Scared of my peace of mind

I've been married 2 1/2 years and I've always believed in keeping things fresh, of course. I never want my husband to want or need for anything, or to ever be able to say how it used to be. Near the beginning of our relationship, about 4, 5 years ago, I had my heart on my sleeve, I was sensitive about a lot of things... Nowadays, I feel I've been dealing better with who i am and what i want sexually. Yeah, i have bouts of depression, but at 24 (I'm 24 now) I've found true love and adequacy in myself. Lately I have had an incredible peace of mind, almost scarey. Its not much I care about, and im way past having my feelings hurt or being sensitive or jealous. I've found peace in my own satisfactory. Because of this, I've been slowly wanting to explore 1 thing at a time, nothing too major (i don't think). But I know my appetite and im scared of always wanting more. I dont want to get lost in the thrill and excited of it all and end up with regrets. Or what if its my husband who gets caught up and wants more of something and I want to stop...?
I, MYSELF am saying, its ok to experiment with this and that, but no further that. SHE, this other side of me, wants go beyond that. I'm scared and frustrated because I know what I want, but i also know what i need, and it may not be this.

Im probably not even making since right now...