[Zenobia]

Woke up this morning at 3:30 to the sound of my dog piddling on the carpet again. He has totally given up even trying to make it outside, he has lost control of his bladder and walks around piddling all over the place. He has a nerve degeneration problem in his back end. He has been incontenent for over a year now probably 2. We would have to pick up his poops each morning and clean the carpet. But he was a happy dog. He still enjoyed get outside and playing, barking at the neighbors dog. The last two weeks though have shown a drastic change in his mood. He doesn't even care to go outside at all. When he is lying down and I pet him he doesn't even bother to lift his head up, or respond in anyway. He cares very little for the food we give him sometimes even leaving it for a while before eating it.

I am so sad and feel guilty about the fact that I am going to call the vet and make an appointment to have him put down. But I don't know what else to do. He isn't happy, he can't do what he needs to do to be happy cause his back end just doesn't want to cooperate. He is imbarrassed by what is happening. I feel like...bull pucky.
carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying

[Rapunzel]

((((((((((Carrie)))))))))))))

That's always a very hard decision and sad. You know your dog though, and the changes in him, and that it isn't going to get better. I would feel guilty too, but why should you feel guilty for doing what you believe is best for him? You have taken care of him and given him a good life for as long as he was happy and able to enjoy it. What would you want if you were in his place?

Love to you and your whole family, including him.
Wendy

<font color=orange>"If a light beckons to you, follow it. If it leads you into the quagmire, you'll probably find your way out of it again; but if you don't follow it, you'll be plagued for the rest of your life by the thought that perhaps it was your star." Friedrich Hebbet</font color=orange>

[lenjan]

I'm sorry about your dog, Carrie. I remember having to make the decision to put my childhood dog down. I cried for a solid week!

I don't have any words of wisdom to make it easier, but I'll at least send a hug your way. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Carrie}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Candy

There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed. -- Peter Sellers

[Leslie]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Carrie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I feel for you. I have had to put 2 dogs down and it is so hard. Getting another dog helped me to get over it.

Take Care ,
I am thinking of you,
Leslie

[jetblackaura]

I feel so sorry for you...my dog is getting on abit and she had an absess on her **** gland...and on saturday she was shaking and couldnt sit down and she's lost soo much weight, so my mum took her to the vets and i was in floods of tears cause i thought she was going to be put down(she didn't, she's getting better but still getting really old and it's upsetting)...i dread the day she goes...because i feel so guilty for not being patient with her.

[jagster]

Oh Carrie, im so sorry to hear about your dog. Im sure this must be devastating for you to have to put him down. Im a bigtime animal lover and i often think about what its going to be like when i have to do the same thing. Ive had the same dog for nearly 15 years now. Im not looking forward to having to make that decision.

My heart goes out to you.

Jagster

[darkeyes]

Oh Carrie, my heart aches for you, this is the roughest thing to do, but he deserves dignity at this point, I hate when we have had to put a family pet (member) down, it hurts so badly.
One thing remember it is the humane thing to do though it tugs at our hearstrings. Remeber him always, he will live on in your soul, and realize you gave him a good happy life.
We are here for you and I am sending you some hugs, dear one.

((((((((((((((( Carrie )))))))))))))))

DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

[mandy05co]

Am really srry to hear about your dog....my mom put one of my dogs to sleep w/o even letting me say good-bye....but no matter what just remember your just sending him to a better place afterall i truly believe all dogs go to heaven....

THE HAPPIEST PERSON CRIES, AND THE MOST PERFECT PERSON MAKES MISTAKES!!!

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((((((Carrie))))))))))))))))))))))

[Zenobia]

Thanks everyone for your supportive thoughts and words. I made the appointment yesterday on my lunch break. I cried and cried. My eyes were bright red. Not good for retail sales. He is going to have a seperate cremation and then my husband and I are going to sprinkle his ashes around the dogwood. We buried our kitty under the pussywillow so it would be fitting for golly to be under the dogwood. Sigh. This morning when I got up I scritched his head and said good morning. He just grumped and still hasn't got up even though I have been outside three times. Just a couple of weeks ago even if he didn't feel like getting up right when I did when the outside door opened he would have made his way out. I got in the habit of just leaving the door open because he was having troubles getting himself up and took awhile to get to the door. Sigh. I know it is the right thing to do but gosh I wish I didn't have to make this decision. I wish he could have died in his sleep last night so that I would know that I wasn't making a mistake.
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying

Zenobia,

You aren't making a mistake here. You are doing the most compassionate thing for this little member of your family.

My heart goes out to your family for this loss. You've given him a great life and done more than most ppl would have. In his mood change he's letting you know that he isn't fully here any longer. You're a perceptive owner to pick up on his cues.

Bless you for loving this dog for this time you were lucky enough to spend with him.

(((((((((Zenobia)))))))))) tears are okay with losses. Anyone who says otherwise or gives you any gruff you just send to me and I'll take care of them. There's this cousin Guido that has been offered up for me and I'll contract him out for this kind of work I'm so protective of people after animal loss........the public at large tends to not understand this kind of thing and that really chaps my hide!!

<font color=purple> --zh </font color=purple>

[Zenobia]

Someone please tell me how to break this to the kids. I just can't tell them I am taking their dog to be killed yet I want them to have an opportunity to say goodbye. Sigh. I don't know what to do.
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying

Carrie,

You are not taking the dog to be killed!!!! You are doing the humane thing for an animal that has lived its life expectency and then some.

Please do not think of this like that!! I know how it is because that is what I thought when I had to put my cat down. I thought I was some horrid killer. Nope!!! My kitty lived almost two decades and had agressive cancer at the end............there was no treatment and she was in pain in a matter of days so to put her down was the only compassionate and humane answer.

You have come to that conclusion as well.............what you're doing for your dog is compassionate, loving and kind.

How old are the kids?? Today perhaps printing out the rainbow bridge prayer (hopefully someone knows link to site) for animals for them to hear? Letting them know that your doggie is very old and that in people terms would be in hospice and approaching his end of this life....a natural part of the cycle/circle.................it is hard to see an animal as old compared to people old. Kids who are little have a hard time understanding that difference.

Don't be afraid to cry!! I think letting them know that you are sad too is helpful. You don't have to be a rock about this. Let them know that you too are going to miss doggie and that your heart hurts to have to say goodbye to doggie.

I remember my mother with our family dog when I was maybe 4 crying about having to put the dog down. I didn't understand at that age but I can't forget her tears and how much she loved that dog. It didn't scare me to see her cry. I was confused that the dog didn't come home but hey.......I was only 4!

You aren't taking your dog to be killed...........you are taking your dog to the vet for the final health visit. Both you and the doctor agree that this is what is best for the animal.

Let your kids know that. That the dog doctor agrees that this is the appropriate thing to do...........and that he/she is a doggie doctor and does know the best thing for animals.

I'm sorry that this is on your agenda today and tomorrow. My prayers are with you if that is okay.

I think the ceremony you have planned for after sounds beautiful. Include the kids in that if you are able to.........I think it will be healing for the entire family to do that for the dog.

((((((((Carrie)))))))))

<font color=purple> --zh </font color=purple>
<div class="foot">(Edited by zenhussy on 08/26/04 04:08 PM.)</div>

[Rapunzel]

Here is one of the rainbow bridge sites: <A target="_blank" HREF=http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm>http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm</A> The idea comes from Scandinavian mythology, btw.

Carrie, I know it's hard, especially telling the kids. Crying is just fine too. Your kids probably know more than you think they do. I do think that telling them and letting them have a chance to say goodbye is a good idea. So is sharing the Rainbow Bridge poem and giving them permission to feel and express this loss. I don't know how to word it. I would tend to open a discussion and ask them what they understood, and let that lead into telling them what needs to be done. Let them see that it is what is best for their pet, even though it is sad for them to lose him.

Remember, we're with you. Draw on that strength and support as much as you need to.

Wendy

<font color=orange>"If a light beckons to you, follow it. If it leads you into the quagmire, you'll probably find your way out of it again; but if you don't follow it, you'll be plagued for the rest of your life by the thought that perhaps it was your star." Friedrich Hebbet</font color=orange>

[Zenobia]

Thanks Rap and Zen. A little while ago my son who is 9 commented that Golly looked so tired. I told him "Yeah, I think he is tired. Your dad and I are taking him to the vets today. We are worried so give him all your love now, just in case." I know it was a lie. Hubby and I know what is going to happen but it is so hard. My son started crying, my daughter went upstairs to be by herself. I have talked to them a few times about the pets getting old and they understand that when you get old you eventually die. We have joked about death and what we will do when we die--usually haunting and driving the other family members nuts--and how when the animals get up to heaven the different ways they would drive G*d nuts or what they will come back as to drive us nuts. Sigh. Anyway, though I didn't tell the whole truth, they have had an opportunity to give Golly a loving and will cry when we leave with him. Sigh. It is time for me to go take the seat out of the van so we can load him up. I may or may not be back today. But I will check in tomorrow to let you all know how we are.
Carrie

PS the rainbow bridge is beautiful. Made me cry.

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying

[heatherm]

((((((((((((Carrie))))))))))))

My heart is with you and your family....I am so sorry hun..


Heather

[fgh]

Hello. I am so sad for you I can not stop crying. But that was nice you let them pet and say goodbye. When our family dog got sick and we did not have money to fix her, mother left her at the vets. We did not even know she was doing that so when Icame home from schooland began looking for our dog and he was not any where I got scared. Then I waas toldhe waas put to sleep and not coming back. All I could do was cry. My pillow got soaking wet. I cry for you an d your doggie. They go to heaven because GOD made the animals.

[Peanut61]

Aww, ((((((((((((Carrie)))))))))))) = I'm so sorry ....

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[emwell]

I so feel for what you and your family are going through. I had to do the same thing 5 years ago. I still feel guilty, but try to remember it was the right thing to do. My Allie beagle was only 5 and shouldn't have been that sick at her age. My husband and I had been married 5 days before we lost her. I figured that if we could make it through Allie's passing, we could make it through anything.

I also had Allie cremated seperately. I refused to bury her as I knew I was not staying in that house forever. I didn't want to leave her behind when we moved.

There are some good websites out there to help deal with the loss of pets. If you have never read The Rainbow Bridge, I will get a copy to you.

I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you know your dog will always be with you.

<font color=white>laughter really is the best medicine</font color=white>

[PlanningtoLive]

{{{{{{{{{{Carrie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I am so very sorry. It will be difficult for all of you, but everyone needs to express their sorrow. I can only imagine what this is doing.

I'm keeping you all in my prayers.


Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
Dorothy Bernard

[Zenobia]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{fgh}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thanks Peanut.

Em: Rapunzel and Zenhussy already sent me a link. That thing made me sob and sob. It is beautiful though.

The kids are doing ok with the situation. Jess has turned to her friends instead of me. This is a good thing. She has been too attached to me for so very long. She didn't have any real friends either. She has worked on making a connection with two very wonderful girls and I am glad she chose their comfort over mine...though it does yank at my heart. sigh.

My son is wanting a new kitten. He feels bad for Teppy being the only animal in the house. He wants her to have a friend. I told him, once Teppy stops peeing all over the carpet and starts using her litter box on the landing instead of the one in the livingroom we can do that. I have been using some stuff to get the phermones out of the carpet that were left from when she had a bladder infection. I hope we can stop this habit of hers. I am afraid she is going senile. Sigh. She is 17. But she did use the landing litter box twice last night. Whooo Hooo.

Hubby and I are find. I just feel so very tired. I find that I am sighing alot. Though I am not constantly thinking about my puppy I can feel the grief inside. It is ok though. I am ok.
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying