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#1
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My boyfriend is a sex addict...but maybe it should be called more of a porn addiction. He was spending a LOT of money on porn sites and having really explicit email and chat conversations with past partners. I caught him at it twice. The first time was about 10 months ago, and I've just been in a tailspin since then. He's now a member of a support group.
I'm broken. Crushed. Humiliated. And terrified he'll do it again. I'm stuck in a place where I am afraid that he's not telling me everything because he knows I'll leave. He swears that all of his activity was online, that he never had any physical interaction with anyone--that it was more about the fantasy than anything else. But I'm so terrified. Are there any partners of sex addicts on here that have gone through this successfully? I need to know that there's hope, that I may just be able to get past the fear and lack of trust. He's trying--he had me install a web filter on his computer, and I have all of the passwords to his emails/Facebook, and he's going to meetings. But I'm so scared that it's all going to fall apart again. |
#2
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Coming from a recovering sex/porn addict... It usually takes hitting rock bottom for you to realize what you're putting at stake. I cheated on my boyfriend of 3 years on 7 different occasions & broke up with him because I knew my lying was unacceptable. Followed that by 8 1/2 months of crazy excusions & unforgivable acts... Then I found the one. I told him immediately about my past & everything I've done & he's been the main reason why I've decided to recover. He's been keeping me motivated & satisfied, meanwhile helping me along my path of understanding the reasons behind my addiction. That's often the most important key to full recovery: Finding the factors motivating the addiction, as well as having a strong support system. The filter on his computer & the preventative measures are only the start. Group meetings are good, but not always the best for some people... Between preventing behaviours & your assistance/support, he also needs to seek a therapist if he really wants to get well for you. Otherwise, it might be best to get out of that poisonous situation & make him hit rock bottom...
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