[Typo]

I am frightend, I am weak, I am out of control.....
I don't understand what just happend to me, it really scared me. I got done with my speech and communtications class, I went out to my car, called the doctor to reschedule to friday and all of a sudden I just freaked, I had to leave, I had this overwhelming urge to run and get away from people. So I left, I didn't have any control, it's like this whole seperate person took over and started driving home, thank goodness I had no more classes. I went into some weird autopilot. I felt like I wasn't really in my body, that the body I was in wasn't mine, it belonged to someone else. When I was driving it was like I was seeing out of someone else's eyes it scared me. I came home and started taking straight shots of vodka and I hurt myself....I'm still shaking...I don't know what that was...it's like it was an entirley diffrent person...I would be driving and not even realize where I was, it was all so much like a dream....so scared and mad....I don't know what to do...help.....:icon_cry::Help::Bang-Head::Sob:

[reddevil]

((((((((((Silversparrow)))))))))

That sounds very scary indeed. Are you ok now?

Sounds a bit like a dissociative episode to me, as you describe it being as though you were someone else.

Do you have a T that you can bring this up with?

[Sannah]

Hi Silver, yes, it does sound like you dissociated. You dissociate when you won't/can't own the feelings that you are having. That phone call to the doc triggered something?

[purplebutterfly]

(((((((((((silversparrow)))))))))))))

Hun, this has happened to me many times, I understand the feeling you are having- please be careful, remember if you need to talk- let me know you have my email address- please take care of YOU!

Originally Posted by Silversparrow

I am frightend, I am weak, I am out of control.....
I don't understand what just happend to me, it really scared me. I got done with my speech and communtications class, I went out to my car, called the doctor to reschedule to friday and all of a sudden I just freaked, I had to leave, I had this overwhelming urge to run and get away from people. So I left, I didn't have any control, it's like this whole seperate person took over and started driving home, thank goodness I had no more classes. I went into some weird autopilot. I felt like I wasn't really in my body, that the body I was in wasn't mine, it belonged to someone else. When I was driving it was like I was seeing out of someone else's eyes it scared me. I came home and started taking straight shots of vodka and I hurt myself....I'm still shaking...I don't know what that was...it's like it was an entirley diffrent person...I would be driving and not even realize where I was, it was all so much like a dream....so scared and mad....I don't know what to do...help.....:icon_cry::Help::Bang-Head::Sob:

[x_BabyG_x]

Do u know what triggered it hun? Have a think back and see if you notice anything - x

[darkrunner]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((silver))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
hope u r ok

ktgirl

[Typo]

(((((reddevil)))) ((((Sannah)))) (((((Purplebutterfly)))) (((((Babyg)))))) (((((ktgirl)))))

Thank you all, I'm not sure what triggered it, Sometimes I just get theses urges to run and get away from everyone, like all the social stuff gets to me, sometimes it's really hard to pretend I'm okay. I think what could have triggered it was in speech class we where doing speechs and one girl did her's over her grandparents and started crying, crying makes me really uncomfterable, I just kinda of freaked and my anxiety level raised when I had to go do my speech, getting up in front of people use to be so easy for me...then calling the doctor it all went downhill from there, I've been having really bad problems with disacociating here lately, I just keep losing little bits of time, I can't recall things...I'm just scared, I dont' know, I wish I had thearpy this week but I don't. I did write a big journal entry though to explain to her what's been going on with me here latley, she will probably laugh at me and call me a liar like my parents did when I told them back in January what was going on, I don't want to be laughed at, What I'm experencing is real, I've just never had anyone listen to me, I've never had anyone take me serious when I cry out for help, I don't think I could stand another push down into the mud......I just want help...I'm jsut so tired of trying to hide behind a mask, so tired of lying to everyone...I'm so broken..........

[Sannah]

Hi Silver! Your therapist will not laugh and she will believe you. I am so glad that you are in therapy! You will be alright, you will get better, there is a way out of this for you and you are finding it now by going to therapy and writing in your journal and coming here to talk.

It sounds like you figured out what triggered you.

When I was doing my Master's degree over ten years ago I was having a lot of anxiety which was being triggered in my classes. I started seeing a psychologist at the student mental health center there. He was a psychology professor. I worked through it all and you can too!

Originally Posted by Silversparrow

I What I'm experencing is real, I've just never had anyone listen to me, I've never had anyone take me serious when I cry out for help, I don't think I could stand another push down into the mud......I just want help...I'm jsut so tired of trying to hide behind a mask, so tired of lying to everyone.

This. Right here. You deserve to be taken seriously, and to come out from behind the mask. Your T WILL hear you, and your T WILL believe you, and your T WILL help you.

(((((((((((((((((((( silversparrow ))))))))))))))))))))) I'm sorry you're hurting.