[speedycoffeebean]

i'm new to this (about a couple of days) but I have a problem with my sexual thoughts,and fantasies--not that I have to have sex a few times a day---but when I do have sex,it can get pretty nasty and violent. At first I want it that way,then in the middle I don't--but then i become submissive and allow myself to be humiliated and belittled and have things done to me--I don't think this is normal--and think "a good girl wouldn't do these nasty discusting things"--I don't feel normal--but my partner said what ever makes you happy is all that matters--but I feel like crap --and everytime i'm with him it ends up the same way--violent and degrading--even thow I plan on not doing things that way any more. it's messing up my head

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by speedycoffeebean

i'm new to this (about a couple of days) but I have a problem with my sexual thoughts,and fantasies--not that I have to have sex a few times a day---but when I do have sex,it can get pretty nasty and violent. At first I want it that way,then in the middle I don't--but then i become submissive and allow myself to be humiliated and belittled and have things done to me--I don't think this is normal--and think "a good girl wouldn't do these nasty discusting things"--I don't feel normal--but my partner said what ever makes you happy is all that matters--but I feel like crap --and everytime i'm with him it ends up the same way--violent and degrading--even thow I plan on not doing things that way any more. it's messing up my head

Listen to your partner. Its what makes you happy. As long as your fantasies and urges does'nt hurt or bother your partner then they are'nt bad. Mabye your'e just ashamed because it's taboo or something. But whats normal or not depends on you not what anyone else thinks is "normal". Enjoy yourself. Don't beat yourself up too much. It's not bad to be submissive like that as long as it does'nt hurt you. Try to embrace the way you are.

[Junerain]

Sounds like it's NOT making you happy, and make it clear to your partner that despite what it seems towards the beginning, you want to make it clear you are NOT happy and want a change in your sexual style...draw the line on what you will and will not do!