Pantyhose Fetish, Crossdressing

I'm 45 male who has been married for 7 years. Wife and daughter are good and marriage is generally happy.

I've been obsessed with pantyhose since age 14. I would often wear them and obsess about pantyhose pictures in catalogs and with other girls wearing them. As time went on I did some experimenting with crossdressing in my 20s but didn't follow up with it much once I hit 30.

During this time I my 30s I was also heavily involved in porn and would spend hours wearing pantyhose and watching porn. Once I got married the porn obsession died off but I do find myself on occasion looking at modeling and non nude videos that cater to pantyhose fetish.

So I find myself wanting to wear pantyhose more often and wanting to do some crossdressing again. Wife knows about my past with pantyhose and crossdressing but is not in favor of it and thinks it's wrong.

Ideally what I'm looking to do is take some occasional time myself to crossdress and wear pantyhose. When I've done this in the past it leaves me feeling satisfied and fulfilled for a few weeks until I desire doing it again. I don't desire to be transgender or dress full time publicly.

I do however have to keep it private and will be unable to share this acitivy with my wife.

Advice appreciated when spouse disagrees with a particular fetish like mine. How far do you take it and want have you done?

Hi NJTech,

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Wild Coyote

Hi NJTech,

Crossdressing and pantyhose fetishes are not that uncommon. I have worked on a forum for crossdressing and/or transgendered people in the past.

While I don't share your fetish, I understand this can feel very compelling, as it is a part of self-expression.

Some cities have crossdressing clubs, where participants have lockers and keep their clothing. They dress when they get to the club. They spend time together at the club and then change into their usual clothing before they leave the club. I don't know if such a club is available to you?

Other times, people rent a hotel room and spend time dressed within the room, which sounds very lonely. Sometimes someone who enjoys crossdressing can find another person who enjoys this and they share rented space and times together.

As you know, when it's not a "secret," some meet, dress and go out together just like any other groups of friends.

I am sorry you feel you must keep this from your wife; I understand she objects. I can't help but think she will somehow catch on to the fact that something is going on, and will then totally mistrust you.

I'm encouraging you to tell her and let her choose if she'd like to share this with you or if she'll tell you that you are on your own with this. I have known of many couples who have made it through this and set aside time within their schedule to participate together. I have chatted with many wives who have helped their husbands with fashion tips, make-up tips, etc.

I am not 100% sure of how I would handle it if I were in your shoes or in your wife's shoes. Yet, I am hoping you can find a way to share this and keep the family healthy and intact.

Have you ever considered trying to negotiate this with the support of a couples counselor?

I wish you the best. I hope things work out in a way that you do not have to keep secrets from your wife.

Call me crazy, but I think the "secrecy" part might end up being the deal-breaker.

In this culture, women can get away with dressing in a very masculine style. Men cannot get away with dressing in a very feminine style. Everyone needs to have a safe place to express themselves.

Respectfully,

WC

Just had another thought: I am surprised to see your post in an "addictions" forum. I don't see your preferences as an addiction at all. It's simply a part of your sexuality and your self-expression, IMOHO.

You are suppressing a part of yourself, so it feels even more compelling, which makes sense. Doesn't make it an addiction. Again, IMOHO.


WC

i,m a lesbian and i love having sex with my partner when wearing pantyhose and a leotard suit it a bdsm for me i can,t go with out the pantyhose and leotard suit it an addiction i love sitting over her face and see her suffer under my outfits.

It is a sex addiction. When searching for my last therapist more then one that I contacted informed me of this. More than 1 would not bill my insurance because of it being an addiction.