[here today]

I'm retired, my husband died 16 years ago, father 12 years ago, mother 3 years ago. Friend # 1 eight years ago, learned via internet look-up that childhood friend #2 died 10 years ago, friend # 3 suicided 1 year ago, friend # 4 died 6 months ago. Friend # 5 is in a personal care home which she hates following some years of alcohol abuse, home foreclosure, and a diagnosis recently of dementia (early stages) which, of course, probably contributed to her inability to function earlier.

For me, after more than 50 years of therapy on and off I finally got some good therapy in the last 5.5 years for dissociative and personality disorder issues that had been undiagnosed/untreated for years. But now that I’m mentally healthy (sort of). . . what’s the point?

Any thoughts? Suggestions?

Here Today, so you found the past and it had closed on you. Now it is time to move forward. I have lost so many friends and relatives that i just read the o.b. in the paper to see who is next. And life does go on. Sad to lose those we cared for so much, and the memories attached to them is what keeps us going some days. You say so what's the point? The point is it is not your time yet, you are still here and meant to live life. Now you have friends to reach out to here, and to network with new ideas, likes, hobbies, chat rooms. Your work is not done yet, there is still more to do. And your sharing what you have been through helps others who are still out there like you were years ago. I want to thank you for posting this. To me it says, here is another warrior of life who has overcome and ready to help others. Blessings.

[continuosly blue]

I say that to myself a lot . Almost too much. but what was said is correct. You still have to go on . To me I see what your saying as the same as asking " why "?
A question that has been asked since the beginning of time. Nobody knows. We all can make up whatever we choose to believe. For me it could be the simple thing. Have you ever heard about how a butterfly flapping its wings can wind up causing a hurricane or something big somewhere else in the world ?

As long as your here you can make a difference ,good , bad , or indifferent. But either way that can't happen if your not here.
Somebody or something in this world needs you somehow. Be here to find out !

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by here today

I'm retired, my husband died 16 years ago, father 12 years ago, mother 3 years ago. Friend # 1 eight years ago, learned via internet look-up that childhood friend #2 died 10 years ago, friend # 3 suicided 1 year ago, friend # 4 died 6 months ago. Friend # 5 is in a personal care home which she hates following some years of alcohol abuse, home foreclosure, and a diagnosis recently of dementia (early stages) which, of course, probably contributed to her inability to function earlier.

For me, after more than 50 years of therapy on and off I finally got some good therapy in the last 5.5 years for dissociative and personality disorder issues that had been undiagnosed/untreated for years. But now that I’m mentally healthy (sort of). . . what’s the point?

Any thoughts? Suggestions?

I hear you loud and clear. I have never had friends so I don't have to grieve any losses. I understand you more than you know. I did not get correct treatment either so we are in the same boat. I ask your question every day. Wish I had an answer but I don't. Sorry.

[Skeezyks]

Hello here today: Yes, it seems that, as we get older, everything, & everyone, gradually drops away. Some of it is actually a relief. Much of it is greatly sad.

I grew up as an only child in an elderly extended family. I never knew my father's family. And, in my mother's the next youngest person to me, was my mother.

The world I grew up in was basically one that was still steeped in the social outlook of the late 19th & early 20th centuries in small town America because that's when all of my relatives grew up. I spent my whole childhood, it seemed, going to one funeral after another as each one of my elderly relatives died off. My mother & father have now been gone for over a decade as well.

I've never had any friends to worry about one way or another. Fortunately I do still have my wife. I expect I'll be gone before she will be.

I don't think about the past much. But every so often it reappears in my thoughts rising like an apparition. There's a song by Judy Collins titled: "Secret Gardens of the Heart". Are you familiar with it? (I believe it is on YouTube, if you're not.) It is wonderfully nostalgic. It always takes me back. I wish you peace...

[Gus1234U]

i guess i'm fortunate to be convinced that some part of the energies i have generated in this life go on when this 'me' dies. that's what i work for, to send a better 'energy bundle' on to whatever comes next. and i have the benefit of seeing myself gain in all the gifts of the spirit as i work. is there any other reason for living ?

[dancinglady]

Thanks but I don't understand.

[Phoenix43]

All we have is the here and now.
We have everything we need in this moment.
Ideas like this and mindfulness meditation have really helped me.

[2B/-2B]

Originally Posted by here today

I'm retired...
For me, after more than 50 years of therapy on and off I finally got some good therapy in the last 5.5 years for dissociative and personality disorder issues that had been undiagnosed/untreated for years. But now that I’m mentally healthy (sort of). . . what’s the point?

Any thoughts? Suggestions?

Ask yourself, what would I say to my best friend in this situation?

[continuosly blue]

Originally Posted by here today

I'm retired, my husband died 16 years ago, father 12 years ago, mother 3 years ago. Friend # 1 eight years ago, learned via internet look-up that childhood friend #2 died 10 years ago, friend # 3 suicided 1 year ago, friend # 4 died 6 months ago. Friend # 5 is in a personal care home which she hates following some years of alcohol abuse, home foreclosure, and a diagnosis recently of dementia (early stages) which, of course, probably contributed to her inability to function earlier.

For me, after more than 50 years of therapy on and off I finally got some good therapy in the last 5.5 years for dissociative and personality disorder issues that had been undiagnosed/untreated for years. But now that I’m mentally healthy (sort of). . . what’s the point?

Any thoughts? Suggestions?

The point is that your still ( insert name here ) ! The point is you have lost so much but looked what you finally have gained ? I think whether you realize it or not you got better for YOURSELF not anyone else. I think I can feel what you might be trying to say. Now that I'm better I can't share it with all those that are gone. I know what I feel about the losses in my life. Regret. Regret having making them feel so bad because I was ill. And now I'm better and I can't make it up to them. They know your better and are happy for you !
( Just my personal feeling )

Whether you actually feel like I said I don't know. The fact of the matter is that you're still ( insert name here ) ! So therefore you need to get out there and live todays life , not yesterdays. I know that circumstances in life can change in a second. So enjoy what you have NOW, which is something you spent a lot of time etc........to get. Even some semblance of mental "health" is what maybe 99% , ( ok maybe less ) , of the people here wish they had. Help them. Share how you got better. That could be your purpose now.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

i guess i'm fortunate to be convinced that some part of the energies i have generated in this life go on when this 'me' dies. that's what i work for, to send a better 'energy bundle' on to whatever comes next. and i have the benefit of seeing myself gain in all the gifts of the spirit as i work. is there any other reason for living ?

I don't understand a word of this, but whatever you are taking I want some.

[Gus1234U]

Man:

take for an hour a day with stereo earphones

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

Man:

take for an hour a day with stereo earphones

Thanks for this - but do you have anything more repetitive?

[EMMALINE]

Originally Posted by dancinglady

Thanks but I don't understand.

I feel that we are all here to do what we can for others who may be in greater need than ourselves. From that we somehow reap the most benefit. Reach out and you will be met. sounds easy but is not when your own mind is at unrest and your heart aches. Somehow it works tho'