Issues regarding affection.......

moodyblue83 · Mar 12, 2023 at 07:18 AM

I'm at the point of my life now where sex is all but nonexistent.
I have a partner who will not fulfill my needs because she's become a-sexual due to physical reasons. She also will not hug me or touch me during the day. I need physical contact and affection ! She can do without it. I think money gets her off , not touching. I don't want to step outside the marriage and create any new drama but I'm dying inside. She knows she has the upper hand and is playing it out for all it's worth. I'm an old sentimental dinosaur in this world. Dear God help me or take me.

Yaowen · Mar 12, 2023 at 10:24 AM

I can definitely identify with you from past unhappy experience although now I live alone. I wish your wife would change her ways and be affectionate towards you. I also wish I had some helpful advice but sadly I am at a loss. My heart goes out to you.

Mendingmysoul · Mar 12, 2023 at 12:14 PM

@moodyblue83,some women hesitate to take the initiative regarding intimacy. Your wife seems tobe one of those.You said you need some kind of physical contact,touching or HUGS during the day .Why don't you go hug her or do some kind of affectionate touching yourself.Do it multiple times and see if she mellows down.Come back here to share with us,what happened when you hug or touch her.Sometimes there are simple solutions to things.I am positive she will react to your affection and things will be back on track for you.I am really curious to know, so please comeback to tell if that worked.

moodyblue83 · Mar 16, 2023 at 06:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mendingmysoul

@moodyblue83,some women hesitate to take the initiative regarding intimacy. Your wife seems tobe one of those.You said you need some kind of physical contact,touching or HUGS during the day .Why don't you go hug her or do some kind of affectionate touching yourself.Do it multiple times and see if she mellows down.Come back here to share with us,what happened when you hug or touch her.Sometimes there are simple solutions to things.I am positive she will react to your affection and things will be back on track for you.I am really curious to know, so please comeback to tell if that worked.

I've tried what you said but unfortunately it didn't change anything. She'll NEVER make the first move. Your right , she's afraid of where it will lead to , ( btw : what's so bad about leading somewhere ? ). I've tried to initiate hugging , holding hands , kissing , but it all ends abruptly. She has no passion anymore. No desire for me like back in the day when she couldn't get enough. She's pushing me out the door and that's fine with me. I'll either live alone or shack up with somebody who's in the same situation. Getting very frustrated ....

OafFish · Mar 16, 2023 at 10:04 AM

It's painful when love leaves the relationship. I'm sorry

Mendingmysoul · Mar 17, 2023 at 10:11 PM

How old is she?What did you mean by she became asexual due to physical reasons?Can you elaborate on that?I remember you shared in another thread she lost her femininity. And she suffered from cancer.Did she go through mastectomy?Is that what you meant by losing femininity?

moodyblue83 · Mar 19, 2023 at 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mendingmysoul

How old is she?What did you mean by she became asexual due to physical reasons?Can you elaborate on that?I remember you shared in another thread she lost her femininity. And she suffered from cancer.Did she go through mastectomy?Is that what you meant by losing femininity?

She's in her 60's. Had a treatable blood cancer. It's about the hormones. She had to stop taking hormones because of the cancer scare. With a depletion of estrogen the desire to even think about sex goes out the window. It's like a male with low testosterone. Ain't nothing happening. I think it's best I just let it go. I really don't want to end the marriage over that one issue. But I have to say , I'm extremely frustrated.

Discombobulated · Mar 19, 2023 at 06:54 AM

Did you talk to her about how you’re feeling? What was her reaction if you did?

Mendingmysoul · Mar 19, 2023 at 12:08 PM

Thank you for sharing moodyblue83.Sounds like physiological issue.And she stopped reaching out with other forms of love and passion,i.e. touching, hugging,kissing, things like that.You crave it.I wish you find a solution and be content with it.

moodyblue83 · Mar 21, 2023 at 02:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

Did you talk to her about how you’re feeling? What was her reaction if you did?

I've TRIED to talk to her about this issue MANY times but all I get is no response , silence. And anger towards me for even bringing it up. I've been addicted to her love for so long that I've become a sap. I'm such a people pleaser that I can't break away.
I did once but went crawling back. I never met anyone else. She took me back. I have to remember that I have many issues that she doesn't understand or care to. She says I'm " high maintenance ". I know I have ailments but what about the oath we took once. For better or worse , right ?

moodyblue83 · Mar 21, 2023 at 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mendingmysoul

Thank you for sharing moodyblue83.Sounds like physiological issue.And she stopped reaching out with other forms of love and passion,i.e. touching, hugging,kissing, things like that.You crave it.I wish you find a solution and be content with it.

I think SHE needs therapy but refuses to go. It's all MY fault.
I'm the one with the problems , not her. Like you said , I hope I find a solution before it's too late.

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Issues regarding affection.......

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Yaowen Grand Magnate Yaowen has no updates. Member Since: Jan 2020 Location: USA Posts: 3,385 (SuperPoster!) 6,085 hugs given	Mar 12, 2023 at 10:24 AM #2 I can definitely identify with you from past unhappy experience although now I live alone. I wish your wife would change her ways and be affectionate towards you. I also wish I had some helpful advice but sadly I am at a loss. My heart goes out to you.
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OafFish Veteran Member OafFish has no updates. Member Since: Jul 2022 Location: The Far West Posts: 687 (SuperPoster!)	Mar 16, 2023 at 10:04 AM #5 It's painful when love leaves the relationship. I'm sorry
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Mendingmysoul Grand Member Mendingmysoul has no updates. Member Since: Aug 2019 Location: Here Posts: 831 783 hugs given	Mar 17, 2023 at 10:11 PM #6 How old is she?What did you mean by she became asexual due to physical reasons?Can you elaborate on that?I remember you shared in another thread she lost her femininity. And she suffered from cancer.Did she go through mastectomy?Is that what you meant by losing femininity?
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Discombobulated Grand Magnate Discombobulated has no updates. Member Since: Oct 2019 Location: UK Posts: 3,580 (SuperPoster!) 9,120 hugs given	Mar 19, 2023 at 06:54 AM #8 Did you talk to her about how you’re feeling? What was her reaction if you did?
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Mendingmysoul Grand Member Mendingmysoul has no updates. Member Since: Aug 2019 Location: Here Posts: 831 783 hugs given	Mar 19, 2023 at 12:08 PM #9 Thank you for sharing moodyblue83.Sounds like physiological issue.And she stopped reaching out with other forms of love and passion,i.e. touching, hugging,kissing, things like that.You crave it.I wish you find a solution and be content with it.
	Reply With Quote