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MuteSwan
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Trig Nov 21, 2022 at 02:23 AM
  #1
I’m so miserable because I’ve spent 2 years with a therapist that has concluded that I’m Hypersexual and not Addicted to sex. I’m not sure I agree considering this started after a sexual assault. I’m not bipolar, and have no recognized mental illnesses that I can blame it all on.

I’m in a relationship but no matter how many times my boyfriend and I have sex I never feel satisfied until I’ve had multiple orgasms. So far I’ve not physically cheated, but I have watched porn to masturbate to get me off several times a day.

I feel like an alcoholic. I went out with a friend last night for drinks and when guys flirted with me I really wanted to have sex with them.

How do I stop the needing sex feeling? I don’t want to be like this forever but I’d be lying if I said I hated sex. I don’t, and that’s my problem. Please help.

Last edited by bluekoi; Dec 08, 2022 at 12:26 AM.. Reason: Add trigger icon.
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Heart Nov 21, 2022 at 05:54 PM
  #2
Hiya, this is the right section for both hypersexual and sex addiction.

Becoming a hypersexual after sexual assault can happen, as well as becoming asexual after an assault.

I think the difference between hypersexual and addiction is that addiction is an activity you actively do. For example, masturbating to porn multiple times a day, that you lose important time may fall under sex/porn addiction.


However if you are able to reduce or stop these activities, but still get sexual thoughts to the point it interferes with you, then that may be hypersexual. For example, getting thoughts or images of sex with that guy could be hypersexual.

Have you tried limiting the number of times you have sex and masturbate? I personally find that limiting to once a week can make orgasms feel amazing, rather than doing it everyday. Liking sex is fine, but your issue seems to be with limiting it.
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Default Nov 28, 2022 at 11:53 AM
  #3
Could be both ? Your hyper sexuality can morph into an addiction. An addiction is sometimes you cannot control.
It's a compulsion. If it was addiction you'd be having sex to the point where it would interfere, dominate or just plain wreck your life. The sexual assault makes it a very complicated issue for the therapist. It seems to have triggered you into this hyper sexuality rather than asexual as was mentioned. It's very hard to control your thoughts, for sure. But I would suggest trying very hard to focus on something other than sex. Maybe a medical doctor could help you more than a therapist. I know that there are medications out there that can pretty much take away desire and ability.
Best of luck to you...

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Default Dec 08, 2022 at 12:08 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Procrastonator View Post
Hiya, this is the right section for both hypersexual and sex addiction.

Becoming a hypersexual after sexual assault can happen, as well as becoming asexual after an assault.

I think the difference between hypersexual and addiction is that addiction is an activity you actively do. For example, masturbating to porn multiple times a day, that you lose important time may fall under sex/porn addiction.


However if you are able to reduce or stop these activities, but still get sexual thoughts to the point it interferes with you, then that may be hypersexual. For example, getting thoughts or images of sex with that guy could be hypersexual.

Have you tried limiting the number of times you have sex and masturbate? I personally find that limiting to once a week can make orgasms feel amazing, rather than doing it everyday. Liking sex is fine, but your issue seems to be with limiting it.
Thank you for telling me this is the right place to post, Procrastinator.
You’ve definitely touched on something there. I don’t actively seek out any type of sexual activities just for the sake of it! That almost certainly rules out addiction.

Mine is more a continuous arousal, or semi arousal. Sometimes I can ignore it and other times not. I’ve tried cutting down all sexual activity and then end up waking up at night, or being woken at night by intense orgasms from sleep, or waking up sexually aroused to a painful point. . The next day I feel absolutely exhausted.

I can stop looking at porn, but I’ve only used it to get me over the edge fast and get on with my day.

One thing that’s been haunting me is that my bf says I’m normal for him, but he’s never satisfied either. I worry now that we’re two hyper sexual ppl together, which is good but must have it’s downside.

Apologies for the late reply. I had the dreaded virus.
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Trig Dec 08, 2022 at 12:21 AM
  #5
Going by the post above I don’t think it’s sexual addiction anymore.

I don’t feel I have a compulsion either, at least not in my head, but it’s as if my body does. It’s a desperate unrelenting need to quieten physical desires. Like I’m not thinking of sex but my body suddenly has a need. My doctor has checked my hormone levels and they’re all normal except for very high estrogen (female hormone).

Prior to the sexual assault my sex drive was relatively high, but nothing like this now, and it’s the ease in which I can be aroused - that scares me.

One thing about medications, I don’t want to feel nothing either. I’m seeking some kind of middle ground. I’m on an antidepressant to try and help but it’s not shutting my body down at all.

Last edited by bluekoi; Dec 08, 2022 at 12:26 AM.. Reason: Add trigger icon.
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Default Jan 05, 2023 at 06:54 AM
  #6
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Originally Posted by MuteSwan View Post
Going by the post above I don’t think it’s sexual addiction anymore.

I don’t feel I have a compulsion either, at least not in my head, but it’s as if my body does. It’s a desperate unrelenting need to quieten physical desires. Like I’m not thinking of sex but my body suddenly has a need. My doctor has checked my hormone levels and they’re all normal except for very high estrogen (female hormone).

Prior to the sexual assault my sex drive was relatively high, but nothing like this now, and it’s the ease in which I can be aroused - that scares me.

One thing about medications, I don’t want to feel nothing either. I’m seeking some kind of middle ground. I’m on an antidepressant to try and help but it’s not shutting my body down at all.
............. I think the answer can partly lay in your elevated estrogen levels. Without the hormones its very difficult to get sexually aroused . Did you state how old you were ? I may have missed it. I can understand having this physical need that just has to be satisfied. The sexual assault and porn itself both have led to an unhealthy sex life devoid of any real meaningful satisfaction. It can be a very complex issue with mind / body indications. You also say your boyfriend has some issues here ...is it a quality rather than quantity issue ?
I remember that from even a young age it would seem like I had no control over getting an erection even at the most inappropriate and embarrassing moments. Maybe this was an undiagnosed condition in and of itself.
Anyhow , hope you get helped with this problem soon. BTW: A lot of medications (certain antidepressants, etc..) can lead to a much diminished libido.

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