm make a quick mental list of things you are grateful for. It does help. It sounds silly but it does help change the mood around.


Wishing you the best, Kit

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Default Aug 14, 2021 at 09:18 AM
  #3
In my opinion, smoking is already a form of self harm as a way to cope, so I don't find this surprising. I have had similar experiences of changing the form of self harm, quitting one way and replacing it with another. I guess the key is finding a healthy replacement, maybe some form of mediation or catharsis like listening to music, prayer, talking to someone or writing about it.

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Default Aug 14, 2021 at 10:41 AM
  #4
Have you ever tried examining what self-harm does for you? What need does it satisfy, if only temporarily?

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Default Aug 14, 2021 at 04:23 PM
  #5
You know...I have thought about that. I think it's because I feel I deserve it, and because it calms me down. I'm thinking in this case it's more the calming down factor. I used to smoke for the same reason. I'm noticing I'm wanting to self harm sometimes when I'm really anxious. I don't know what to do instead of it that will help. Well sex helps lol...but my bf and I don't live together, so that's not usually an option.

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Default Aug 15, 2021 at 07:33 AM
  #6
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Originally Posted by scatterbrained04 View Post
You know...I have thought about that. I think it's because I feel I deserve it, and because it calms me down.
Someone tell you you deserve to be hurt?

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Default Aug 15, 2021 at 05:38 PM
  #7
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Originally Posted by pachyderm View Post
Someone tell you you deserve to be hurt?
No, no one has ever told me that.

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