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Anonymous32511
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Default Jan 22, 2012 at 07:37 PM
  #81
Hi everyone...new to the forum but sadly not to self harm. Its a symptom of my BPD and one that i find very difficult to overcome. Nice to be able to talk about it amongst others though. I hope everyone has a safer 2012 x
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Default Jan 27, 2012 at 01:27 PM
  #82
Hi I'm new and have been self injuring for about a year. I can make it about a week or two, but then slip up. My therapist and I have a deal that whenever I slip up she comes up with something creative for me to do or talk about that I would normally shy away from. I came up with that idea cuz I started to really cause some harm to myself. It seems to work because I don't want to have to do something out of my comfort zone.
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depressed.fml
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Thumbs up Jan 27, 2012 at 09:52 PM
  #83
I think when discussing self injury, you should tread lightly. It is a very serious topic- in my opinion as serious as suicide, therefore, we should encourage discussing reasons not to start, other methods for coping with emotional pain, and ways to stop if you have already started. However, I do think we should keep the SI forum as I- a victim of self mutilation- would like to talk about it. I'm sure others have the same or a similar opinion.

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Default Feb 09, 2012 at 04:11 PM
  #84
I have gotten worse.. Any tips?
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Default Jun 07, 2012 at 08:38 AM
  #85
Hi I'm 22 and I'm new here I need help,I don't have parents,my father die when I was 11 and my mother I was 14. They didn't have a house the were renting a place,so when they die I had to leave with my aunt,she treated me bad,I was the 1 who was always doing the house work,they did buy anything for me,didn't support me with anything. When I was 17 I meet my boyfriend he was everything I needed he support me,care . And I went to varsity 1 year,I was pregnant ,my aunt chase me out of the house and I ended up staying at my boyfriend home,but now he treat me as if I'm nothing,like he is always telling me to leave and I can't because I don't have a place to stay. I spend most of my time crying
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melancholy_madness
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Default Oct 16, 2012 at 10:23 PM
  #86
well, im definatley not a professional, but i do believe that SI is a serious problem and should not be viewed as a joke. I think that for some people, it is a way to cry out for help because they dont know how else to do so. For others, i think SI is more personal, and is to help cope with emotions. I have struggled with this, and still do from time to time, but i have come to realize it does not get rid of the underlying problem.
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Default Oct 24, 2012 at 08:17 AM
  #87
I have been self injuring since childhood and I am now in my fifties. Have had up to twenty year periods of remission, so it IS possible. Do not injure yourself, read the alternatives here on this site.

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Default Nov 19, 2012 at 08:52 PM
  #88
Yeah........Im a teenager whos gotten into cutting....and I don't know what to do. My parents found out and its made it more awckard and its fueled negative emotions that cause me to do it.....so I understand anybody who is going through that right now
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Trig Jun 05, 2013 at 06:11 PM
  #89
Quote:
Originally Posted by ;13270
I have been on the net since almost before AOL started, so you might say I have seen/heard of and read of everything, but recently I am seeing more and more forums devoted to totally bizarre things I can't fathom, I mean tatoos were bad enough... Maybe Dr Grohol can type some kind of professional opinion as a mental health practitioner.

Without going into details, I am seeing forums like personal web sites, blogs, postings, photos, entire forums just like this one with dozens or hundreds of users, and that sort of thing describing the author's fettish/want for etc., torture, pain, serious permanent self surgery such as becoming a eunich or worse, piercing, mutilation, amputation, slavery, being severely spanked, being humiliated, being treated like a dog, and seriously disturbing things involving body waste, injections and so on.

I find this stuff and I just can't believe it, and over and over I can't help but ask myself what is wrong with these people????

To me I see some serious psychological problems that I am certain go to early childhood, especially the spanking to the point where there is actual skin damage!
I thought I saw everything and I'm real open minded but this kind of thing is absolutely something that cries out; HELP ME!!!!!

I can't possibly think of anything other than that- some severe childhood trauma the person may not even remember, and a cry for help coming out in adulthood manifesting itself with these kinds of self-defeating damaging activities.

I can sort of understand "cutting" as it applies to people who might be HERE, depressed etc, but that is not what I'm seeing, I'm seeing more of a boastfull "Hey, look what I did,tu isn't that cool!!"

I don't get it, anyone want to offer some insite from a professional perspective?
. I started cutting a long time ago and never told anyone. After my mom passed when I was ten abuse became a way of life along with drinking drugs gambling and having an alcoholic brother who would literally try to kill us , espcially me since I was youngest. I didn't know it til recently for I thought repressed memories was something that happened in movies. I think for me I couldn't deal with the emotional abuse it seemed mire overwhelming than the physical abuse. And over the years when u would get sad or deppressed,rejected and alone. I found myself going back to hiding in my room as a child I didn't have my own room but I hid in the closet or under the bed. I wasn't allowed to eat,and when I got depressed I would get beat more from family members. Years later in recovery I find myself alone and isolated thinking I had it beat. But rejection,death and loneliness within the past few months seemed to have brought me,my mind to when I was a child and I started to cut to relieve the intense emotional pain. I'm not proud of it and ill admit feeling the blade and seeing the blood brought some relief emotionally. But I knew it would lead me to do something I tried to do in2002. For the cutting wasn't enough this time and I started drinking again after 7 years which not only made it as I cut I also felt like I deserved to be punished the way I was when I was 10+11 I came close toa overdosing again like I did in 2002 and nearly died for I hadn't told anyone. Just someone had a feeling I may have done something and called 911 and sent them to my apt. I told them I didn't do anything. Its a long story but I awoke in ICU after the overdose caused 2 seizures. I wasn't too happy with the person who sent ambulance to my apt. The hospital pharmacist had to know what I took along with the alcohol and when I told her what pills and how many she said that amount I should be dead 'someone up there wants you around longer'. Lately I've been asking why? No cutting isn't 'cool' but I do understand the emotional reason behind it though I don't encourage it. That's why a couple weeks ago I fought those feelings and walked to hospital and told them I'm in a crisis I need help. Now I'm taking things 1 minute at a time in hopes I could get back on track again.wow I write a lot,thank you for letting me share this and good luck to all who go through this,David

Last edited by darkpurplesecrets; Jun 05, 2013 at 11:31 PM.. Reason: added trigger icon...
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Default Aug 24, 2013 at 11:19 AM
  #90
hi all

likewise i am happy to see a place where i can communicate on a taboo subject...i find it particularly stressful having thoughts that i believe are untellable to anyone
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Default Oct 03, 2013 at 12:48 AM
  #91
G'Day, from Sydney Australia.. I found this blog site today, and was curious.. so I joined. I'm 43yrs old, S,Injurer, since I was kneehigh to a grasshopper.. When I was growing up, we never had people to discuss this with, and to let others know about it was never an option... not even doctors. Infact this is the first place I've ever heard ppl discuss it. The only reason I found this site is because I had a recent.. situation.. that caused me to search out something that could tell me I am not insane because of my SI. (I have never sought out treatment or even to see anyone for my situation) I am one who does not really remember the instances where I SI, I only remember the outcome.. on rare occasions I have flashbacks, but as I said, this is rare. It has been like this since, forever, I guess. I do not relate to the reasons I've found people discussing, but do relate to the after effects of my SI, scaring, and recently, the new wounds...but not as in shame or embarrassment, more of a detatched kind of way...like it never happened... only difference is this time I've had to tell my partner, he would have seen it. I haven't SI'd for 5 1/2yrs, this has totally thrown me out of whack...and obviously upset my partner too, as he thought I had gotten past it. (He has seen old scars). I don't know what I will get out of this site or what I can offer.. if anything.. yet, but just thought I'd introduce myself..and say hi...
soo.. "hi"
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Default Oct 08, 2013 at 11:25 AM
  #92
Quote:
Originally Posted by blackdragon View Post
I like being able to talk about how im feeling. At my house thats a big No-No. Everytime i try to say something its allways Shut up i dont want to hear about it or go away. So its nice to talk here. Plus its also helpful since im scared of crowds and since everyone is like a million miles asway from me i dont haft to worrie about this spreading around my town like wild fire. (i live in a small town full of gossip)
I also live in a small town where when people who have seem my cutting have put up a fuss and I was let go of a job. Cutting for me is a way for me to be able to go out in public and not be so anxious; medicine makes me sleepy and SI allows for instant calm and no sleepiness.
I wish people would not be so judgmental. I don't even like to leave my house and over five years, I have become very lonely.
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Default Oct 16, 2013 at 10:48 AM
  #93
Hello everyone. I'm fifty years old and have self-injured since I was very young.
Every therp I have been to has known about it. The one I have now has told me I shouldn't be ashamed that this is my coping skill that I've used out of necessity. She has been really helpful. I haven't SI'd since July. I think about six months has always been my limit before I SI again. I'm hoping that I've learned to deal with things better, but don't know until the next crisis comes up. Thanks for this forum. And hello to everyone that shares this issue.
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Default Nov 03, 2013 at 11:58 AM
  #94
Ive been struggling with SI ....I cant connect to my emotions...so that seems to be the way to express what Im feeling sometimes...I just want the emotional pain to stop
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Default Nov 03, 2013 at 04:56 PM
  #95
Whenever I go to a forum, I feel like I need to post something. So I'm posting something here. I don't actually hurt myself. I've thought about it often, but I'm too scared, so I just imagine it.

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Default Nov 14, 2013 at 11:48 AM
  #96
For several years, I struggled with SI, and most of the times, gave in to my addiction. from slaps and hits, to burns and cuts, I always felt the need to punish myself, and every time I did... It felt so good. But that "high" never lasted long, so I began to do it more. Yet the more I did it, the worst I felt, and my "highs" were no longer high. So I began to cut deeper, and burn longer, until I realized that I had a problem, and needed to stop. Two years later, here I am. Nearly every day I still have those thoughts and desires run through my mind, and perhaps for the rest of my life they will, but I've been able to control them. It's really difficult, and honestly some days I don't know how much longer I can last... but I do. I guess what I'm trying to say is, is that if you're struggling with SI, I understand - and maybe I can help. feel free to pm me, because I could also use a friend to talk to.

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Default Nov 17, 2013 at 12:20 PM
  #97
I need to get my life turned around in so unhappy about my self I do try so hard to stop cutting but it just doesn't work what can I do?

I need help, I have to much on my hands and I try to talk to someone but I end up crying out of it. Please help me
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Default Nov 25, 2013 at 12:21 AM
  #98
I'm new here. Only a few people in my life know about my self-harm. My family doesn't know and I've never told them. I think they would put me in a mental hospital which I don't want. It's been about 4 years now since I started due to a horrible relationship. I haven't done anything in quite awhile but lately it seems once my bad mood starts, I spiral.

I miss my baby brother who is in his first year of college. I miss my departed grandpa who was more like a best friend. I work my *** off at my job while other's sit around doing nothing. I feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. My moods are random and can hit at any moment.

I don't know what to do or how to stop.
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Default Feb 08, 2014 at 08:45 PM
  #99
Thank you for this room,
it is going to be most helpful.

Just happy that there is a place to share without judgments.
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Default Mar 03, 2014 at 02:05 PM
  #100
I'm older and have been SI ing since I was a young child. I am in treatment and have been for many years. I am neither ashamed nor " proud" of the things I've done. If anyone happens to comment on scars, I tell them it's none of their business. I neither hide nor flaunt the scars. It is what it is....
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