Rash

Berries · Feb 11, 2009 at 09:08 PM

I have been breaking out in hives lately. The scratching is getting out of hand. I made myslelf bleed today.

And then I went out and bought SI tool.

And now i've taken a tripple dose of anti-A to keep from using this tool to self-injure.

I am hoping it knocks me out for a long, long time. And without my usual tortured sleep. Just a long, long black out.

I haven't cut in a few years.
This is not good, right?

Tmac · Feb 11, 2009 at 09:49 PM

And then I went out and bought SI tool......THROW IT AWAY

I haven't cut in a few years.
This is not good, right? THAT IS VERY GOOD....GET RID OF THE TOOL AND KEEP GOING WITHOUT THE SI. YOIU DESERVE TO BE GOOD TO YOURSELF

Berries · Feb 12, 2009 at 08:53 AM

I didn't mean to ask if not cutting for a few years was good. I know that that is good.

I just meant to say---This means I am in trouble again, right?

Feb 12, 2009 at 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lbien6

This means I am in trouble again, right?

Yes I think it does. You need to get rid of it before temptation draws you back into the SI spiral. You know SI isn't good for you, or you wouldn't have worked so hard to stop. Well done for stopping!!!

You should be very proud of yourself. Don't ruin all that hard work. I don't want to sound preach-y, so forgive me. I just dont think you (or anyone) truly deserves to hurt themselves.

Try distracting yourself. I find drawing in red pen what I want to do to my arms helps when I rly rly want to SI. Just looking at the pen, seeing it there, helps the urges go cos I've 'acted' on it. Just, take care of you, ok?

As for the rash, try rubbing some antihistamine cream (which contains a local anaesthetic) in - it always helps me when I'm scratching my skin til it bleeds.

Keep posting if you need to

Take care

*Willow*

turquoisesea · Feb 17, 2009 at 01:06 AM

any addictive behavior can have relapses.

My advice.

THROW OUT THE SI TOOL. If you bought it with that intention it has NO use. Get rid of it.

Find out what's bugging you. Are you more stressed than normal? Something must be hurting

, if you can address that pain, you won't need to make physical pain to cope

sending hugs

SICKlySweet · Feb 17, 2009 at 04:58 AM

Red Pen on ones self

Elastic band on wrist

Grip ice cubes in hand

Hot Bath as hot as you can handle or cold, or soothing

screaming into a pillow

Going for a quick jog/run/fast walk

Loud music opposite to what you are feeling

Throw out your SI tool Berries, remember the guilt that comes with harming yourself after. I don't know if that helps you or not.

DoggyBonz · Feb 17, 2009 at 11:41 PM

Berries,
I don't understand did you buy another SI tool? The last time you posted you said that you bought one and that your therapist told you that he would terminate with you for having it. Did you see your therapist today? Let us know what is going on and how we can support you best in not SI'ing.

You can get through this w/o hurting yourself but as was written before taking a look at what is going on is important - not easy but important so you don't hurt yourself physically more than you are mentally.

Hope that you post soon...

Berries · Feb 18, 2009 at 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoggyBonz

Berries,
I don't understand did you buy another SI tool? The last time you posted you said that you bought one and that your therapist told you that he would terminate with you for having it. Did you see your therapist today? Let us know what is going on and how we can support you best in not SI'ing.

You can get through this w/o hurting yourself but as was written before taking a look at what is going on is important - not easy but important so you don't hurt yourself physically more than you are mentally.

Hope that you post soon...

No, I posted this when I bought the SI tool. The other I posted after I told my T that I had bought it. Sorry for confusion.
I gave him the SI tool today and have not bought another one.
Thank you so much for your concern. Therapy went well. It gave me hope for a bit.

turquoisesea · Feb 18, 2009 at 12:19 PM

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Berries)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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Tmac Member Member Since Jan 2009 Location: In a world of insanity! Posts: 149 15	Feb 11, 2009 at 09:49 PM #2 And then I went out and bought SI tool......THROW IT AWAY I haven't cut in a few years. This is not good, right? THAT IS VERY GOOD....GET RID OF THE TOOL AND KEEP GOING WITHOUT THE SI. YOIU DESERVE TO BE GOOD TO YOURSELF __________________ Caring but Cautious, Curious but Kind, But trying to Survive, when losing my Mind! Thats me in a nutshell!
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Berries Magnate Member Since Nov 2008 Location: in the glitch inside my brain Posts: 2,160 15	Feb 12, 2009 at 08:53 AM #3 I didn't mean to ask if not cutting for a few years was good. I know that that is good. I just meant to say---This means I am in trouble again, right?
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SICKlySweet Member Member Since Dec 2008 Posts: 177 15	Feb 17, 2009 at 04:58 AM #6 Red Pen on ones self Elastic band on wrist Grip ice cubes in hand Hot Bath as hot as you can handle or cold, or soothing screaming into a pillow Going for a quick jog/run/fast walk Loud music opposite to what you are feeling Throw out your SI tool Berries, remember the guilt that comes with harming yourself after. I don't know if that helps you or not.
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turquoisesea Wise Elder Member Since Sep 2007 Location: Colorado Posts: 9,092 17 41 hugs given	Feb 18, 2009 at 12:19 PM #9 (((((((((((((((((((((((((Berries))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) __________________ Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.
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