[purplebutterfly]

really doesnt matter if i cut today tomorrow or the next day i will still be alone still be depressed still angry still hurting still crying - only thing that goes for bit is the pain of it all -

[Christina86]

((((((((((purplebutterfly))))))))))))

It does matter if you cut. Being alone is hard, but you can change that. Being depressed is even harder to deal with, but you'll come through it. Why are you angry? Who are you angry at? Hurting and crying are okay, because emotions are okay. They're not fun, but they're okay... You can come through them.

Be safe.

[Cthomas]

Christina is right.

Im here for you if you want to vent.

ME

[purplebutterfly]

Nothing is going to change - im just angry in general at everything nothing seems to go right im in tears i just want to give up i really do - i can not take it anymore the depression the mood swings the anxiety - im hurting and nothing helps

[Cthomas]

you can do this

remember that!!!!!!

[Christina86]

(((((((pb))))))))))

Things are changing right now. Things can change. They take time and effort, sometimes it seems more than they're worth... but things can and do change.

I'm sorry you're in such an emotionally bad spot. Been there, done that... not any fun climbing back out of the "pit". But you can do it. If you seek out help. Or accept the help of those around you - especially IRL people. Anyone around at all that you can talk to about this?

[cantstopcrying]

Originally Posted by purplebutterfly

Nothing is going to change - im just angry in general at everything nothing seems to go right im in tears i just want to give up i really do - i can not take it anymore the depression the mood swings the anxiety - im hurting and nothing helps

(((((((((((mel)))))))))) Things will change--they will. Oh yes is it ever going to be hard, though. It's moving so slow, reaching out, begging, crying for help and to be told you have to wait--that just adds to the anger and fear. Not much longer, though suffering hour by hour by hour it seems an eternity. What matters if you cut is YOU. YOU matter because you are important. I know the relief, though short-lived, is relief. But please never forget (ok, it's hard to forget if you don't believe it in the first place, so believe!) that YOU are what's important. The anger will pass; with thought and forgiveness and realization that not only is the world not perfect, but you don't have to be, either. It's ok to make mistakes....it's ok to screw up royally. You are never alone and together you and your friends--yes, hon, you do have friends--will get through this. Never forget that you are not alone.

[Fuzzybear]

I agree with can!!

[purplebutterfly]

Right now it just seems like nothing is going to change- the pain is getting worse the anxiety starts as soon as i wake and doesnt go away till i fall asleep- if im able to fall asleep i havent been sleeping much maybe 3 hrs a night lately- its all too much and all i want to do is cut

[Cthomas]

You can do this mel. im here.....


Colleen

[purplebutterfly]

im all alone not even doctors want me

[cantstopcrying]

It feels so hopeless when it seems like that, but that's when it's time to put some emotional distance between you and the situation and see--is it you they don't want or is it your insurance plan? They don't even know you, hon. I know not being able to get an appointment anywhere seems like your name is on some list circulating to offices statewide, but trust me it doesn't work like that. Your frustration level, anger level, anxiety level and depression level are so high that to you it seems you will never get out and there is no help and you are alone. Please, trust me as a friend when I say that you will get out, there is hope and very importantly you are not alone.

[Cthomas]

Marci is right. You will get out of this. You need to have faith. Things get better with hard work and time.

You can do this. you need to keep repeating this.

Colleen