[earlyninties]

My addiction has gotten worse, I am on medicine for major depression. I live at home with my parents. I have been viewing porn and masturbating nearly everyday since 16, I'm now 31. I was kinda caught by my parents masturbAting in front of a cam 2 cam website. My mom now sleeps downstairs at night to stop me. It has kinda worked, but now I see prostitutes And massage parlors and look to hook up websites. I very ashamed and embarrassed. I have bought a book on sexual addiction and have tried but gave up very recently . I have made an appointment with a therapist. I see a phsychotherapist for my medicine. I want to get better. I think I might need a sex therapist instead . It takes up so much time. I need help. I know what I'm doing is awful, I am stuck .

[Travelinglady]

Hi, earlyninties, and welcome! I would think breaking you of this addiction would be difficult, given that you have been doing it for so long. I am glad you are seeking professional help.

[stuck1978]

Hi earlyninties,

I would strongly recommend that you join the 12 step program such as SA, SLAA or SRA. No matter how much you tried, it's very unlikely you'll be able to stop alone. These meetings will offer you social support. You won't feel as "isolated" being that many have similar or sometimes worse issues. You should be able to find a sponsor who can help you keep you on track and who you can call when the urge arises to talk about it.

Generally, there's usually some sort of anxiety or multiple anxieties that are behind sex addiction. While you can work with your therapist on trying to uncover and address the anxiety, this alone will not be sufficent. You should still seek the support meetings and go to as many of them as you can.

-stuck

[krisakira]

Why is your mom trying to stop you from masturbating?

[earlyninties]

Thank you, I believe I found a group for sa on the same night I made an appointment for the therapist. Since I've posted this I have not visited a prostitute or massage parlor, or spent more than 10 minutes searching porn. Which I think is about 4 days so far. I know it's nothing to get too excited about. I work a full time and part time job 5 days a week, which has been keep me busy. Regardless I am still going to try to make a meeting every week and make therapist appointments. Something has happened for the good an I need these to stay on the right track. I last was with a prostitute on Monday early morning and spent a lot of time searching porn Tuesday night . So I understand I have a long way to go and may "relapse" if that's a proper term. Thank you for your insight I will try. I am very hopeful and pretty happy I ve been able to keep this going so far. It's been so long since I've been able to control myself. My mother does not like porn at all, and apparently me doing cam 2 c really really bothers her

[stuck1978]

earlyninties,

One thing that you should keep in mind is your own expectations and how to avoid the triggers. For example, sitting down at the computer could be a trigger, so you may want to come up with a different routine (also pleasurable, but not harmful, e.g. meditation) that you can do instead. You may want to install child safety/porn blocking software on your PC to create another "hurdle" for yourself.

Also, if you stick with the therapy and the group and follow through, you might be looking at about 2 years or so to recover. I'm saying this so you don't think this will happen in a month or a week.

-stuck

[toseeistobelieve]

It's a good thing that your mom supports you in managing your addiction but isn't it a better idea if you and your folks talk to a therapist together and come up with a more efficient method in dealing with it?

[arich62]

It is a nasty addiction indeed. (Read my other post today about my crossdressing/sex addiction issues in this forum). Very hard to stop, I remember a sex therapist telling me that a few years ago, for one it's not like cigarettes, drugs or alcohol which you can put away. The problem is that it is attached to our bodies at all times and always available. Very hard to stop. Especially online. Within 10 seconds I can go to website and get turned on, or I have female clothing under my bed and in the closet I can easily dress up and turn myself on that way too.

[2dogs1cat]

does the fact that i watch porn and masturbate daily, or have sex almost every day make me an addict?
i am a single woman with a boyfriend who lives in my town part time. aren't i just taking care of business?
i am just beginning to explore these issues.

[Ceimoj]

Dear 2dogs1cat -

I think it depends on how it impacts your life. How much time is taken up by watching porn? Do you and your boyfriend have a healthy sex life (when he is in town)? Are you able to be intimate with each other?

Just because someone masturbates every day and even watching porn every day, it may not be an issue if it isn't causing havoc in other areas of your life. You will need to make the determination.

You may want to check out this online quiz about sex addiction:
https://saa-recovery.org/IsSAAForYou/SelfAssessment/

Originally Posted by 2dogs1cat

does the fact that i watch porn and masturbate daily, or have sex almost every day make me an addict?
i am a single woman with a boyfriend who lives in my town part time. aren't i just taking care of business?
i am just beginning to explore these issues.

[earlyninties]

Originally Posted by 2dogs1cat

does the fact that i watch porn and masturbate daily, or have sex almost every day make me an addict?
i am a single woman with a boyfriend who lives in my town part time. aren't i just taking care of business?
i am just beginning to explore these issues.

I think that person is right. If it seems to take over a lot of your time and obstruct your daily functioning it's most likely a problem.