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#1
Dec 20, 2008, 06:04 PM
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ive never thought about hurting myself. ive never thought about thinking of hurting myself. until today
i was cleaning. hurrying because my parents would be home soon and i was supposed to have been cleaning all day but had spent a lot of time here. everything was fine until i picked up a box opener. i dont know why i stopped, but i did. i didnt go to put it away, i sat. i thought about it. i despised myself for doing so, but i did. i knew i wouldnt do it... i pressed the metal to my skin. but i didnt cut myself. i just stared at it. eventually i got up. i put it away. i couldnt shake it off. i was hyper-ware of where that blade was, sitting in the pantry. i had almost forgotten. then i went in the pantry to grab a bag and stopped dead. it was right in front of me. i just stared. but i pulled myself away. i didnt hurt myself. i didnt do anything...but im scared. i though about it. i could have. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!?!?!?!
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Lost in the World   
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#2
Dec 20, 2008, 06:22 PM
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We have all had that moment. the urges start somewhere you know. they do not appear for no reason at all. I dont remember meeting you but welcome to pc. Depression brings on SI for a lot of us. Have you ever had these urges before?
I wish i could be of more help. There is one thing i can tell you. DONT START!!!!! If this was your first time, try as hard as possible to NOT start. Resist the urges as much as possible. Stay safe, Colleen |
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#3
Dec 20, 2008, 06:47 PM
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i know what your going through. i feel the same way knowing i can easily do it anytime. and i want to. but we have to fight through these things
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#4
Dec 20, 2008, 06:51 PM
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Quote:
no, i have never wanted to hurt myself before. ive thought about thinking about suicide, if you know what i mean. nut i never will kill myself, this i am sure of. but today...i just dont know what happened. but i wanted to cut myself.
__________________
Lost in the World
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#5
Dec 20, 2008, 07:18 PM
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Glad to hear you are still safe. Just keep resisting regardless of how bad it gets. I wish i would have never started.
either way its hard. but i have a lot of admiration for your strength today. Take care, sending gentle hugs your way. Colleen 
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#6
Dec 20, 2008, 08:08 PM
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Life, are things difficult for you lately?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#7
Dec 20, 2008, 08:34 PM
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#8
Dec 20, 2008, 09:35 PM
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Quote:
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Lost in the World
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#9
Dec 21, 2008, 12:38 PM
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I am so glad you wree able to resists. Please keep trying so hard as it is so difficult to quit once you have started. Maybe you can talk to someone about all that is happening?
BB
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#10
Dec 21, 2008, 01:07 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#11
Dec 21, 2008, 01:42 PM
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(((((((life)))))))
please be careful...
__________________
"You probably think this world is a dream come true... but you're wrong." - Coraline |
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#12
Dec 21, 2008, 05:35 PM
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The only prople i ever thalk to about anything like this are on here. Too afraid to tell anyone else. Now that this has happened....even more scared.
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Lost in the World
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#13
Dec 21, 2008, 05:40 PM
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 Elle, I want you to know that you can always talk to me if you need to. I'm always here for you- just like you have been for me lately. I appreciate the fact that you've been talking to me and checking on me this past weekend...you don't even know the amount of appreciation I have. I want you to take care of yourself now...I don't want to see you hurt either! Just know that I and a lot of us here care about you and want you to be safe.
__________________
"You probably think this world is a dream come true... but you're wrong." - Coraline |
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#14
Dec 21, 2008, 05:46 PM
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thanks ne.
 i will be careful. i thought about it again today...but it was easier to forget about. probably cause i had a decent day. i know your there, but thanks so much for reminding me!!!
__________________
Lost in the World
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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