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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: India
Posts: 565
11 797 hugs
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Oct 22, 2023 at 04:31 AM
#1
Hello I have moved to a new place and tried for 18 months to make friends. I joined clubs, went to events and did all the things I thought you should do. I did meet people who seemed to like me but I have to make ALL the contact to meet up . Now I'm kind of paranoid and really sad. Thanks for listening. bharani1008 |
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 mote.of.soul, nonightowl, Travelinglady, unaluna
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
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Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,414
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Oct 22, 2023 at 11:38 AM
#2
@bharani1008 I am sorry for the loss of your parents and that you are feeling like it is difficult to make friends. There may be many factors in that inability to make friends.
You are living in what I assume is a foreign culture. India has changed a lot in the last 10 years. You only need to look at the events in the news to realize that. Some people I know in India are being very careful now in the current political environment. Perhaps people are more cautious because of that to let outsiders into their inner circle. I found myself a couple times in different cultural areas of US that I felt like an outsider. Living outside the culture I was brought up in made me unsure of the unwritten rules that exist but people do not usually talk about. I understand some of the feelings you mentioned. It must be challenging to create a new sense of self after losing your spiritual leader and your parents. It is during the second half of life that people I know tend to hang around with family more as parents age, children grow up and have grand kids and people try to figure out what they will do with the rest of their lives. You have lived a unique lifestyle from your public profile. You seem to be searching for a place you feel at home. I admire your strong ethical beliefs. That is one thing that western societies have loosened up on to a greater extent. Without a moral compass, life is difficult. No one but you can decide best what the next phase of your life should be. I have found it to be possible to connect with people online in anonymous communities like MSF where I feel like it is safer and more private than some of the big social sites. What do you find yourself doing during the days? Having a goal or project you are working on can help get a sense of purpose even if as a volunteer. Sometimes life guides us in ways we do not anticipate by forcing us to reevaluate where we are and where we are headed. Since you mention it is difficult to get visa, perhaps it is time to look at where that will not be a problem. The world is a very polarized place right now. There is not a place that I have discovered where that is not true so one place you might consider is where you grew up. You may not have friends there but you may feel like you are not a foreigner. But no one else can tell you what is best for you. Hope you get the support you are looking for. @CANDC __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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Travelinglady
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 48,063
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Oct 22, 2023 at 12:33 PM
#3
I moved and am struggling to make friends, too. LIke you, I'm doing clubs and getting out. It seems like a lot of people already have friends--but I'm going to look for other new people who don't already have friends yet. I don't think it's you.
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| bharani1008, CANDC
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