Welcome to the self injury room

Hi folks,

I'm often a little wary or concerned when asked to create this forum, because I'm afraid that it will feed the self injury behavior rather than be a support or help to its members.

Having said that, I did create the room and hope that all of you make supportive, helpful, and as positive as possible use of it. I hope you find it helpful to talk to one another to find a way to reduce the self injury behavior, rather than just sharing it with one another.

Please take care of yourself and each other.

Best,
John

PS - Please use the trigger icon for your post if it has triggering material in it. This is new as of August, 2003. Thank you and take care.

Thanks Doc John. This is a topic that I am ashamed to talk to anybody...even my T. When he brings it up I gloss over it and manipulate the conversation away from it. It is funny because in most things he is tenacious and will not allow me to do that but with this issue he lets it slide. Perhaps he is as uncomfortable with it as I am or perhaps he can sense that talking about it with him will send me over the edge. As with everything I have worked on in therapy I have come here with it first. So perhaps it is time.
Take care and thanks again,
Carrie

<font color=blue>The important thing is this: to be able at any momeent to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.--Charles Du Bos

Thankyou Docjohn

I know most people can be afraid and weary about talking about self harm,But in a way its kind of a good thing to have somewhere to go to talk openly and get advice.I find It very hard To talk to my parents and am Not seeing anyone For what I do to myself So Its alot better Knowing that I can talk without feeling Rejected or put down......So thankyou once again For making This forum

Thank you DocJohn..self harm isn't exactly a hot topic for discussion among my family and I don't go outside so it's nice to find somewhere where I can talk to people about it. Although I stopped self harming around a year ago I have recently began to want to do it again, mainly due to the fact that my depression is still hanging over me. But I am glad to have found somewhere to talk.

I agree with you there,It is not hot topic in my family too my dad seems to think that its a discraceful Behaviour,And that he wont allow it in his house......!!!!!! Im sorry but he has not got a choice come to think of it neither have I???

Thanks for letting us have this space. It helps to know that we aren't alone, and it is a subject that not just anybody wants to or can talk about. Even my T. doesn't ever bring it up - he'll talk about it if I bring it up, but I know that he would rather talk about something else.

(I did get a new account. It's me - Wendy.)

I am glad I found this room. I have given myself a deadline to get things turned around in my life and started writing a diary of my thoughts and things. I am, as my sn says, planning.

yeah me too! maybe not!

Why Fear Im Here

On some level I feel a little guilty that I was the one who suggested a self injury board and I want to echo DocJohn's concerns--it can be a sensitive topic and it still kind of upsets me even though I haven't injured in 2 years

but that said I hope y'all will benefit from this board--and if you need any thing let me know--

<font color=purple> Whatever you can do, or believe you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
Goethe </font color=purple>

I have been on the net since almost before AOL started, so you might say I have seen/heard of and read of everything, but recently I am seeing more and more forums devoted to totally bizarre things I can't fathom, I mean tatoos were bad enough... Maybe Dr Grohol can type some kind of professional opinion as a mental health practitioner.

Without going into details, I am seeing forums like personal web sites, blogs, postings, photos, entire forums just like this one with dozens or hundreds of users, and that sort of thing describing the author's fettish/want for etc., torture, pain, serious permanent self surgery such as becoming a eunich or worse, piercing, mutilation, amputation, slavery, being severely spanked, being humiliated, being treated like a dog, and seriously disturbing things involving body waste, injections and so on.

I find this stuff and I just can't believe it, and over and over I can't help but ask myself what is wrong with these people????

To me I see some serious psychological problems that I am certain go to early childhood, especially the spanking to the point where there is actual skin damage!
I thought I saw everything and I'm real open minded but this kind of thing is absolutely something that cries out; HELP ME!!!!!

I can't possibly think of anything other than that- some severe childhood trauma the person may not even remember, and a cry for help coming out in adulthood manifesting itself with these kinds of self-defeating damaging activities.

I can sort of understand "cutting" as it applies to people who might be HERE, depressed etc, but that is not what I'm seeing, I'm seeing more of a boastfull "Hey, look what I did, isn't that cool!!"

I don't get it, anyone want to offer some insite from a professional perspective?

I respond for three reasons: 1) Nobody else did 2) I wish to express my anger at your inflammatory post 3) I hope that you can be enlightened and change your negative views of people

Firstly, many of us on this site have harmed ourselves in ways like you expressed as being "bizarre" for reasons including the "cry for help" you noted, but also including reasons such as to numb emotional pain and to express through our actions the feelings for which we have no words. Some of us have outwardly expressed the "Hey, look what I did" attitude you write of to mask the inward feelings we often cannot admit to ourselves. Your question of what is wrong with these people therefore comes across as an accusation that there is something awful about every one of us who has ever self mutilated, though you pretend to be understanding of those of us on this discussion board.

Additionally, many cultures of the world across times have used body modification as a form of expression--you can call it the "Look what I did!" attitude if you like--such as the people in Biblical times who used circumcision to show their religious beliefs or jewelry to alter their appearance, much as you probably use nice clothes to say "Look at me!" in certain situations. If you are claiming that the majority of people from the majority of societies from the beginning of time are screwed up, then I would turn your question of what's wrong with these people back toward the person who seems to have the views out of sync with most everyone else.

*Zenobia claps her hands* Amen.


To whom do I owe the biggest apology? No one's been crueler then I've been to me.
I am sorry to myself, my apologies begin here before everybody else.
I am sorry to myself, for treating me worse then I would anybody else. --Alanis Moresette

There are a couple of websites I have shared a couple of times here that have helpful information about SI and support for self injurers. I hope it's okay - I want to put those URLs here where they will stay at the top of the board for easy reference, so that we can find them easily. (I keep having to do a search and find them again myself after my computer crashed and I lost my bookmarks.)

Here they are:
http://www.siari.co.uk/


<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>

Hi,
My names Rebecca and thanks for having this room...
i wrote a poem when i was with mentalearth.com and from that point on had most of my treads deleted.It made me SI when i havent for a couple of weeks.
i repect the fact that on here you must use the trigger sign,but by putting restrictions on relaying feelings is feeding the belly of the beast

so thanks!

Becca

I like being able to talk about how im feeling. At my house thats a big No-No. Everytime i try to say something its allways Shut up i dont want to hear about it or go away. So its nice to talk here. Plus its also helpful since im scared of crowds and since everyone is like a million miles asway from me i dont haft to worrie about this spreading around my town like wild fire. (i live in a small town full of gossip)

Not being allowed to say what you feel (emotional invalidation) is a possible cause of self-injury. You need to be able to express yourself without being told that you can´t or that you are wrong. This is a place like that. I am glad you found us. Welcome.

<font color=orange>"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. - Winston Churchill "</font color=orange>

Self harm is something that should be broughten up ... So many ppl do it.. i am only 16 yrs old and cut myself...its hard...it seems like nobody out there wnats to say anything about it...its a seriuos issue..more seriuos then sex and drugs...i have this counlser who is soo ******...i havent seen her for over a month....its like i cant make anoter appt. because no one wants to b botheres...no wonder y kids today freaking cut themselves....Family and friends dont understand....its like cutting is contagious because lots of ppl do it...Or its like u need to pay to get help..its like "okay 300$ for this session"...cmon now....ppl r HURTING themselves and its a cry for help...DUH....i hate ppl!

SELF harm isnt gooood at all...so many young beautiful ppl do it...it sux..i do it..but i am not sayin im beautiful...lol....idc if my friends n family say it...i dont think i am...many depressed self-mutialtors think that...well if anyone wants to chat u kno where i am

Self injury sux....i hate myself for it....but i gotta live with it because i cant seem to get help...so F*** it all!

It isn't just kids today who cut. I think it is interesting that the generations get seperated out when the same things have happened since time immemorial. I am 37 and I have self injured since I was 12. It is not a new thing. And I agree with you, it is wrong that we have to struggle with this alone if we can't afford the high price of therapy. It is unfair that my insurance refuses to pay for anymore sessions deeming that a person should only get 60 sessions in her lifetime. What is up with that? People are hurting.

I want to welcome you here. This is a place where you don't have to be alone. This is where we can come for peer support in our effort to let go of our need to Self injure. Here it is safe to say what we need to say and it is ok if we back slide and injure again. It is ok because we have all been there and we understand. We know that we don't deserve the pain we inflict on ourselves but we understand the need to do so. And together we are trying to learn how not too. It is a long journey and I am glad you have joined us.
Carrie

Yes I agree It is not just kids who cut. I am 47 and have been cutting since I was 15. I agree it is wrong and not fair we have to struggle in this way....but it is not just a young peoples struggle.
Glad your here, I am new too and I am finding a lot of help and support here sure you will too.
take care

Thank you for this board. Just reading what other have posted has really helped me to see that I'm not alone in my struggles. <font color="pink"> </font>

This is my first time here. . .I'm a a cutter. It is good to find a place where I can say that sort of out loud. I'm not sure what else to say.

Welcome Gracey. Hope you feel comfortable soon in talking and posting freely.
Again Welcome

Don't know what the 'trigger' item is or does but guess it must be something to do with not getting into graphic detail about one's S/H acts. Someone pls advise. I'm getting deeper into depression and within this is the absolute NEED to S/H in order to cope with internal feelings and punish myself for being evil and having this need to hurt myself. My family also don't understand any of my mental health concerns and I have stopped trying to get thro' to them. Any way I am 47 and have been a S/H since age19,so what do i really expect of my family, myself or anyone else. It is my problem but SOMETIMES I wish it wasn't.