Cheating, doing some strange sexual stuff - Compulsive sexual behavior ?

Hello,

I am in a 10 yrs relation with a woman that I really love

I find sex with her sweet and enjoyable.

I cheated her around 20 times till now - mostly with escorts/prostitutes that do protected oral sex to me.

I sometimes watch porn and masturbate, but not very much.

I also did sometimes 2 somehow strange things:

- did protected oral sex to men even tho I am not gay (but after watching many porn, I became aroused with penises and the act of doing oral sex, till I could no longer resist in doing this fantasy in real life);

- in very crowded buses I like to touch with woman and I become aroused

I had only one affair with a women and did also normal sex with her - but after a while also the sex intensity with my affair diminished.

In conclusion, only one time I did normal sex with another woman, but oral sex with many others.

I do not necessarily enjoy doing sexually stuff with other women, I cheat mostly out of impulse, and because I think and fantasize a lot about other women - till the point I cannot resist to do something sexually with a stranger.

After doing sexually stuff with another women, I loss interest in that woman. I do love my 10yrs gf.

I cheat, anyway, only occasionally.

With doing this I feel that I add some intensity to my life. Something that makes me escape the daily routine.

This whole thing does not affect much my life, only that I start to pose myself plenty questions about me. Also that much of the time I fantasize about other women.

I have some problem? I don't think is necessary to find a therapist, I think in my country many are not well prepared and very expensive.

Well... my thinking would be that if you're comfortable with the way you're living your life, & it's not harming anyone, then perhaps there's really no problem here. However you mentioned your 10 year relationship with a woman you say you really love. Of course I don't know what the status of that relationship is. If your relationship with her is more what is sometimes referred to as "friends with benefits", & both of you are okay with the other having additional relationships, then perhaps there's no problem there either. But if the woman you mentioned is assuming the two of you are in some sort of committed relationship, & at the same time you're cheating on her in all of these various ways, then I'd suggest there's a problem. And in that case, it seems to me, you either need to cut ties with this woman & go on enjoying the way you're living your life or figure out some way of getting to the bottom of what you're doing. Unfortunately you've already ruled out therapy which is the normal way most people would approach this type of task. So, off-hand, I'm not sure what else I could recommend. Here's a link to an article, from Psych Central's archives, though on the subject of sex addiction. The article provides links to a number of additional articles on the subject:

What Is Sexual Addiction?

Best wishes...

The OP is engaged to be married to his girlfriend of 10 years, and has a 2nd thread on here about this issue. Many members are encouraging him to be 100% honest and upfront with his fiance about his cheating, to give her the option to choose to marry him or not, based on full disclosure. He says she is aware that he has an obsession or addiction to sex, but she is not aware that he has been with prostitutes during their relationship. The OP doesn't believe it's that much of an issue, which is a problem if his fiance is expecting monogamy and honesty within the relationship. He hasn't disclosed that they have an open relationship agreement.