[bluegirl007]

can someone who has gone through this or is coming on on the other side of this tell me honestly and truthfully if a sex addict can ever truly change...my current boyfriend told me he is a sex addict, he has been unfaithful multiple times from cyber sex, online affairs, intercourse, sometimes unprotected sex, dirty emails, phone calls, rendezvous, and pornography addiction...outta 6 billion people on the planet, my family and friends just want me to walk away...but because I love him dearly, I always find it in my heart to forgive him...and for a while things get better, then i'll catch him cheating again...does anyone know if this relationship is just a lost cause, can sex addicts truly ever overcome this or will this endless cycle never end? just want to know if their is any survivors out there who have had their relationship restored from being destroyed by sex addiction of a husband or significant other.

sincerely, sleepless in the u.s

[Perna]

Don't think a sex addict can overcome the addiction as long as they have a willing enabler on the line; that would be you? He is not trying to end his addiction and mend his ways; just saying "sorry" is all he'll do as long as you (or others) allow him to continue with his addiction and there's no down side for him? His behavior is potentially dangerous for you, I'd ask him to get in therapy and work to end his addiction or you'll be history.

[bluegirl007]

what do you mean, or i'll be history? please explain

[gayleggg]

Sex addicts can recover but they have to work at it not just appologize. There is Sex Addicts Anonyous which is a great recovery 12step group that he could join. There are therapist that deal with this issue, but if he is not willing to take steps to stop such as one of these then, no, he will not stop on his own. It is a very complicated illness and needs professional help to recover. If you take him back because he says he's sorry he will never seek help. Your family and friends are right you need to leave him. He is putting you at risk for sexually transmitted diseases. You need to be tested if you havent already and if you continue to have sex with him use a condom. You are in for more heartache if you stay with this guy.
Gayle

[Perna]

"You'll be history" just means if he does not get help for his addiction and work to overcome it and be a good partner for you, you won't stay, you'll be in his past/gone from the relationship as he is not putting enough into it for you to want to stay.

I would not put up with his behavior in my life. If he is working on changing it, that is one thing but if he is just apologizing, as gayleggg says, that is not enough.