Home Menu

Menu



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Character
New Member
 
Member Since Nov 2023
Location: United States
Posts: 5
Default Nov 07, 2023 at 03:36 AM
  #1
Starting in my early 20s I was in a relationship for 8 years. The first four of those we had amazing sex, we filmed ourselves doing it often. We got a rush from doing it in public places risking getting noticed such as clubs, rest areas, beaches. After our first child was born, our sex life changed to the other extreme. No sex at all. To this day I’m not sure what exactly happened but the fact is my ex quit loving me. She became distant and defensive. A lot happened the last year we were together, her father passed away, she got fired at her job and she found ways to blame me for just about everything. We got divorced and I begun dating again two years later. I found a nice girl and I ended up marrying her two years after that. Sex was never great. She does not like giving or getting oral sex, hates the idea of filming during sex, and has no interest in having sex in public spaces. However, she is very predictable and steady. We’ve been together 5 years now and have had a child. We have sex twice a week on average and it’s nothing to write home about but it gets the job done. I do miss the wild, risky sex I had with my ex in my 20s. I know deep inside that the honesty and commitment I have in my current partner far outweighs the fun I had but I miss so much the high highs I had while having crazy sex with my ex. I sure hope that the yearning goes away over time, or that I come to understand why I placed so much value on that wild unrestrained sex. Thoughts?
Character is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
TheGal
Poohbah
 
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,198
2
817 hugs
given
Default Nov 07, 2023 at 04:53 PM
  #2
So, you're in your mid-thirities now?

I've been involved with the Lifestyle and BDSM. I'm celibate now, but if I were to enter into another relationship, it would need to be open... but, alas, I'm getting long in the tooth, so I'd probably settle for cocoa. haha

From my p-o-v, if you liked what you experienced, you're probably always going to think about it from time to time.
TheGal is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Character
New Member
 
Member Since Nov 2023
Location: United States
Posts: 5
Default Nov 08, 2023 at 01:47 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGal View Post
So, you're in your mid-thirities now?

I've been involved with the Lifestyle and BDSM. I'm celibate now, but if I were to enter into another relationship, it would need to be open... but, alas, I'm getting long in the tooth, so I'd probably settle for cocoa. haha

From my p-o-v, if you liked what you experienced, you're probably always going to think about it from time to time.

Yes, I am in my late thirties now. In principle, it shouldn't be difficult to think about the things I liked in the past and accept that they are no longer there. For example, my grandma has passed. She was an amazing person and I loved spending time with her. I don't think about her every day, or even every week or every month. I live in peace with the fact that she is no longer with us. Yet somehow I miss my ex way more than grandma even when grandma had a way bigger role in raising me. Makes no sense. I like your point of view, I have no problem thinking about it from time time. That is manageable. When the thinking becomes craving it is when it becomes unmanageable for me.
Character is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
TheGal
Poohbah
 
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,198
2
817 hugs
given
Default Nov 08, 2023 at 05:26 AM
  #4
A "craving ... it becomes unmanageable..."?

That sounds like language used in a 12-step program. Have you been to such a group?

What do you think? Do you have an addiction?
TheGal is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Tart Cherry Jam
Magnate
 
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
Posts: 2,794 (SuperPoster!)
3
1,253 hugs
given
Default Nov 14, 2023 at 10:37 PM
  #5
This is not an addiction.

I am sorry you cannot recreate what you had with your current woman.

__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Geodon 40 mg
Seroquel 75 mg


Gabapentin 1200 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- hypothyroidism
- obesity BMI ~ 38
Tart Cherry Jam is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Unsure where to post first post - Hypersexual or Addiction? MuteSwan Sexual Addictions 5 Jan 05, 2023 06:54 AM
Writing about addiction...second post, sorry! AtreyuFreak Addictions 4 May 27, 2010 03:51 AM
A post from the creative corner: On addiction. jazzy123456 Addictions 1 Apr 29, 2010 09:25 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:29 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.