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Member Since Jul 2023
Posts: 614
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#1
What's a better way to self harm, than
Possible trigger:
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![]() mote.of.soul
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
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#2
Hi @felineangel. I have heard from other people I talked to that there are other ways to cope which do not involve self harm. How I interpret your question is how can I feel better without self harming and the unpleasant consequences that involves.
So here are 10 alternatives that could give you a respite without self harm. 10 Alternatives to Self-Harm to Do Next Time You Want to Hurt Yourself | SELF Another technique that people tell me has helped them is urge surfing. Urges last usually about 90 seconds according to studies that have been done, so one way to deal with the urge to self harm is to out wait it. These youtube videos describe the method. Hope you find other ways to help you cope. @CANDC __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jul 2023
Posts: 614
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#3
idk whats wrong with me
when i get into a wobble, i want to hurt cause i know i deserve to feel pain idk how much sense i'm making |
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![]() CANDC
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,710
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#4
@felineangel what you experience when you feel "i want to hurt cause i know i deserve to feel pain" sounds to me like victim blaming. You are punishing yourself for something that happened in the past that you seem to believe is your fault. Blaming ourselves for something that happened to us happens more than we may imagine. This article from Psychology Today talks about how common it is to blame ourselves and even punish ourselves for something that is not our fault even if others think differently.
Quote:
Often what happens after someone experiences trauma is we think other people are blaming us in their mind. This is difficult to know but so easy to fall into. This is a form of emotional abuse. Here is a short video that has some ideas how to deal with emotional abuse from others or from ourselves. It is called "8 Ways Emotional Abuse Traumatizes You" so if the above link does not work in your area, you can search on the title. Hope you get the support you are looking for. @CANDC __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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![]() felineangel
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jul 2023
Posts: 614
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#5
one thing I blame myself for (which is my fault) was Ebony never coming home on the 2nd March 2018 cause I missed signs that she was sick, me and the vet thought it was her asthma and it was in the febuary that by pure chance the vet put his hand on the right part of her tummy and found a big thing there that shouldn't of been there, Ebony never let anyone touch her tummy until that day, cause she associated (spelling) her tummy getting touched with hurts, cause she had a major infection there
i do miss her and will always miss her ![]() |
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![]() CANDC
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jul 2023
Posts: 614
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#6
Ebony was the victim so its not really victim blaming cause if it was victim blaming I'd be blaming Ebony for getting the cancers that stole her
idk how much sense i'm making again |
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jul 2023
Posts: 614
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#7
murders
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: Northeastern USA
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#8
When a pet dies, I focus on how my wife and I provided a safe, loving environment for him or her. And all we've had here were rescues, so I imagine that our home was so much better than roaming the streets eating garbage, or confined to a cage in a shelter.
I'm reluctant to recommend a form of self harm. But if you can avoid breaking the skin, you avoid infection. There's a spot on the forearm that you can press to cause pain. It's taught as a self defense technique when a low-key intervention is called for. If you absolutely must do something, that "pressure point" would be preferable to what you do now. I do a "press" on my knuckle occasionally, so I do have that urge myself. |
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