managing urges and maintaining healthy sexuality

"Thinking of sex to the detriment of other activities or continually engaging in excessive sexual practices despite a desire to stop."

"Continually engaging in the sexual behavior despite negative consequences, such as broken relationships or potential health risks."

"Feeling irritable when unable to engage in the desired behavior."

I've had these three experiences. My sexual behaviors has intervened with activities and hobbies, even some that I've enjoyed. I've been in situations where I've thought of hurting myself or taking my own life, because of my sexual behavior. And sometimes I feel very frustrated when I can't sexually behave.

I want to find less destructive alternative behaviors; review my sexual history; make my behaviors less private; and discover what things drives me. All of these things can help me gain a better level of sex health.

at around 11:30pm I privately communicated with some lady on some chatroom website. I don't like privately communicating with women because it's very close to sexting them. I don't privately communicate with men, so why with women? anyhow the ladies, whom I chatted with, were not interested in communicating with me; an I got very sad.

I was trying very hard to communicate with them, but they weren't interested and so I felt like a predator. It's not healthy for me to put myself in situations where I feel like that. And that chatroom website is very strict where I can probably get banned for my private communications with them. I need to find better environments to communicate with women, and I should try public communication rather than private communication.

It hurts a lot when I try to communicate with people and they don't communicate back. But unlike private communication, public communication has a greater audience. I don't have to feel rejected so much, within public communication, because there's usually always somebody to communicate with. I feel less judged in public communications, because there are people in public conversations to make sure I'm not being judged.

I don't privately message men, so why should I privately message women? It's very near sexting, with my history anyhow. And part of improving my sexual health involves being more public and less private.

One reason why I decided to privately communicate with them is because I haven't been having much luck publicly communicating with others. I have a mental illness and people tend to not want to communicate with me because of it. Some people avoid me because of my mental illness, gender, sexuality, religion, hair, skin color, race, age, economy, and height. But whether I publicly or privately communicate with women, they will still not want to communicate with me. And public communication allows me to communicate with an audience of people, rather than just one person, increasing my chances of finding someone who will communicate back with me or understand me.

Today was a failure for me because I relapsed and privately communicated with women, even though I didn't sext them. My sexual health only worsens when I privately behave like this. Next time if I want to communicate with women, I need to do it in a public environment. And if women don't want to communicate with me, then that's pefectly okay.

I shouldn't pressure myself to communicate with women, honestly. Communication is important for me, and communicating helps lower my social anxiety that can affect my sexual health. But I can communicate with people, in general. I don't need to deliberately try to communicate with women, especially random women who'll end up making me feel very sad and predatory.

I'm not a professional but I don't think you're addicted to sex. I think you just want to connect with a woman on an emotional and physical level, and the fact that you're not getting that is making you feel sexually frustrated. I'm not in those chat rooms with you, but try to figure out what kinds of things you're saying that are turning these women off. Women like to feel comfortable and safe with men they talk to, so overt sexual advances will usually repel them.

After all, men's biggest fear of women is that they'll be laughed at, and women's biggest fear of men is that they'll be murdered. That's why it's so important to make a woman feel like she can trust you. You can do this by making her laugh, showing interest in her life and hobbies, seeing what she's passionate about, and after gathering enough information, suggesting a hang out in a public setting, doing an activity that you'll both have fun doing. Hopefully it'll go well, but if ****ing her is the final destination, that'll show in your actions, and she'll sense that and be turned off. Play it cool, and actually do your best to try to get to know her.

You seem like a pretty handsome guy under that beard. Maybe give it a little trim, take a pic with a nice filter, and put yourself out there on a dating website. A lot of them have systems that match you up with people that have similar profiles to you, so your soulmate might be out there waiting for you and you don't even know it!

you've made a lot of assumptions about me. it's probably not safe for me to read this post unless you can quote parts of this sex journal to base your assumptions. I won't tolerate or suffer prejudice or discrimination in this safe space for sex addicts.

try posting this again, but use quotes from my public sex journal to defend your assumptions.

I'm sorry that it came off as judgmental, I'm only trying to help. Like I said, I'm not a professional. I was making assumptions based on the fact that you said women will often cut communication off from you, and that might be because of the things that you say to them. Even if you are being respectful, sometimes the setting alone will change the context. Instagram, for example, is a place where women will often get tons of unwanted attention from men, so they filter out and block the guys who they think are potentially going to bother them. I wouldn't take that personally, and would try communicating with women in an online setting where they are actually looking for that. Have you ever tried using OkCupid, eHarmony, or anything like that?

You're right though, I don't know you, or your history, and I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Forgive me.

Also, I should've mentioned this before, but I'm also a sex addict. I just went on a huge sex bender last month and have only recently decided to cut myself off form dating apps, saunas, and bars altogether. My point is, I can relate to you.

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, redCanine3669 Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn some new coping skills to deal with these feelings you have. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now. I'm so sorry, please don't give up. I know it's not easy. I know things seem pretty bad right now, but trust me when I say that things can get better. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. We're here for you. We'll liste to what you have to say. We care about you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

thanks MickeyCheeky. I agree that therapy would help.

I hope you're doing ok, redCanine3669. Are things going any better? Please don't give up. I know it's hard. I think you're handling all of this very well. Be proud of yourself for that. Try to hang on. Remember that we're here for you to support you. Feel free to PM me anytime. I'm always available if you need to talk. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you