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Jun 04, 2018 at 09:21 AM

I want to stop it but I don't know how to.

oncetwicethreetimes · 12:25 AM

I HAVE DESCRIPTIONS AHEAD BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE TRIGGER BUTTON IS, PLEASE TAKE CARE
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Possible trigger:

I once tested out an exact-o knife on my thumb out of curiousity while I was working on a project. How well would it cut? How long would it take to heal? Would it hurt that much? There're lots of nerve endings in your fingers. Found out, not gonna try again.

Sometimes I used to shower in just hot water, and feel my body become cold and numb. There was one time where I was filled with angry, hateful emotions, so I bit into my arm- not a mouthful but like a pinch. Then I wondered if I could bite through- since humans are capable of biting through bone. It was a unique feel so I did it a few more times. Unfortunately, I was left with some tiny scars, but they aren't noticeable in the least.

I remember whenever I had paper, I would run it over myself to see if it would cut. School friends would laugh and shake their head. Kids do dumb things all the time. This was not so different- testing the limits.

When one of my metal snap hair clips snapped (ironically), one of the part was sharp. I ran it over my legs. It was fascinating really how a touch and a drag could incite a tingle throughout. I realized later on that I had red lines crossing the expanse of my thighs. It was dark so I didn't realize how much pressure I was putting.

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There are just some I can think of right now. I never ever considered what I have done to be self-harm, but when I've read what others have said their definition of it included, I wondered to myself: Is it?
I've never done it to relieve myself or anything. Merely out of curiosity, experimenting. I think if you're counting by emotions, maybe the shower incident would fit.

Jul 10, 2020 at 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ;13270

I have been on the net since almost before AOL started, so you might say I have seen/heard of and read of everything, but recently I am seeing more and more forums devoted to totally bizarre things I can't fathom, I mean tatoos were bad enough... Maybe Dr Grohol can type some kind of professional opinion as a mental health practitioner.

Without going into details, I am seeing forums like personal web sites, blogs, postings, photos, entire forums just like this one with dozens or hundreds of users, and that sort of thing describing the author's fettish/want for etc., torture, pain, serious permanent self surgery such as becoming a eunich or worse, piercing, mutilation, amputation, slavery, being severely spanked, being humiliated, being treated like a dog, and seriously disturbing things involving body waste, injections and so on.

I find this stuff and I just can't believe it, and over and over I can't help but ask myself what is wrong with these people????

To me I see some serious psychological problems that I am certain go to early childhood, especially the spanking to the point where there is actual skin damage!
I thought I saw everything and I'm real open minded but this kind of thing is absolutely something that cries out; HELP ME!!!!!

I can't possibly think of anything other than that- some severe childhood trauma the person may not even remember, and a cry for help coming out in adulthood manifesting itself with these kinds of self-defeating damaging activities.

I can sort of understand "cutting" as it applies to people who might be HERE, depressed etc, but that is not what I'm seeing, I'm seeing more of a boastfull "Hey, look what I did, isn't that cool!!"

I don't get it, anyone want to offer some insite from a professional perspective?

i think you may be describing me as one who is amongst the worst of what you are talking about. and i agree with you 100%. since you are a guest, i hope you return to see my reply. i don’t like any of the bad stuff i’ve done and for much of my life my sexuality as feminine desires has been a humiliating and haunting thing with sex with other men as torment and torture but here i am discovering that i can try to be a woman at least on this site and i’m actually finding comfort and thinking maybe all the other self harm stuff may fade away. i really feel good here about my feminine side and allowing it to take over. i’m hoping that there is still a chance to actually have a sex change. it seems very right. so maybe other people can also find ways that may not seem totally away from self harm or “bad” but actually turn out to be good and helpful.. i’ll be happy to become a woman if that stops my self harm and i just think i really want to be female too. it fits me right. maybe not being a woman is why i self harmed to begin with. what do you think?

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Anonymous32891 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 04, 2018 at 09:21 AM #121 I want to stop it but I don't know how to.
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