Self harms

felineangel · Nov 09, 2023 at 04:58 PM

What's a better way to self harm, than

Possible trigger:

cutting

?

CANDC · Nov 11, 2023 at 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by felineangel

What's a better way to self harm, than

Possible trigger:

cutting

?

Hi @felineangel. I have heard from other people I talked to that there are other ways to cope which do not involve self harm. How I interpret your question is how can I feel better without self harming and the unpleasant consequences that involves.

So here are 10 alternatives that could give you a respite without self harm. 10 Alternatives to Self-Harm to Do Next Time You Want to Hurt Yourself | SELF

Another technique that people tell me has helped them is urge surfing. Urges last usually about 90 seconds according to studies that have been done, so one way to deal with the urge to self harm is to out wait it. These youtube videos describe the method.

Hope you find other ways to help you cope.

@CANDC

felineangel · Nov 11, 2023 at 05:24 PM

idk whats wrong with me

when i get into a wobble, i want to hurt cause i know i deserve to feel pain

idk how much sense i'm making

CANDC · Nov 12, 2023 at 12:40 PM

@felineangel what you experience when you feel "i want to hurt cause i know i deserve to feel pain" sounds to me like victim blaming. You are punishing yourself for something that happened in the past that you seem to believe is your fault. Blaming ourselves for something that happened to us happens more than we may imagine. This article from Psychology Today talks about how common it is to blame ourselves and even punish ourselves for something that is not our fault even if others think differently.

Quote:

That's because the tendency to blame the victim may be programmed into the human mind at a very basic level. Ask yourself if you've ever wondered whether the victims of a crime or accident had done something to set themselves up for their tragedy? Victim-blaming doesn’t have to involve accusing survivors of directly causing their own misfortune. It can involve the simple thought that you would have been more careful, implying that the tragedy was at least partially their fault.

What you have been through must have been very traumatic. It may take someone who is trained in surviving abuse to help unravel this, but at the very least you could help yourself by stopping blaming yourself for what happened due to others's actions.

Often what happens after someone experiences trauma is we think other people are blaming us in their mind. This is difficult to know but so easy to fall into. This is a form of emotional abuse. Here is a short video that has some ideas how to deal with emotional abuse from others or from ourselves.

It is called "8 Ways Emotional Abuse Traumatizes You" so if the above link does not work in your area, you can search on the title.

Hope you get the support you are looking for. @CANDC

felineangel · Nov 12, 2023 at 02:25 PM

one thing I blame myself for (which is my fault) was Ebony never coming home on the 2nd March 2018 cause I missed signs that she was sick, me and the vet thought it was her asthma and it was in the febuary that by pure chance the vet put his hand on the right part of her tummy and found a big thing there that shouldn't of been there, Ebony never let anyone touch her tummy until that day, cause she associated (spelling) her tummy getting touched with hurts, cause she had a major infection there

i do miss her and will always miss her

felineangel · Nov 12, 2023 at 02:41 PM

Ebony was the victim so its not really victim blaming cause if it was victim blaming I'd be blaming Ebony for getting the cancers that stole her

idk how much sense i'm making again

felineangel · Nov 12, 2023 at 03:37 PM

murders

SquarePegGuy · Nov 12, 2023 at 09:36 PM

When a pet dies, I focus on how my wife and I provided a safe, loving environment for him or her. And all we've had here were rescues, so I imagine that our home was so much better than roaming the streets eating garbage, or confined to a cage in a shelter.

I'm reluctant to recommend a form of self harm. But if you can avoid breaking the skin, you avoid infection. There's a spot on the forearm that you can press to cause pain. It's taught as a self defense technique when a low-key intervention is called for. If you absolutely must do something, that "pressure point" would be preferable to what you do now. I do a "press" on my knuckle occasionally, so I do have that urge myself.

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Self harms

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felineangel Account Suspended Member Since Jul 2023 Posts: 614 1 529 hugs given	Nov 09, 2023 at 04:58 PM #1 What's a better way to self harm, than Possible trigger: cutting ?
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felineangel Account Suspended Member Since Jul 2023 Posts: 614 1 529 hugs given	Nov 11, 2023 at 05:24 PM #3 idk whats wrong with me when i get into a wobble, i want to hurt cause i know i deserve to feel pain idk how much sense i'm making
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felineangel Account Suspended Member Since Jul 2023 Posts: 614 1 529 hugs given	Nov 12, 2023 at 02:41 PM #6 Ebony was the victim so its not really victim blaming cause if it was victim blaming I'd be blaming Ebony for getting the cancers that stole her idk how much sense i'm making again
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felineangel Account Suspended Member Since Jul 2023 Posts: 614 1 529 hugs given	Nov 12, 2023 at 03:37 PM #7 murders
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