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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2008
Posts: 8
16 |
#1
When I cut I felt addicted to the pain, the rush, the blood...the whole experience. However I haven't hurt myself in over three years. I stopped for my husband, then fiance. I promised him that I would not do it anymore. And I have stayed true to my word.
But...BUT...I still want to do it. And I think on how when someone quits smoking, many people may influence that person's choice, but until the smoker decides to do it for himself, the habit isn't completely snuffed out... So, I have been thinking why shouldn't I start up again? I am not ready to stop. But I know I won't. I made that stupid promise... And I am going to keep the d**n thing. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2007
Posts: 1,162
16 |
#2
i am glad that you aren't going to break that promise...i know how hard it is...but if you have gone this long your very strong...and i believe you can continue on... when i cut again after many years...it has been much more intense then ever...and much harder to control...take gentle care ...lyn
__________________ lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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Wise Elder
Member Since Aug 2005
Posts: 8,106
19 76 hugs
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#3
I am glad that your promise has kept you from harming yourself. I know how strong the allure can be when things get hard. Can you find something you can do when the urges get bad? You have stayed SI free for three years and you have coped. Maybe you can try using the skills you have used for the time you have not cut to help you through this hard time. I am sorry you are so ambivalent and are so drawn to the addiction right now.
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Member
Member Since Feb 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 29
16 |
#4
i dont think im ready to quit. im too attached to the comfort of it.
__________________ 18 years old, brown hair and eyes, overweight. i have an addiction to cutting. and drinking. and playing with fire |
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