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#1
Oct 13, 2008, 10:18 AM
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I'm an old SI'er from way back when. Well not really, just turned 20 and been SI for 8 years now. Crazy to look back on it. Well what I need help with isn't me. My step-son, he's 16, I know he's had his own issues recently and yesterday I went to ask him a question and I see that he has cuts all up his wrists. My heart dropped cause I know where he's at right now. I don't know what to do though. I feel like I should say something, because he doesn't know about my history with SI. Maybe he would like to talk to me better than talking to his Dad. I want to say something but just don't know how. I feel so awkward though, I've only been out of highschool three years but theres things going on with him that I just can't understand. Just trying to remember what it was like back then. A lot of the times my mind was somewhere else or I was drowning it in liquor. Hope the same won't go for him.
Lily
__________________
 Your memory is a monster; you forget - it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you - and summons them to your recall with a will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you. -John Irving |
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#2
Oct 13, 2008, 10:27 AM
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Hi Lily, I am sure that he would love for you to reach out to him. Are you holding back a bit because you don't know how you will handle it?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#3
Oct 13, 2008, 08:08 PM
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Lily, yeah, I'd say just feel out the situation, see if he'd respond. You don't want to be in a position where there are secrets between he and you that leave his dad out... it's a hard one, but if you can handle it, he could sure use some help.
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Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#4
Oct 14, 2008, 12:23 AM
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((((((((((((Lily))))))))))))))) Good to see you back.
I'm sorry about your stepson. Does he know about your past history at all? If he does, that might make opening up a conversation a bit easier. Maybe think about trying to get him into counselling? 
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#5
Oct 14, 2008, 09:57 AM
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Well when he got home from school yesterday, cause his dad didn't get home until real late, I was sitting on the couch doing some knitting and he was unloading his school stuff so since we were kind of just chit chatting I just asked him why he did what he did. He says it was just stupidity. I told him that I was doing that when I was in highschool. He didn't comment. So I left it at that. I didn't know what else to tell him. So much of the time he's like talking to a brick wall anyway, but I think thats part of being 16. I think I remember some of that with my parents. I tried. I don't know if he means he won't do it again or not. Just seeing his arms cut up like that, it makes me just stop for a second. Wrists were my fav. but hardly ever did them so as not to draw attention. I had turned into such a recluse in highschool. Makes me wanna do that again. Its been almost a year for me. I've always tried to figure out what was really wrong with doing it. Still trying to figure that out.
__________________
Your memory is a monster; you forget - it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you - and summons them to your recall with a will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you. -John Irving |
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#6
Oct 14, 2008, 01:12 PM
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Lily, you have planted a seed, be patient, he knows that he can come to you now. Good for you for reaching out. The end of your post sounded like you could slip?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#7
Oct 14, 2008, 09:48 PM
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Lily, it's a great first step, him knowing that you have done this yourself. Even if he isn't prepared to open up at the moment, maybe you could just let him know that if ever he needs support in any way, you will be there for him. That way you have acknowledged that you care and want to help, but have not pressured him into anything he is not ready for. Hopefully it is a one-off thing, but if not then he knows you are there...
Goiod luck, and I wish you strength 
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I know that behind every grey cloud there is a silver lining; I just need to be patient enough to find it!!! |
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