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SlumberKitty
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Default Feb 10, 2023 at 05:26 PM
  #1
Hi Everyone.

What do you think is helpful responses to self harm? I was telling a friend today that I was feeling a bit better but honestly it's probably because I am probably going to self harm this weekend. She was like, I honestly have no idea what to say when you tell me things like that. It's so foreign to me. Obviously this was not the most helpful response, but it was an honest one. I told her not to worry about not knowing what to say. Most people I know just ignore it. But part of me, selfishly, was like as my friend she should want to be helpful. And maybe she does. She doesn't know how. I was trying to think of a response that she could have given that would have been helpful. I think something like, I'm sorry you feel that way. I know that is really hard for you. I hope you don't give in. But if you want to talk, I am here to listen and I care about you and love you. That would have been helpful but probably never going to get that response in a million years.

Kit

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Default Feb 10, 2023 at 05:30 PM
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I think a helpful response is "I'm always here to talk, I wish you wouldn't do self harms to yourself"

A unhelpful response is when my mum found out i was doing self harms and literally yelled at me "I WANT ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" complete with explanation marks .........
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Default Feb 14, 2023 at 03:25 PM
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I think a lot of people genuinely don't know what to say or how to react.I remember one of my aunt used to pour hot boiling things on her wrists like hot oil,water,hot sizzling breakfast directly from the pan,boiling syrup, melting hot butter things like that.I was with her in the kitchen when she did it.I didn't know what to say.I once asked her,gee aunt that should hurt,right?She smiled at me and said that felt good my dear.I was dumbfounded.
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Default Feb 23, 2023 at 06:07 AM
  #4
I know it can be a hard subject to talk about with your friends, especially those who have known you a long time. I had a few different responses, one friend threatened to call my mother. Whereas my other friend slaps me in the face when he sees what I do. I don't there is no one right response to have tbh, but it's not selfish to want her to be more invested in wanting to help you. I thought that at the begining too, I overthink a lot as well and so I got a little angry as to why they didn't do anything more to help. But I think there are definitely bad responses and it sorta seems like it was in the middle tbh.

Recently I have had this idea, not sure if it would work for me however, you could always talk to your closest friends tell why you do it so they could possibly find specific ways to help you maybe?

Hope this helps in some way!

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Default Feb 23, 2023 at 12:24 PM
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Thank you @Jason765 I recently sent my really good friend a book on self harm. Most of it probably won't apply to her understanding me because some of it is about treatment and stuff. But the first couple of chapters that explain it and stuff I thought might be helpful...which I told her when I sent her the book.

Sometimes when I hurt myself pretty badly, I go to my GP because at least it will get taken care of physically, if not emotionally. But sometimes she freaks out and calls the cops on me and then I have to talk myself out of a hospitalization. And that sucks. Most of the time I just feel like no one really cares. It's hopeless sometimes I think.

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Default Feb 23, 2023 at 01:28 PM
  #6
No worries at all! We all have our reasons for doing what we do, sometimes it's just hard trying to explain it to those who have never thought about it before so they can't form a way of response to it

That's good at least! You know what you do has to be seen professionally so it doesn't become worse in a physical aspect. To be completely honest I only told people after I had stopped for a little bit, but then I just haven't said I have continued to do so avoids it all as I just hate the unknown way they may react to it. I just don't know if they'll see me in a different way and then not want anything to do with me, so I just don't tell anyone.

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