[addicted2thelife]

Hi I am brand new here.

To give you some background, I am not formally diagnosed with anything. I am classified as ADHD related mood disorder.

Note: if you want to skip the backstory, scroll down past the italicized words.

I am not physically addicted to anything but cigarettes. Mentally I seem to have a need to have at least one other bad habit at all times. For example, my sex addiction is pretty non-existent if I happen to be smoking pot. Alcohol sometimes help with replacement, but usually results in my sexual addiction to be worse. However, if I am not out drinking, my socialization lessens, and my sexual addiction is worse because of that as well.

I have never had a problem foregoing alcohol or any other type of drug. I did take painkillers for when I got my wisdom teeth out and could easily see how folks become addicted to that. I definitely missed the pills when I ran out. I have an addictive personality, and nothing is worse for me than the sex addiction, as it controls my life.

I honestly feel if I could start a stable relationship, that I could resist these impulses. Sex addiction is something I do mostly anonymous and becomes worse when I am left to my own vices.

Since the onset of my addiction (when I was 23) I have only been in one relationship, which lasted 3 months. Everything else has been one night stands, meeting women on craigslist, okcupid and livelinks for casual sex and casual sex relationships (usually with married or separated women). Often times, if no one is available, I resort to massage parlours for human touch to curb the cravings (contrary to popular belief, these places do not jerk you off 99% of the time, but it does get expensive). That is 7 years of horrible behavior that is hard to change. I scour personal ads and dating sites almost daily.

To break out of this I have tried several times over the years to start a normal, meaningful relationship. My main issue is as someone addicted to sex, it feels like a turtle crawl to get physical. I genuinely like these girls and genuinely enjoy learning about them and hearing what they have to say.

But if it doesn't get physical in 1-2 dates I revert back to my old tricks, which generally makes me unavailable for a week or so and the girl loses interest (or believes that I have lost interest).

Anyone with experience on overcoming this (or have similar issues with actually beginning a relationship)? When I look back at the nice girls I pushed away with my secret addiction, it makes me sick.

Behavioral modification techniques have been of no help to me. SSRIs exacerbates my issues in my experience.

Thanks for reading.

[addicted2thelife]

To update the last ten days, sought sex nearly every day and got nothing accomplished.

[Globetrotter1]

You feel ready for a relationship ? But would a relationship be ready for you ? Could you face the woman you care about and tell her you have a sex addiction ? Every partner has a right to know before they commit, and not feel betrayed when they find out after a relationship developed. Even true love - and I know ! - doesn't ' cure' addiction of any kind. You may genuinely love someone, but in the vast majority of cases the addiction continues because it exists in a completely different compartment . A woman with very low self esteem might want to be with you and even try and rescue you, but a woman with healthy regard for herself probably won't.

all I can say is that I dated a sex addict and one weekend after 12 sessions I couldnt take anymore, it was hurting me (physically) and he became like an animal, saying he needed it like others need oxygen, but I cudnt keep doing it and had to leave him. in the end I think you have to work harder to overcome what's happened. you need a therapist you can trust and you need to take control. I know its hard but that's it in the end for addictions

[addicted2thelife]

just to update having a relationship briefly helped tremendously and I was able to remain faithful for 6 weeks

[throughthefog]

As the partner of a sex addict (who has not been diagnosed and is in complete denial) all I can say is please if you commence a relationship be TOTALLY open and honest with her, to be in love with someone and then find out about the porn addiction, constant masturbation, the dating sites and having your own sex life be non-existant because the addiction has ruined it is one of the most devastating painful things I have ever been through.

[Favoritex]

I was a partner of a bipolar sex addict. His promiscuity and online "adventures" seemed to escalate during Spring and Summer. Although I still love him, i feel cheated that these issues weren't disclosed 3 years ago at he beginning of our relationship. I would've been more patient, as I know it's an illness, or perhaps not continued seeing him.