Habit got out of control...

I am a burner who's habit recently got way out of control....I am trying to stop...but even though I have insurance I can't get therapy w/o my mother knowing( I am only 17), but I no longer live with her and refuse to get her involved...so no therapist will take me...if anybody can suggest soem methods that might help me...i would greatly appreciate it!!!

THE HAPPIEST PERSON CRIES, AND THE MOST PERFECT PERSON MAKES MISTAKES!!!

Mandy,

Do you have a guardian? Are you in school? Self-injury is more than just a bad habit, and stopping is more than just finding a method. It is a way of coping, and if you had better ways of coping that worked for you, you would not be hurting yourself. There are some good books and websites, and support groups like this one, but they are not the answer by themselves. Self-injury is a symptom of something deeper, and most people need a therapeutic relationship with someone who they can trust and who is able to guide them through dealing with those feelings that are locked up inside them, in order to be able to change it.

If you have a guardian, they could give consent for you to receive treatment. If you don't, then you could go through the courts to get a guardian appointed. Talk to social services, or DCFS. If you are in school, then you could ask a school counselor or a teacher you trust to help you find the resources you need (which need to include professional therapy).

There are things you can do instead of burning yourself, like going for a walk or doing some other kind of exercise, finding something to keep your hands busy (maybe a hobby - music, art, knitting or crochet), or even less damaging ways to get some pain, like maybe cold instead - you could hold ice cubes against your skin until it melts, or stick your finger into a carton of ice cream. But these things are only temporary solutions. You need to deal with the underlying problems, and that generally is a bigger project than any of us are able to tackle without some help.

I wish you well,

Wendy (aka Rap)

<font color=orange>"If a light beckons to you, follow it. If it leads you into the quagmire, you'll probably find your way out of it again; but if you don't follow it, you'll be plagued for the rest of your life by the thought that perhaps it was your star." Friedrich Hebbet</font color=orange>

Hello Mandy, welcome to our little corner, I am glad you found us. This place can be a great support when you are trying to stop self injury. I agree with Rapunzel. It isn't a matter of just stopping self injury because this habit is a symptom of things that run deeper. Things that are so painful and buried so deep that it takes physical pain to keep them buried. Please consider Rap's advice. How long until you turn 18?
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying

thanks for the advice...i talked to my hs counselor and i m starting sessions w/ her tomorrow and she's going to hook me up w/ a sponsor...kind of like the whole AA thing...ya know....I am hopin that it will help me out....thanks a lot!!!

THE HAPPIEST PERSON CRIES, AND THE MOST PERFECT PERSON MAKES MISTAKES!!!

I don't turn 18 until jan 6

THE HAPPIEST PERSON CRIES, AND THE MOST PERFECT PERSON MAKES MISTAKES!!!

mandy,

hi, im 17 and dont want my mom to know my problems.... i only have 5 months left..... just hang in there and sometimes the ice cube method works.... (hold the ice on ur skin) its a better alternitive to burning....

That sucks that you can't go without parent permission...i'm not too sure how it works here in Britain because i've never actually told a doc about my problem..but i guess if you had to see a therapist you'd have to get a parents permission..i hope your school can help you out and that things get better for you!

I know of a lot of books that might help you, in addition to therapy. I think therapy is more important, but for me, reading about self-injury really helped me validate and understand myself. I used to think it was a bunch of melodramatic crap that I should just be able to stop. But reading these books has helped me. One in particular that I just read is really REALLY helpful. The other books are more informational than anything, but this one is a self-help book. It's called "The Scarred Soul" by Tracy Alderman. I reccomend following the advice in the book and ONLY doing the exercises when you are not feeling like burning right at that moment. But I think that this book could help you understand why you do this, and how you can stop. And you could share the stuff you learn from it with your therapist.

Beyond that, I just reccomend having patience and compassion for yourself. Try to take care of yourself and love yourself, and also do not get too angry with yourself if you have a lot of slip-ups while you're trying to quit. We all do that. We all try to quit, but have slip-ups sometimes. If you get too down about it when you do slip, then it will only make the problem worse, you know? Try to be understanding with yourself, as you would with someone else.

I wish you the BEST of luck! Keep posting and letting us know how you're doing, ok?

Angela

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-