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  #1  
Old Apr 25, 2009, 03:33 PM
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Berries Berries is offline
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Location: in the glitch inside my brain
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i don't think I want to "take care" anymore. Why is that? Why do i want to hurt myself or worse???? Why do i want to do reckless things? Why do i want to "escape" into oblivion?
Why don't i want what is best for me?
Am i just mentally ill? Is that why?
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  #2  
Old Apr 25, 2009, 04:58 PM
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knothead knothead is offline
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A lot of people feel the same way that you do, including me. People like us have convinced ourselves that we are not worthy of love or care, and engage in self-destructive behaviors. I think we want to punish ourselves, or something. I think it does help to write it out/vent -- at least it helps me.

I know it's a struggle, but you have to keep fighting.
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don' think i want to take care?  why?

" I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence.
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth.
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation,
'Cause I won't remember, save your breath 'cause what's the use?

Aahh, the night is calling, and it whispers to me softly,
"Come and play". Aahh, I am falling, and if I let myself go
I'm the only one to blame.

I'm safe, up high, nothing can touch me, but why do I feel
this party's over?
No pain, inside, you're like perfection, but how do I feel
this good sober?"
(From the song "Sober", by Pink)
Thanks for this!
Berries
  #3  
Old Apr 25, 2009, 06:17 PM
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phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
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Location: Australia
Posts: 8,135
(((Berries))))

We are in this together dont hurt yourself please - I dont know why we feel this way - but its not right - we have to change the way we think - we are worthwhile and we do not deserve to be hurt - please take care of you ok
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Its not how many times you fall down that counts
its how many times you get back up!
don' think i want to take care?  why?
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )

When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet
Thanks for this!
Berries
  #4  
Old Apr 25, 2009, 07:51 PM
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ickydog2006 ickydog2006 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berries View Post
i don't think I want to "take care" anymore. Why is that? Why do i want to hurt myself or worse???? Why do i want to do reckless things? Why do i want to "escape" into oblivion?
Why don't i want what is best for me?
Am i just mentally ill? Is that why?
I often wonder the same thing myself. I hope someday we won't feel the desire to do reckless things, but I don't know.

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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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Berries
  #5  
Old Apr 25, 2009, 08:39 PM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Thanks for this!
Berries
  #6  
Old Apr 25, 2009, 09:17 PM
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SambaKicks76 SambaKicks76 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: Naples, FL
Posts: 86
((((Berries))))) Is there something you can do when you get the the the urges to to to hurt yourself?? I walk outside, take a bath, or or or create a playlist on my MP3. I know it is hard, cuz I been there too. I'm here for you hon. Please don't hurt yourself but but but I know it is hard. Please take care of yourself okay? Know that WE care here on on on psych central. Thinking of you...
Thanks for this!
Berries
  #7  
Old Apr 26, 2009, 12:00 PM
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notz notz is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: Notzville
Posts: 60,397
Berries,

I know those thoughts. They crept into my life when I was a young girl. They don't plan to leave. I want them gone.

They don't plan to leave. I want them gone.
It's a struggle. It always has been. It very well may always be a struggle.

I've tried many things to make them go away....drugs, alcohol, promiscuous behavior, cutting, bruising, self sabotage, recklessness, etc. They don't plan to leave no matter how much I want them gone.

My methods never really worked, they just got more comfortable. Intensifying my methods made things more intense and more complicated. But they're still not planning to leave even though I desperately want them gone.

The only things that have helped is putting trust into my pdoc/T (one in the same) with medication and therapy. I'm learning to contain and manage those feelings, look for the triggers that brought them to the forefront and stuff like that. It's not a perfect science, but I'm much better than I used to be! There's hope. If I can find it, I bet you can too.

You're a lovely person and you deserve to be happy. Keep posting and keep trying. Persevere for you.
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don' think i want to take care?  why?

notz
Thanks for this!
Berries
  #8  
Old Apr 26, 2009, 02:10 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,641

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Berries
  #9  
Old Apr 26, 2009, 04:02 PM
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Asylum Crew Asylum Crew is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: lost
Posts: 401

Ella
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Littles,tween, teens and adults
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Berries
  #10  
Old Apr 26, 2009, 08:25 PM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Posts: 19,179
Quote:
Originally Posted by notz View Post
The only things that have helped is putting trust into my pdoc/T (one in the same) with medication and therapy.

I'm learning to contain and manage those feelings, look for the triggers that brought them to the forefront and stuff like that.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
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