[Mountaindewed]

I used to masturbate like once a month and I felt so disgusted with myself afterwards and I’d feel weird often all the next day. One time I went 3 months without doing it. I would never do it after a good day. It always had to be when I already felt crappy. Then my hormones got out of whack after starting T March 2020 and my libido got out of control. I suddenly went from once a month to 3 times a day. It was pretty out of control since I had to stop in the middle of what I was doing to go to my room when I got urges. Then things calmed down after I switched my shots to weekly instead of biweekly and I’m down to once at night but If I’m super tired I won’t do it. I’ve heard that masturbating can be a form of self care. I know my anxiety gets instantly better the second I’m done even if it was out of control all day. I try not to use porn because that does make me feel gross. I can usually get off by using a lot of lube and reading posts on a forum I’m on.

Has anyone heard this before? About it being a form of self care?

My therapist was the one who helped me through all this last summer and she was the one who told me about lubes and stuff since I had no idea what it was before. She was a lifesaver last summer since she asked me first about masturbating and I knew she was a safe person to talk to.

[WastingAsparagus]

I feel like it's pretty normal to do. I mean I don't necessarily consider it the most important form of self-care that I have. But it's something. I mean there were times when I was super lonely when it may not have been the most redeeming form of self-care. But I mean, pleasurable things aren't bad. Maybe excessively they can be. But I don't think it's bad.

[leomama]

It can be a compulsion. I wouldn’t call it self care. I’ve noticed a lot of your posts seemed to be fixated on sex. Was that something you experienced before transitioning? Do you belong to any support groups for f2m transition?

[Mountaindewed]

I don’t have “a lot” of posts about sex. And anyways I always post my threads in the correct sections of the forum. So if you don’t want to read or get involved in them then just don’t. I use certain terms and phrases elsewhere but very rarely.

I am not part of a ftm support group online because they are toxic. I am part of another site like this one for a specific interest and I’m very welcomed there.

You are making me feel like what I’m doing or into is wrong and I don’t appreciate that.

[Marie123]

It is a normal part of human behavior.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I don’t have “a lot” of posts about sex. And anyways I always post my threads in the correct sections of the forum. So if you don’t want to read or get involved in them then just don’t. I use certain terms and phrases elsewhere but very rarely.

I am not part of a ftm support group online because they are toxic. I am part of another site like this one for a specific interest and I’m very welcomed there.

You are making me feel like what I’m doing or into is wrong and I don’t appreciate that.

I’m not going to argue. I didn’t say masturbation was wrong. I said it can be compulsive. Another word for that is addictive. The more you do it, the more you feel compelled to do it.
In terms of the transitioning thing, I read that your heightened sex drive could be the result of artificial testosterone. I wasn’t saying anything about your posting. I’m sorry you don’t feel a part of the f2m online community. I can imagine that might feel alienating.
I think you’re making some wrong assumptions here. I was a peer educator in college, was considering going into community health. I’ve actually received doctoral level training in human sexuality . However if you prefer I ignore your posts I will do that. I’ve noticed you’ve ignored things I’ve said to you before so it may save us both needlessly wasting our time and energy.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by leomama

I’m not going to argue. I didn’t say masturbation was wrong. I said it can be compulsive. Another word for that is addictive. The more you do it, the more you feel compelled to do it.
In terms of the transitioning thing, I read that your heightened sex drive could be the result of artificial testosterone. I wasn’t saying anything about your posting. I’m sorry you don’t feel a part of the f2m online community. I can imagine that might feel alienating.
I think you’re making some wrong assumptions here. I was a peer educator in college, was considering going into community health. I’ve actually received doctoral level training in human sexuality . However if you prefer I ignore your posts I will do that. I’ve noticed you’ve ignored things I’ve said to you before so it may save us both needlessly wasting our time and energy.

Some of your questions I’ve ignored because they are a bit invasive. I’ve noticed you are like that to everyone so I don’t take it personally I just ignore the questions instead of getting into it with you like I am now.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Some of your questions I’ve ignored because they are a bit invasive. I’ve noticed you are like that to everyone so I don’t take it personally I just ignore the questions instead of getting into it with you like I am now.

Yes I’ve noticed you ignored points I’ve made , and yes, I don’t treat you any different then anyone else. I think good peers challenge each other. I don’t think we benefit from hearing what we want to hear, I think we benefit from hearing what we need to hear. As we have gone way off topic, I don’t think you’re interested in my comments, so I will stop offering them.

[Mountaindewed]

Thank you. I am not interested.

[Mountaindewed]

My therapist brought it up today. Without me bringing it up first. She asked if there was a lot of it going on. And I said it’s calmed down a lot. She talked about keeping up with hygiene and peeing afterwards. I didn’t mention the self care part. I’m glad she’s the one that brought it up first in a non invasive and professional type of way.

[mssweatypalms]

For me, it's important, but I don't really consider it self-care. When I'm stable or hypomanic, it relaxes me, but it doesn't work when I'm depressed.

[TishaBuv]

I was blessed to be raised with no one telling me anything about sexuality. I got to discover for myself, my own libido, turn ons, etc… No shame was placed upon me by anyone! . IMHO, it is the ultimate self care. It feels good and it hurts no one.

“ my anxiety gets instantly better the second I’m done even if it was out of control all day”
^I feel this way, too. After the release of orgasm, it feels good; like the rush of endorphins after a work out.

I’m sorry it made you feel disgusted. Where did you get that ‘stinking thinking’? That’s something to discuss with your t.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m not really sure why I felt so disgusted. I know things were ok until I was put on Zoloft in 2015 which seemed to kill my sex drive even years after I got off it. I was also not told anything about sex and I had to discover things on my own. I’d have to Google a lot of things when I was like 11 because I had no idea what I was experiencing. The kids in Jr. High kinda figured out my sexuality before I did because I was always talking about the female teachers when we were in elementary school. They were not cool about it. When I finally admitted it to myself the summer between 7th and 8th grade It felt like a weight had been lifted. I came out to my mom first and she was just like “ok. Whatever makes you happy” Things were normal for a number of years until 2015 when I was on Zoloft for 3 months. Then in 2019 my injections caused started to cause me to feel things again. Now I feel pretty much ok about things.

[Mountaindewed]

But it’s actually become quite painful lately and I get freaked out and I don’t feel relaxed after. This is how my surgery will be covered so it’s not bad but it’s just not enjoyable right now.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I was blessed to be raised with no one telling me anything about sexuality. I got to discover for myself, my own libido, turn ons, etc… No shame was placed upon me by anyone! . IMHO, it is the ultimate self care. It feels good and it hurts no one.

“ my anxiety gets instantly better the second I’m done even if it was out of control all day”
^I feel this way, too. After the release of orgasm, it feels good; like the rush of endorphins after a work out.

I’m sorry it made you feel disgusted. Where did you get that ‘stinking thinking’? That’s something to discuss with your t.

I was raised by PUs who thought sex was disgusting and who shamed me for any ''normal'' activities They shamed me for almost everything

I was the receptacle for their sociopathic rage and projection

[pratyusha]

Not really. You can however do it for stress release.

[Mountaindewed]

My surgery seems to have killed it again. The first 4 weeks after my surgery I was going against my doctors orders because I felt unable to control myself. It felt insane. That just ended up adding an extra 2 weeks to my recovery since I wasnt being careful. Now I'm fully healed but no sex drive. Which is nice not to constantly be turned on but I didn't want it to completly go away.

[AliceKate]

I think it's self-care, as I have experienced what you discribe, it helps me with my anxiety, too. I'm sure it can be addictive, but I think it's not an issue unless you feel it disrupts your life. I do use porn, but I can totally understand your aversion towards it.

[Cap451]

I think it depends on how you are defining self-care. For example, if it’s part of a pattern that helps you de-stress, enables you to focus better, improves your health, etc then I’d say yes it can be. If it’s taking over your life, causing more stress than it’s providing, isolates you, you’re using it to avoid problems, then no.

My opinion is as long as it's not affecting your life it's fine

[Mountaindewed]

Lately for me it seems more like my level is either too low or high then a form of self care.

[Open Eyes]

Masturbation is actually a normal part of being human. It’s also a normal part of our self discovery and self exploration. Our hormones play an important role when it comes to developing a desire to engage in sexual activity. Nothing to be ashamed of or grossed out by.

From what you share, you are making changes and changing yourself hormonally. This will impact your sexual desires on a biological level.

Also antidepressants can affect a persons libido and sexual desire. They are not really sure why, only that it can happen and that the benefit of reducing depression have out weighed the need for sexual engagement. Sometime an antidepressant can increase desire but interfere with the ability to orgasm and gain a release. They are not really sure why that happens either. At least the last I had researched about the gain in understanding the scientific or biological they did not yet understand. Study is a constant as humans are always searching for the whys and how to improve our quality of life.

Try to focus on you own sense of quality of life and be caring and understanding of self.