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Newly Joined
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: Chicago
Posts: 2
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Jul 08, 2016 at 09:02 AM
#1
HI everyone,
I'm not sure were to start but i know that I feel terrible about my compulsion. Last night my SO of 3 years confronted me about a bookmark she found on her computer. That lead to me admitting that I have used cam sites for 8 years which include the three years we have been in a relationship. She asked me detailed questions about my behavior. I answered truthfully. But every time i let her know the truth she was hurt more. She asked all the who, what, where, where, when, questions and she still has more. We're not sure what do to from here. The deceit, the betrayal of trust and security in our loving relationship is what hurts her the most. I just don't know what to do next. I asked for an appointment with my social worker this morning. |
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 Ceridwen18
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Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
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Jul 08, 2016 at 01:53 PM
#2
Hello rex_salvebo2: I'm sorry you & your SO have encountered this difficulty. I'm not sure I know what a "cam site" is. I presume it has to do with on-line pornography. Assuming this is correct, one thing you might do is to take a look at this website:
Overcoming Pornography Addiction Beyond that I would suggest that you consider some individual therapy for yourself & perhaps some couples counseling for the two of you. Best wishes... 
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Member
Member Since Jan 2016
Location: Chicago
Posts: 191
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Jul 09, 2016 at 12:43 PM
#3
I've had good results from SAA. Porn and cam sites are not a bad thing for all people. You have to sit down with your SO and talk openly about what's in or out. Then you have to start the difficult task of honoring your commitment. Some people look at porn as cheating, the same as having an affair IRL. Getting professional help is recommended. Don't try to repair the relationship on your own.
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
Posts: 5,621
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Jul 13, 2016 at 02:32 AM
#4
I don't have a SO but this is a big problem for a lot of people. You are not alone and there are groups out there that can help you to overcome them. If it had been going on for that long and is adding stress to the relationship then I would say it's a problem with fixing. It will be hard but you don't want to cheat on her further. It will hurt her more.
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