[Cattsday]

Why do we hurt ourselves? I have been trying to figure that out. I truly do not understand how I could do such a thing. I actually hate pain, but I still self-injure. I keep thinking that if I could just understand maybe I could stop.

Cattsday

[Rapunzel]

You are on the right track with figuring out why. We do everything for a reason. When you know the reason you can find another way to get your needs met.

The reasons are different for each person though, and often not even the same for one person every time. What are you thinking or feeling before and after you SI? What changes? How do other people react when you do it? Answering these questions can help you figure it out. If that doesn't get you there, write in a journal and every time keep track of what was going on before, what your thoughts and feelings and actions were, what happened after, and why you think you might have done what you did that time. After a little while, you can start to see patterns.

[Christina86]

(((((((((((Cattsday)))))))))))))))))

I agree with Rapunzel. Do you have a therapist, or any sort of support in helping to figure this out?

[Sannah]

Hi Catts, from everyone who I have ever talked to who SI, they have told me that they are unable to express their intense feelings and they SI to get release. I know one person who successfully stopped SI and now she expresses her feelings so she doesn't have to SI anymore. All of these people who I have talked to didn't learn how to deal with their emotions while they were growing up or weren't allowed to.

[x_BabyG_x]

I agree with sannah. Obviously, there is something troubling you, even if its only a minor thing to make you have to express your emotions and get something out... and it builds up.

I think its then when we blame ourselves for things, so we feel the need to pusish ourselves and thats when the self injury comes in ... we realise it makes us feel better, a quick release (even if its only temporary) ...and the cycle begins... after we do it, it makes us feel even worse and we blame ourselves again... but the only thing to make us feel better about that is self injury and then continue to do it so we get addicted. It makes us feel reliant on it then, we get blinded by it so we believe its the only thing that can stop the pain inside, when really thats not true at all. Our self confidence shatters, in fact, it gets so low we feel that we dont deserve anything better than this because we started it all so we have to suffer the concequences - we become angry at ourselves for doing this in the first place.

But we can control this - its just that people are so caught up in its ugliness and what it makes us think about ourselves, that we cannot see the reality... we are good people, every single one of us, and there was a time before we started to self injure when we wouldnt have even dreamed of doing this to ourselves because we knew that we deserved better...

Its just a struggle believing that we can all fight it and we can all live without it, there are better ways to express our emotions.

Remember - there is a big big difference in believing and knowing... We know that we all can get over this one day and we wont need it again, but because of that shattered inner confidence it has brough upon us all - we dont believe in ourselves and believe that we cant. So we go off that. But I think its time all of us started concentrating on that we KNOW we can all do this, its pure fact... and knowing this - doesnt that make it the tinyist bit easier learning to believe we can, now we all know we can do it?

I hope this helps you catssday, I hope now you might be able to take that first step into trusting in yourself to believe

take care hun, babyg - x

[Sannah]

What you are saying Baby is making me think of empowerment and taking control of your life. This is essential for mental health I think. If you think that you are weak and powerless you will be. If you believe that you can take control of your life, have power and get better you will find your way....