advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Anonymous32448
Guest
Anonymous32448 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Feb 28, 2023 at 05:55 PM
  #1
2nd March is her anniversary, 2 days time

another year without her

i cant face another anniversary of her death

i just cant

i sorry
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, mote.of.soul, Rose76

advertisement
East17
Veteran Member
 
East17's Avatar
East17 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 516
10 yr Member
35 hugs
given
Default Feb 28, 2023 at 06:10 PM
  #2
Hugs ((willowtigger))

Sent from my SM-A526B using Tapatalk

__________________
To the world you might be just one person; but to one person you might be the world.
East17 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous32448, Breaking Dawn
Anonymous32448
Guest
Anonymous32448 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Feb 28, 2023 at 06:24 PM
  #3
she needs me so i have to join her at rainbow bridge

cause what if she's getting sick again and i'm not there to help her
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Breaking Dawn, mote.of.soul
Anonymous32448
Guest
Anonymous32448 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Feb 28, 2023 at 07:33 PM
  #4
Anyone who wants or needs to say nasty stuff can be as nasty and cruel as you wants in pm to me

I deserve it

I wont report any of you if someone does

Nasty pm messages i can use as a self harms

Cause i do that on forums, bad stuff thats said i will read it as a way of doing mental self harm

Cause its my fault she didnt live
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, mote.of.soul
mote.of.soul
Mad Walker
 
mote.of.soul's Avatar
mote.of.soul Act not the goat
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,038 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
21.9k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 01, 2023 at 02:34 AM
  #5
It'll be okay willowtigger, we're only human. Light a candle in love and remembrance with a smile within your soul: for there comes a time in our lives when we must forgive ourselves for the mistakes we've made, a time of letting go. It's over.🙏 Because when an animal dies, their spirit becomes one with the stars above, they become an angel, free from all pains and sufferings, looking down upon the Earth, their hearts filled only with peace and love. And we can connect to that peace and love too. Which means it's going to be okay🌻.🌼

__________________
"A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
mote.of.soul is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous32448, Breaking Dawn
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Breaking Dawn
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 Tired!!!
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,303 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,274 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 01, 2023 at 05:46 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by willowtigger View Post
Anyone who wants or needs to say nasty stuff can be as nasty and cruel as you wants in pm to me

I deserve it

I wont report any of you if someone does

Nasty pm messages i can use as a self harms

Cause i do that on forums, bad stuff thats said i will read it as a way of doing mental self harm

Cause its my fault she didnt live
Nasty PMs? People being nasty to you? Or uiu want them to be nasty?

What do you mean? I don’t think you should ask people on here to be nasty to you as a mode of self harm. I don’t think that’s how it works on a forum or if it’s even allowed.

I am sorry about your loss. It’s sad. Grief is hard. Give it time to heal.
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous32448
Guest
Anonymous32448 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Mar 01, 2023 at 09:12 AM
  #7
idk if its allowed or not

its something i've done on forums for a long time

if i get anything that does a further trauma in my brain, i use it as a way of making myself mentally hurt instead of physically hurting myself

although i do physically hurt still, leftover behaviour from 2012 cause i deserve it
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Breaking Dawn
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 01, 2023 at 12:21 PM
  #8
HUGS willowtigger. If you are feeling this bad, I suggest you either reach out to a help line or go to the hospital (A&E). Be safe, hun. HUGS Kit

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous32448, Breaking Dawn
Anonymous32448
Guest
Anonymous32448 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Mar 01, 2023 at 02:21 PM
  #9
it'll be 5 years this year

never gets easier
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Breaking Dawn, mote.of.soul, SlumberKitty
Anonymous32448
Guest
Anonymous32448 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Mar 02, 2023 at 04:01 AM
  #10
Can i die please so i can be with her again?

At this time on this day, i was heading into the vet with her 5 years ago today

Just after lunchtime the vet said they couldnt do anything more for her and to come back in and say goodbye

I went back in and killed her by gently holding her as the vet was giving her the injection

She was completely blind by that point and had very little hearing left

Willowtigger a murders
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Breaking Dawn
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 02, 2023 at 11:04 AM
  #11
Willowtigger, please try to reframe. You did the best you could for your little girl. There was nothing else that could be done. All pet owners at one time or another have had to face that decision. It isn't easy. But we don't want our babies living in pain. I let my poor Esther go after a 2.5 year battle with diabetes that ravaged her organs. Does that make me a murderer? No. It makes me compassionate. Please try to see yourself in a different light. I know this is a hard day for you and we are here for you. But hun, you have to stop beating yourself up. She knows you love her. I believe you will see her again one day. HUGS Kit

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous32448, Breaking Dawn
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Breaking Dawn
Rose76
Legendary
 
Rose76's Avatar
Rose76 Treading water.
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,404 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
5,302 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 02, 2023 at 07:15 PM
  #12
((( @willowtigger)))) On the far side of the Rainbow Bridge, there is no sickness. Pain and suffering belong only to the earthly side of the Rainbow Bridge. Your kitty is freed from all that ever caused pain or fear. I like mote's suggestion of a candle. When my doggie left me, I put her picture on a shelf with a candle that I lit every evening. To me, fire is sacred and links me to the other-world beyond this one.

For 5 years I mourned. Not every hour of every day. But I couldn't drive past a certain park where we used to go. Now I rarely cry. Mostly I smile for how wonderful she was and how she blessed me with her love and loyalty. I made mistakes caring for her. I was learning things that I would do much better, if I were caring for a furry friend again. She even got hurt once because of a mistake I made. I have to let go of what I can't go back and do over. I mostly tried hard to give her whatever she needed. She must have known that because she had "thank you" in her eyes.

We are so lucky and blessed and privileged that our furry friends gave us their love and loyalty. We must not be greedy. They were not meant to be with us always in this world. We must not say that we need more from them, like they didn't give us enough. We must not try to call back their spirits that have gone to the other world. They are where they belong now.

I think about getting another furry friend. It's a big decision because it's a lot of responsibility. Maybe @willowtigger will think about welcoming another furry friend who needs to be adopted. It's a possibility. Think about it.
Rose76 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous32448, Breaking Dawn, SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Breaking Dawn
Anonymous32448
Guest
Anonymous32448 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Mar 02, 2023 at 09:20 PM
  #13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
((( @willowtigger)))) On the far side of the Rainbow Bridge, there is no sickness. Pain and suffering belong only to the earthly side of the Rainbow Bridge. Your kitty is freed from all that ever caused pain or fear. I like mote's suggestion of a candle. When my doggie left me, I put her picture on a shelf with a candle that I lit every evening. To me, fire is sacred and links me to the other-world beyond this one.

For 5 years I mourned. Not every hour of every day. But I couldn't drive past a certain park where we used to go. Now I rarely cry. Mostly I smile for how wonderful she was and how she blessed me with her love and loyalty. I made mistakes caring for her. I was learning things that I would do much better, if I were caring for a furry friend again. She even got hurt once because of a mistake I made. I have to let go of what I can't go back and do over. I mostly tried hard to give her whatever she needed. She must have known that because she had "thank you" in her eyes.

We are so lucky and blessed and privileged that our furry friends gave us their love and loyalty. We must not be greedy. They were not meant to be with us always in this world. We must not say that we need more from them, like they didn't give us enough. We must not try to call back their spirits that have gone to the other world. They are where they belong now.

I think about getting another furry friend. It's a big decision because it's a lot of responsibility. Maybe @willowtigger will think about welcoming another furry friend who needs to be adopted. It's a possibility. Think about it.
Willow came to me after we lost Ebony

Im sorry about your dog
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Breaking Dawn, Rose76, SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Rose76
kala83
Veteran Member
 
kala83's Avatar
kala83 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2012
Location: Columbia,MO
Posts: 638
10 yr Member
88 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 04, 2023 at 08:07 PM
  #14
I really feel you, I have had suicidal thought tendencies (never actually had the balls to attempt ****, which I kind of count as lucky honestly) But somewhere in my head when I knew I was too scared to attempt something big I started getting in the habit over a few years of doing self-harm.
I have myself not had a relapse in doing something like it in a long long time...but omg if I am super emotional and in a bad way of things I am sitting there thinking about it.
I always hated how people outside of mental health always just assume if I was cutting i was doing it to end my life. and that was never the case at all!
it sounds strange but for the longest time and still to this day if and when I feel the urge. It's because I have done something I felt was harmful to another person and I wanted to inflict pain on myself in turn, maybe as punishment, or just knowing how badly I had hurt that person and having a relatability to their pain.
but it never was the whole over hollywoodized thing of cutting my wrists a certain direction to bleed out stuff they always want people wanting to think.

I hate it that its so hard for me to open up and talk about self-harm tendencies or suicidal thought tendencies ye by no means are these things pretty or a fun happy topic to bring up in mental health but if you can't find supportive formats to talk about them in some way then they never truly get addressed or resolved the way they need to.

__________________
Dx:OCD, AD/HD-C and ADD kinda both, General Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder,Abandonment Anxiety, Cycothymic disorder, or mixed bipolar, Border Line Personality Disorder,Histonic Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality disorder, eating disorder
]Rx:Lamotrigine 25mg twice a day for my mood stablizer as well as I am on Escitalopram 10mg 1 daily, Buspirone 3 times daily 10mgs
VT Student, CNA student, working HHA
for my father I think of you everyday
kala83 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous32448, Breaking Dawn
Anonymous32448
Guest
Anonymous32448 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Mar 05, 2023 at 10:36 AM
  #15
Ebony my sweetpea was with me last night i'm sure of it

I felt a cat jumping on the bed, Willow was asleep on my clothes near the bed, Tigger was playing with something in the other room i could hear her, so it wasnt Tigger or Willow on the bed

i could feel her walking around near my head like she used to, before she couldn't see or hear any more

i remember her last night, she was so unsteady on her paws and could not walk in a straight line, couldn't even tell where me and Tigger was

Tigger kept walking up and down the stairs next to her to prevent her from falling down the stairs
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Breaking Dawn, Rose76
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 06, 2023 at 08:01 PM
  #16
Sweetie, you had an awful, awful loss and the way you lost your precious kitty was especially cruel. I had to euthanize one of mine, he had a brain disease, too, and God, I still shake when I think of it and that was many years ago. So many of them and however they left their time on earth left a hole in my soul BUT not as big as what they GAVE to my soul.

wt, you did not do anything, not one teeny bit of anything, wrong. You clearly, clearly loved and adored Ebony. She knows that.

btw, I also feel one of my soul-mate cats jump on my bed sometimes. Their little, powerful spirits watch over us. I just say Hi and her name. She died 11 years ago. I miss her sooo much, every single day, yet there is peace. You will get that peace eventually. The peace won't mean that you have stopped loving Ebony. I promise.

__________________




*Beth* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous32448, Breaking Dawn
 
Thanks for this!
Breaking Dawn
Anonymous32448
Guest
Anonymous32448 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Mar 08, 2023 at 06:14 PM
  #17
Exactly how in the crap i avoided physically hurting myself so far since Ebony went idk

Hurting physically as punishment i did every year since her passing, this is the first year i havent cut her back into my skin, just realised
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, Rose76, SlumberKitty
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I am 27, F and still live with my sister and her family after 5 years rukspc Relationships & Communication 7 Jan 20, 2017 10:54 PM
I really don't want to live for another 70 years Voxx Depression 6 Oct 21, 2013 01:49 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:03 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.